Satin and Lace
by ColHogan
Summary: ATTENTION!You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of Col. Robert Hogan and Marie Louise Monet aka 'Tiger'. Time: 1930 hours.Day: July 13th, 1943.Place: Stalag 13.In lieu of gifts, the bride and groom request you join the Allies to help end the war. The photo cover for this story is used with permission by lorency from Live Journal.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I do not own Hogan's Heroes or any of its characters. But I do own the DVD set and enjoy watching them. This story has been rolling around in my head for some time and it was suggested I should post it to celebrate the late Bob Crane's birthday on July 13th with the last chapter(s) posted exactly on the 13th. So, here it is. The characters of Capt. Fritz Fuchs aka Bluebird, his wife Lilly, and their son David are used with permission of their creator Jennaya. I also want to thank Jennaya for her beta work. Please R & R.*****2011 PBA Winner-Gold/Best Teaser. Silver-Canon Extra/Tiger and Bronze-Best Long Comedy.***  
**_

**Satin and Lace**

**Chapter 1-The Proposal**

Hogan and Tiger were slowly strolling, hand-in-hand, back to her place after an enjoyable dinner at the Hofbrau, followed by a romantic stroll through a nearby park known as a 'lover's lane' by other couples. Hogan, smartly dressed in a Luftwaffe captain's uniform, and Tiger in her best finery. They had made a handsome couple, and Hogan was amused at the number of people who stopped to stare at Tiger. He knew she was a stunningly beautiful woman that could attract any man, and she was his and only his. _Eat your heart out, _he told himself whenever he noticed someone staring at her.

Having reached the front steps of her small flat, Hogan walked her up the steps and waited as she rummaged through her purse for her keys. He knew he really should be heading back to Stalag 13, but first there was something he had to do. Something he been planning for weeks; and if he didn't do it tonight he just might lose his nerve. He rubbed the back of his damp neck. He was sweating profusely like a nervous teenager about to ask mom and dad if he could borrow the keys to the family car. _It can't be this difficult, can it?_

Tiger, looking over her shoulder as she unlocked her door sensed his nervousness. "You wish to come inside, mon amour?" she asked in that silky voice he loved to hear. She opened her door.

"I have a few minutes before I have to leave," he said with a grin. "Besides, there's something I have to discuss with you." He followed her inside the building and inside her tiny apartment. The minute the door was closed, he took her in his arms and kissed her passionately. Pulling away from her, he took her hand and led her to the sofa and sat her down. He could feel his shirt sticking to him beneath his uniform as he sat beside her holding both her hands in his. He didn't perspire this much when he had a dangerous mission.

Puzzled, Tiger looked at Hogan, sensed something was amiss and was becoming worried. She looked into his eyes. "What is wrong, Robert? You're frightening me. Please. Whatever it is we'll handle it together. Just tell me."

Hogan, letting out a sigh, got to his feet and moved the coffee table out of the way. Then, holding onto Tiger's hands, got down on one knee and gazed into her brown eyes. "Tiger, I mean Marie, neither one of us knows what will happen in this war. We're both in a dangerous business and have no control over what the future may hold, and I don't want to chance it by waiting. Marie, will you marry me?"

For the first time since he had known her, Tiger was speechless. Pulling her hands from his she covered her mouth as her eyes glistened with tears. She suddenly launched herself into Hogan's arms smothering his face with kisses as she hugged him tightly. "Oui, Robert. Oui. I would be honored to be your wife." They kissed passionately and Hogan could feel his body responding to her closeness. More than anything at this moment, he wanted to feel her body against his, flesh on flesh; to be inside her and make mad, passionate love to her to celebrate. But sadly, he knew time was not on his side right now. They pulled apart, both breathless, excited, and smiling.

"I just wish I had a ring to give you," Hogan said sadly. "It would make it official."

Tiger's eyes suddenly sparkled. "Wait here, mon amour," she said excitedly jumping up and running into her bedroom. Waiting for her return, Hogan sat back down on the sofa. _Wait until the guys back at camp hear about this._ His thoughts were interrupted by Tiger's return. She held a small rectangular box in her hands. "We can use these. They belonged to my grandparents. Open it." She handed Hogan the box. Opening it, Hogan's breath caught in his throat when his eyes saw the rings inside. The man's ring was a solid gold band with a single diamond in the center. The woman's wedding ring was also a solid gold band but had four small diamonds; the engagement ring had a single diamond on the center with two small diamond baguettes one on each side.

"They're beautiful, Tiger. Just like you," Hogan exclaimed, as he removed the engagement ring from the box. Taking her hand, he slid the engagement ring onto her ring finger, then kissed her hand. He checked his watch. "I wish I could stay a bit longer and celebrate our engagement, but I'll barely make it back to camp in time for morning roll call if I don't leave now." He nodded to the box sitting on the table. "You'd best keep those here. It'd be risky keeping your grandparents' wedding rings in camp."

Tiger looked at Hogan seductively as she nuzzled his neck. "Are you sure you can't stay just a little while longer my love?" she said demurely as she continued kissing him.

"I wish I could," Hogan replied. He could feel his resolve weakening. _Oh boy do I wish I could. Rob, you're gonna need a cold shower when you get back to camp._ He pulled away and sighed. "Do you want to select a date now or would you want to think it over and decide later?" he asked her.

Tiger tilted her head to the side as her eyes twinkled mischievously. "Today is the last day of June. I don't want to wait too long. Why don't we tie the knot July 13th. It was the day my grandparents were wed."

"You sure?"

"Positive. It's the perfect day." She glanced at her watch. "But you'd better leave now or you'll never get back to camp in time for roll call."

"I really hate to leave."

"And I hate for you to leave. But it wouldn't do for you to be discovered missing from the camp. Besides, you have obligations to your men to be there for them."

"I also have an obligation to you. But you're right. If I don't leave now I'll never leave." Kissing her passionately one final time, Hogan got to his feet and headed quickly to the door with Tiger following. Opening the door, Hogan paused in the doorway and gave his fiancee a quick peck on the lips. "We'll meet again as soon as I can get away," he promised, and was gone.

Closing the door quietly, Tiger leaned her back against it admiring the ring on her hand. Then, with a smile, she clutched her hand to her heart as tears of happiness rolled down her cheeks.

* * *

The barracks were dark with the sounds of men snoring except for four bunks that were empty; they belonged to Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk. They could never sleep when Colonel Hogan was out alone, even if it was on a date with Tiger as he was tonight. They were always worried until the colonel was safely back in camp; only then could they relax.

Kinch, sitting at his radio checked his watch. "Colonel should've been back ten minutes ago," he said, worried.

Newkirk, who had been pacing nervously, rubbed the back of his neck with one hand while his other was stuffed in his pants pocket. "Let's not worry just yet, mate," he answered. "It's only ten minutes. I mean, this _is_ Tiger we're talkin' about."

Just then they heard a sound in another part of the tunnel and a slight breeze entered the radio room. A few short minutes later Colonel Hogan appeared with a smile on his face.

"Welcome back, mon Colonel," LeBeau said. "We were beginning to get worried."

"What for?" Hogan replied unbuttoning his Luftwaffe jacket and handing it and the cap to Carter. "I said I'd be back before roll call."

"Did you have a good time on your date, Colonel?" asked Carter sheepishly.

"Carter!" Newkirk punched his friend in the arm. "You know a gentleman doesn't talk about those things." He rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"As a matter of fact, Newkirk, there is some news I need to share with you guys," Hogan said heading towards the changing room with the others trailing behind him. They waited just outside the changing room while Hogan changed back into his regular uniform.

"Something wrong, sir?" asked Newkirk, concerned. "Is Tiger all right?"

"She's fine," Hogan said.

"Did you run into trouble on the way back here, Colonel?" asked Kinch.

"Nope. Didn't run into a single Kraut patrol coming or going." Hogan suddenly reappeared holding his crush cap in his hand. He relieved Carter of the Luftwaffe jacket and cap and tossed them onto the bench in the changing room and then rejoined his men, placing his crush cap on his head, pushing it back. It was obvious from his expression, that he had news he couldn't wait to share. Hogan walked back to the radio room and sat down at the table. He looked at each of his men for a long minute.

"Well, are you gonna keep the ruddy news to yourself or what?" asked a frustrated Newkirk. "You're got us all on pins and needles here."

Hogan let out a deep breath. "I asked Tiger to marry me tonight and she said yes," he announced.

The men, as one, all hurried forward and either shook the colonel's hand or patted him on the back. They were extremely thrilled for their commander.

"Have you chosen a day yet, Colonel?" asked LeBeau, already making plans for the cake he would bake for the occasion.

"Yeah, we have. Tiger has chosen July 13th. That was the day her grandparents were married and it has sentimental meaning for her. So, that will be the date."

"But that's only two weeks, Colonel," said a frantic Frenchman. "There is so much to be done."

Hogan held up a hand. "C'mon, guys. We don't want anything fancy. A simple ceremony is all we really need with a few of our close friends in attendance. That'll be enough. This _is_ a prisoner-of-war camp, remember."

"Nonetheless, Colonel. This is a day you and Tiger should remember all your lives and a simple ceremony will not do. The two of you should have something special despite this being a POW camp. Leave everything to us. You will have a wedding that you will remember. All you and Tiger have to do is show up." LeBeau looked around at the others and saw them all nod in agreement. He then looked back at Hogan. "Arranging everything will be our wedding gift to both of you."

Hogan's eyes misted over and he grinned, shaking his head. "If you guys want to do this for us that badly go ahead. But don't go overboard. Remember, the ceremony's taking place here in the tunnel. It's the only safe place."

"Understood, Colonel," LeBeau agreed. "Now, is there anyone in particular you want invited?"

"Tiger and I didn't discuss it. But I do have one request. Kinch, as my second-in-command, would you do me the honor of being my best man?"

Kinch's face broke out in a wide smile. "Colonel, it would be my honor."

Newkirk suddenly had a thought. "What about rings, Gov'nor. You'll need wedding rings for both of you."

"That's no problem. Tiger is now wearing her grandmother's engagement ring; and she's holding her grandparents' wedding rings for us. Thought it would be safer with her than keeping them here." Hogan suddenly stretched and failed at stifling a yawn. "I don't know about you guys but I'm beat. And we've got roll call soon. We need to get some sleep. So, I'll say goodnight."

"Goodnight?" LeBeau asked incredulously. "How can you even think of sleep after this. There are so many things to do; so many things to be done still."

"So you fellas better get cracking," Hogan said with a smirk as he got up and headed out of the radio room. "After all, LeBeau, you said you and the others wanted to make all the arrangements as a wedding gift." Hogan disappeared from the room leaving his team behind.

Newkirk suddenly punched LeBeau in the arm. "Thanks a lot mate," he said sarcastically. "And other than cooking, what the ruddy hell do you know about weddings?"

"How difficult can it be?" LeBeau responded rubbing his arm. "There's a bride, a groom, food, guests, gifts, a minister. It'll be simple and fun."

"Fun?" asked Carter wide-eyed. "Sounds like a lotta work to me. Besides, how are we gonna do all this preparation without Klink or Schultz getting suspicious?"

"You read my curious mind," Newkirk said.

"Leave everything to me," LeBeau explained. "Besides, this is for Colonel Hogan and Tiger. Everything must be perfect."

"I sure hope you know what you're doin', LeBeau," Kinch added. "Two weeks is not a lot of time."

"Don't worry," the Frenchman said calmly. "I know all about weddings. I am French. I assure you everything will be fine."

Newkirk shook his head. "Why does that statement not make me feel any comfort?"

"Because you have no faith, Pierre. But you will see. Everything will work out."

"You're right about one thing, mate. We'll see is exactly right."


	2. Chapter 2The Best Kept Secrets

**Chapter 2-The Best Kept Secrets**

"Roll caaaaaaaaall! Everybody up for roll caaaaaaaaaaaaall!" Schultz bellowed as he opened the door to barracks two and entered. He slapped the side of Newkirk's upper bunk startling the Englander awake. "All prisoners outside for roll caaaaaaaaall! Raus! Everybody raus!"

Newkirk rubbed his bleary eyes. "Why don't you come back in the mornin', Schultzie?" he asked, yawning.

Schultz chuckled as he walked through the barracks waking the other prisoners who were just as tardy waking up. "It is morning," he remarked not looking at Newkirk.

"I meant tomorrow mornin'."

Schultz walked over to Newkirk as the other prisoners started to move about. "If you didn't spend so much time with monkey business you wouldn't be so tired."

Newkirk gave his best innocent, wide-eyed look. "Monkey business, Schultzie? What monkey business might that be?"

Before Schultz could respond, Carter, who was sitting up on the bunk below Newkirk's, looked up at the obese guard with a wide grin. "No monkey business, Schultz. Just making arrangements for Colonel Hogan's….."

"Carter!" Newkirk shouted interrupting before the young sergeant spilled the beans.

With a suspicious look, Schultz's eyes shifted from one to the other. "For Colonel Hogan's what? There is something going on here; some monkey business. I insist you tell me what arrangements you're making for Colonel Hogan. That's an order."

LeBeau, now fully dressed and having heard the conversation, walked over and patted Schultz's large stomach. "We're making arrangements to celebrate the day Colonel Hogan came to Stalag 13 two weeks from now."

Schultz appeared puzzled. "But Colonel Hogan didn't come here until November," he replied. "This is only July first. There is something suspicious going on here."

By now Newkirk had hopped down from his bunk. He rolled his eyes in exasperation. He put an arm around the guard's shoulders. "We're having the celebration in two weeks because the war could be over in November and we very well couldn't have it then, now could we?"

"No," Schultz replied, more confused than before. "But…"

LeBeau and Newkirk pushed Schultz towards the open barracks door. "See, this way he'll remember it when the liberation comes," LeBeau struggled to get out. "Now wait outside so we can get ready for roll call."

Schultz shrugged his shoulders as he headed out the door. He looked back at the men. "Tell Colonel Hogan happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary for what, Schultz?" asked Hogan joining the conversation. Before the guard could respond, LeBeau and Newkirk closed the door. Newkirk and LeBeau gave Carter a look.

"We told the ole barrage balloon we were celebrating the anniversary of you coming here because Carter almost spilled the news," Newkirk explained.

"I'm sorry," Carter said. "I just got carried away with excitement."

Hogan sighed. "Carter, right now we are the only ones to know. I'll decide if anybody else will know." He looked at LeBeau and Newkirk. "That was quick thinking you two. Now hurry up and get ready for roll call."

* * *

The prisoners lined up for formation in the early morning warm weather. Schultz just finished counting when the loud voice of Kommandant Wilhelm Klink shattered the early morning air.

"Schuuuuuuultz, repooooooooooooooort!" Klink demanded.

Turning, Schultz saluted his commanding officer who returned the salute. "Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for."

"Very good, Schultz. You may dismiss your men." He started to leave.

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. Oh, Herr Kommandant, aren't you going to wish Colonel Hogan happy anniversary?"

Klink, mystified, stared at his sergeant. "Happy anniversary for what?"

"In two weeks he will have been here…." Schultz began counting on his fingers.

Klink sighed wearily. "Dummkopf! Colonel Hogan came to Stalag 13 in November. Why would the prisoners be celebrating his anniversary in July?"

"In case the liberation comes before November, sir," Newkirk said. "Wouldn't do much good celebratin' the Gov'nor's anniversary when we're not here now would it?" There were snickers and chuckles from the other prisoners.

Hogan, thumbs hooked in his jacket pockets, was bouncing on the balls of his feet and enjoying the exchange between his men and the Kommandant. He wore a smirk on his face. _If you only knew, Kommandant._

Klink marched straight up to his American counterpart and stood toe-to-toe with him. "Hogan, I know you better than you think. You're up to something."

Hogan gave the Kommandant his best innocent 'who me?' look. "Sir, I'm hurt. How could you even _think_ I could get something past that sharp and cunning German mind of yours?"

"You couldn't," Klink agreed. "But I'll be watching you anyway just in case. Disssmissed!" He turned abruptly and stormed away back to the Kommandantur.

Schultz faced the prisoners. "Prisoners, disss-missed!"

As the prisoners walked into the barracks, LeBeau promptly wrapped an apron around his waist and began to prepare breakfast. The coffee was already hot having been started before they went outside for roll call. He poured cups of coffee for Hogan, Carter, Kinch and Newkirk before starting breakfast.

Kinch removed a small notebook and pen from his inside pocket. "First things first, Colonel. Is there anybody special you want in attendance?"

Hogan tapped the side of his coffee mug as he thought over the question. "You guys of course, Olsen, Baker and Wilson. We can't have a large crowd in the tunnels. Too risky."

Kinch scribbled down the names Hogan had given. "What about Tiger?"

"She doesn't have any family here and those in France are either missing or dead. But I'll ask her first chance I get."

"She should have someone walk her down the aisle, mon Colonel," LeBeau said over his shoulder.

"She would if we were being married in a church but since we're not…."

"Yes, she will, sir," Kinch said with a sudden wide grin. "And I know exactly who it should be. It'll also take care of two other problems as well."

"Who?" Hogan asked, curious now himself.

"Bluebird," Kinch replied. "He can walk Tiger down the aisle, his wife Lilly can be Tiger's matron of honor and perhaps their son David can be the ring bearer."

"Perfect!" LeBeau said looking around at the radioman with a grin.

"I like it, Kinch," Hogan said with a smile. "But you'd better check with Bluebird and make sure he's available on July 13th before you pencil him in."

Kinch finished making his notes. "I'll contact him after breakfast," he said looking at his watch. He flipped the notebook closed and put it and the pen back in his pocket.

"Boy, Colonel, you're gonna have the best wedding ever!" Carter announced. Newkirk kicked him under the table. "Oww!"

"Carter, shut you big mouth," the Englander whispered with narrowed eyes.

"Wedding?" said Olsen who was pouring himself a cup of coffee. He approached the group at the table who suddenly became quiet. "You're getting married, Colonel?"

Hogan looked around at his men. "So much for keeping secrets," he murmured. He looked at Olsen. "I asked Tiger and she said yes. We're getting married on July 13th."

A broad smile broke out on Olsen's face as he patted his commander on the back. "Congratulations, Colonel!" he said before turning around looking at the other prisoners. "Hey guys, Colonel Hogan and Tiger are tying the knot the 13th of the month!"

Next thing Hogan knew prisoners were gathered around him slapping him on the back congratulating him or shaking his hand. Hogan accepted their congratulations and best wishes happily. Then he stood up, held up his hands, and asked for quiet.

"First, I want to thank all of you for your best wishes. Second, I ask that this news remain in this barracks and for nobody else to know. It's important that it be that way."

"Why, sir?" asked Baker. "The guys in the other barracks will be thrilled for you and Tiger."

"Two reasons," Hogan explained. "First being that the more people who know the greater the chances are that the Germans will find out. And two, while I'm certain the other prisoners will be happy, there could still be some animosity or even jealousy among them because my getting married will remind them of what they don't have. So again I ask that this news stay in this barracks between the fifteen of us."

"We'll do as you ask, Colonel," Baker said. "The news won't leave this barracks."

"Hey, Colonel," Sergeant Garlotti said. "We gotta give you a bachelor party before you walk that last mile as a free man." There was laughter among the men; even Hogan joined in the laughter.

"I'm getting married, Garlotti, not buried," he said. "Besides, Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk are handling the wedding arrangements as their gift to Tiger and I."

Baker smiled. "Then let the rest of us as our gift to you throw you a bachelor party. We promise, sir, the Germans won't suspect a thing."

Amused, Hogan shook his head and wrapped his arms around himself. "Who am I to deny you guys a party?" The other prisoners cheered and then went back to their side of the room and began making plans while Hogan sat back down at the table. He smirked as he took a drink of coffee. "What is it they say about the best laid plans?" he asked.

"They go astray, sir, if you tell 'em to Carter," said Newkirk with a roll of his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it. This is the biggest thing to happen here and I got carried away."

"I wish your mouth would get carried away," Newkirk said.

"Okay, knock it off," said Hogan. "It's not Carter's fault. The news was bound to get out somehow anyway. The main thing now is to keep it in this barracks among only us. If I find out somebody talked, there's gonna be hell to pay."

* * *

After breakfast, Kinch and Newkirk went below into the tunnel to the radio room. Kinch adjusted the headset and switched the frequency to a different one. "Papa Bear to Bluebird. Papa Bear to Bluebird. Come in Bluebird."

"This is Bluebird. Go ahead Papa Bear," said the voice of Fritz Fuchs, a Captain in the Gestapo and second-in-command to Major Wolfgang Hochstetter. Fuchs walked a fine line besides being Hochstetter's right hand man. He was also a close friend of Colonel Hogan and a member of the underground.

"Bluebird, Papa Bear needs to know if you're free on July 13th?"

"Let me check my schedule." After a few minutes Fuchs returned. "I am off that day. Was ist los?"

"Papa Bear is taking a Mama Bear. Would like for you to walk future Mrs. Papa Bear down the aisle. Also requests that Mrs. Bluebird be matron of honor for future Mrs. Papa Bear and baby bluebird be ring bearer. Can you make it?"

"We would be delighted to attend. What time is nuptials?"

"We'll get back to you with that, Bluebird."

"Fine. Give Papa Bear my congratulations."

"Will do, Bluebird. Papa Bear out." Kinch switched the frequency back to their regular one before removing his headset. "Well, Bluebird's on board," he said with a grin. A moment later, his grin disappeared. "Newkirk, I hope you and the others aren't upset the colonel asked me to be his best man."

Newkirk slapped Kinch on the back. "Kinch, I would've been shocked if the Gov'nor hadn't asked you. You should be his best man. I'm sure LeBeau and Carter feel the same."

Kinch got up. "Let's get back upstairs," he said. They headed in the direction of the ladder leading to the barracks when they suddenly heard voices and Hogan's name. Kinch put a hand on Newkirk's shoulder stopping him so they could listen.

"So, what d'you think of the colonel marryin' this Tiger?" one of the voices belonged to Garlotti.

"I don't have a problem with it," said Simmons, a corporal. "Why? Do you?"

Garlotti chuckled. "Y'know, the colonel probably got her knocked up and has to marry 'er. Never could control his hormones."

Both men froze when Newkirk and Kinch suddenly appeared; their faces indicating they had overheard.

"I suggest you watch your mouth, Sergeant," Kinch told Garlotti coldly. "Colonel Hogan isn't like that and neither is Tiger and you know it."

"I don't know anything of the sort," Garlotti snapped. "And neither do you. You know how he likes the ladies. Wouldn't surprise me in the least if he got one knocked up and…." He never got to finish his sentence as Newkirk's fist connected with Garlotti's jaw propelling him against the dirt wall. The sergeant massaged his jaw and stared daggers at the Englander. But then his eyes met those of Kinch whose reputation as a former Golden Gloves boxer was well known throughout camp.

"I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself," Kinch ordered coldly. "We will not have you ruining what is the happiest time for Colonel Hogan by spreading vicious lies and innuendos about him and Tiger. He's marrying her because he loves her very much and she loves him. I won't have you making something dirty out of what they have. Do we understand each other?"

Garlotti continued massaging his jaw. "You could've broken my jaw, Newkirk," he said.

Kinch smirked. "You're lucky I didn't hit you. Your jaw would've been broken."

Garlotti saw the look in Kinch's eyes and nodded. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean any harm."

"Y'know, Garlotti, if you still want to help arrange the Gov'nor's bachelor party, that would be fine," said Newkirk coolly. "But if you can't keep your opinions to yourself I suggest you convince Olsen or Baker to do it. Understand, mate?"

Looking again at Kinch, Garlotti nodded. "I'd like to do it. And I give you my word."

"That's a good lad," said Newkirk with a smile.

* * *

In another part of the tunnel near where the men were talking, Hogan stood quietly listening. He had heard everything Simmons and Garlotti had said and it not only hurt him deeply, but made him angry. He was about to approach the two men and give them a piece of his mind when he heard Newkirk and Kinch, and a smile appeared on his face, impressed by how they had handled the situation. But he then sighed as he realized Garlotti's statement reminded him he and Tiger would have to wait until after the war before even considering having children and that knowledge saddened him a bit. But with luck the war would soon be over and they could start a family. So instead of approaching the men, Hogan decided it was better if they never knew he was there. He turned and headed back in the direction from which he had just come.


	3. Chapter 3Preparations and More Prepar

**Chapter 3-Preparations And More Preparations**

Newkirk, Kinch, Carter and LeBeau were seated at the table sipping coffee in the common room hours after the others, including the Colonel, had gone to bed. Neither Kinch or Newkirk made any mention of the conversation with Simmons and Garlotti in the tunnel; and none of them suspected that the Colonel had overheard.

"So we have Bluebird to walk Tiger down the aisle, his wife Lilli as Tiger's Matron-of-Honor, and their son David as the ring-bearer," LeBeau said excitedly. "We just have to let Bluebird know what time the wedding will be. Now we need to figure out how many people the Colonel and Tiger want to attend exactly. This way, I will know how many to cook for."

"Don't you remember what the Gov'nor said," Newkirk reminded him. "He didn't want a lot of people invited because the wedding was gonna be held in the tunnels. And we already got twelve people including the Colonel and Tiger."

"Thirteen," chimed in Carter. "Or did you guys forget we also need a minister. I mean, I know the Colonel can marry people, but he sure can't perform his own wedding ceremony."

"Sacre chats," LeBeau muttered. "Andre's right. We forgot about a minister."

"We?" asked Newkirk with raised eyebrows. "What d'ya mean 'we'? You're the one puttin' this bleedin' thing together."

"Correction, mon ami," LeBeau replied with a smile. "_We_ are putting this thing together. It is _all_ of us together."

Kinch, who had been keeping notes on everything, looked up at the others. "I just remembered something. Don't we have a minister in one of the other barracks? Sergeant Wilkerson I think his name is. At least he was a minister before the war."

"I think you're right, mate" Newkirk said. "But how do we explain having a minister coming to the barracks. There are gonna be questions asked."

Kinch scratched his chin in thought. A sudden grin appeared. "I think I have an idea." Seeing the others looking at him with expectation, he went on to explain. "We could always say we rescued some downed flyers and one of them asked to be counseled by a minister."

"Parfait!" LeBeau explained happily. "Kinch, since it was your idea, you can talk with Sergeant Wilkerson." (1)

"Consider it done. I'll do it tomorrow." Kinch wrote down the Sergeant's name. "We also need to see if there is anybody special Tiger might want to invite."

Carter started to laugh for no apparent reason.

"And what's so bleedin' funny, Andrew?" Newkirk asked rolling his eyes in exasperation.

"I was just thinkin' about the time we crammed thirty people into the tunnels." (2)

Newkirk shook his head. "You're balmy, Andrew, if you think the Colonel's gonna want that many people attending his wedding. He said to keep it small."

Carter smirked. "I know. I just thought it'd be funny is all."

"Yeah, well, it won't be funny if things get outta hand and the Gov'nor finds out. So let's not even go there all right?"

"Let's see now," LeBeau said as he counted on his fingers. "We still need to arrange a menu; I have to make the cake; we need to see who Tiger wants to invite; Kinch needs to talk with the minister. Oh, we need to tell Wilson that the Colonel wants him to attend and invite Olsen and Baker."

"We also need to decorate rooms in the tunnel for the ceremony and the reception," Carter reminded them. Kinch wrote them down also.

"That should cover everything," LeBeau finally said.

"Uh, not quite," Kinch said looking over the list.

"What else is there, mon ami?" asked the little Frenchman.

"Well," said Kinch. "You haven't explained to us how we're gonna keep preparing this food and making the cake from being found out by Klink and Schultz."

Newkirk sighed. "He's right, mate. You know how ole Schultzie is when you're cooking or baking something. His nose is like a bloody radar."

LeBeau shrugged. "Well, we already told both of them we are celebrating the Colonel's anniversary of when he came to Stalag 13, so, we'll stick with that." He let out a deep breath. "Now, is there anything else we've overlooked?"

Again it was Carter who chuckled.

Newkirk was now becoming annoyed. "What are you cackling 'bout now?"

"Well, with all these preparations we're making, did it occur to anyone to ask where Colonel Hogan and Tiger are going to spend their wedding night? I mean, they can't exactly check into the Hauserhoff hotel."

Newkirk massaged his forehead. "Blimey, he's right," he agreed. "We need to have somewhere for them to spend their wedding night."

"And music!" Carter added. "Can't have a wedding without music!"

"Or champagne," Kinch added.

"Cor," said Newkirk with a weary sigh. "This entire thing's becoming more and more involved." He looked across the table at the Frenchman. "LeBeau, the next time you volunteer us for something, remind me to punch you in the nose beforehand."

"Ha ha," LeBeau replied sarcastically.

Kinch looked at his watch. "I suggest we get some sleep. Roll call's in about five hours, and we have a lot to do tomorrow."

* * *

"Roll caaaaaaaaall! All prisoners outside for roll call! Schnell! Everybody up and outside," Schultz bellowed entering the barracks slapping on the sides of bunks when prisoners didn't awaken.

With his bunk being the first to be hit by the obese guard, Newkirk leaned on one elbow and rubbed his eyes with his other hand. "Schultzie, why don't you just count heads and tell ole Klink we're all here? I need me beauty sleep."

Schultz chuckled. "If you fellas weren't so busy with monkey business you wouldn't be so tired."

"Monkey business, Schultz?" asked Carter sitting up with his feet on the floor. "What monkey business?"

"What monkey business. Jolly jokers."

"C'mon, Schultzie," Kinch said. "You know we're making plans for Colonel Hogan's anniversary at Stalag 13. We're gonna have a big shindig. Plenty of food and drinks. LeBeau's gonna make a cake."

Schultz perked up. "Cake? What kind of cake?" he asked.

LeBeau smiled. "What kind of cake would you like, Schultzie?"

Schultz thought for a long moment. "How about a chocolate cake?"

"Hmmm," said LeBeau patting the obese guard's stomach with a chuckle. "I don't know if Colonel Hogan wants chocolate cake. Besides, since when did you get so picky about cake?"

"Whatever kind of cake you bake will be wunderbar!" Schultz exclaimed with a smile. Suddenly, he became serious. "Wait a minute. You said drinks. Where are you going to get liquor? No, wait," he held up a hand before anybody could respond. "Don't tell me. I know nothing. Noth-ing. Now, everybody outside! Raus! Everybody!" He walked out of the barracks to wait outside. As he did, Hogan emerged from his quarters zipping up his jacket, crush cap in his hand.

"Did I just hear Schultz?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," said Newkirk putting his cover on his head. "You heard the ole barrage balloon bellowing."

Hogan put his crush cap on his head and pushed it back. "Then we'd better not keep the old boy waiting." He opened the door and exited into the early morning air with the others behind him. They quickly fell into two lines in formation.

Schultz quickly walked past each prisoner. "Einer, zwei, drei, vier, funf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun…" But when he got to the tenth man, Newkirk and LeBeau began counting from one messing up his count. Hogan and Kinch had grins on their faces knowing how much LeBeau and Newkirk enjoyed messing up the guard's count.

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute!" Schultz bellowed having been counting on his fingers as well. "I have to start all over again!" He went back to the first man in line. "Einer, zwei, drei, vier, funf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun, zehn…." Getting to the eleventh man, Newkirk and LeBeau began counting aloud again from one again messing up Schultz's count even though he was still using his fingers. "Wait a min-ute!" he screamed.

"Schultz, just take my word for it," said Hogan in a soft voice with a lopsided grin. "Everybody's here."

"Colonel Hogan, tell your men to stop messing up my count. I have to make sure each prisoner is present." He whined as he started to turn when Hogan called out to him.

"You'd better hurry up then, Schultz 'cause here comes Klink," Hogan added, still grinning. Wide-eyed, Schultz turned around, swallowing the lump in his throat and hastily saluted.

"Schuuuuuuultz, repooooooort!" Klink hollered as he approached. Having not finished his count and exasperated, Schultz spoke nervously. "Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for." The obese guard hoped he was right and nobody was missing or he'd be seeing snowflakes falling which was a certain thing at the Russian front.

Klink looked up and down the two rows of prisoners with his eyes finally landing on his Senior POW officer.

"Colonel Hogan, I would appreciate you reporting to my office in one hour."

Hogan grinned. "Your wish is my command, Kommandant."

"Good. Schultz, dismiss your men." He saluted.

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant," Schultz said, saluting, and grateful the Kommandant had not so far noticed his nervousness. Klink returned the salute before turning and marching back to the office. Schultz turned to the prisoners. "Prisoners, diss-missed!"

Walking back inside the barracks, Hogan perched one foot on the bench and balanced on the opposite leg. He rested both arms on his thigh. He waited until Kinch, Carter and Newkirk were seated at the table; LeBeau, tying an apron around his waist, went about preparing breakfast.

"What do you think old Blood 'n Guts wants, mon Colonel?" asked LeBeau as he filled the coffee pot with water.

"With Klink who knows," said Hogan. "Since yesterday he's been suspicious we're up to something. So my guess is he's probably on his typical fishing expedition."

Kinch took his notebook and pen from his inner jacket pocket. "Colonel, just to keep you up to date on the arrangements for your wedding, we're gonna have Sergeant Wilkerson from barracks five perform the ceremony. The cover story will be we've rescued some downed flyers and one of them asked to be counseled by a minister. We're gonna talk to Wilson as well and have the others believe he's treating one of the rescued flyers who was injured. That should keep anybody from asking any questions."

Hogan shook his head as an amused grin appeared. "You guys are turning into pretty good fibbers."

Carter gave a lopsided grin. "We learned from the best, boy. I mean, sir."

"We do have two questions, Colonel," said Kinch.

"Go ahead. Shoot," said Hogan.

"Well, first, what time should the wedding be? I mean, we were thinking after evening roll call. But it's up to you and Tiger."

Hogan massaged his jaw. "Well, let's see. Because our time isn't as flexible as Tiger's, I think after evening roll call would be fine. What's the other question?"

"With you and Tiger, that makes thirteen people at the wedding. What about Tiger? Perhaps there's somebody in the underground she might want to attend?"

"Hmmm. I know we discussed this somewhat yesterday, but I'll ask Tiger to come here either tonight or tomorrow night and you can ask her yourselves. I don't want to speak for her."

"Sounds good to us, Colonel," said Kinch with a smile as he wrote in his notebook.

"Sounds like you guys have everything under control," Hogan said. "And I just want you to know again how much Tiger and I appreciate what you're doing for us."

"It is our pleasure, mon Colonel."

Just then Olsen approached the small group. "Colonel, we just want you to know we're gonna hold your bachelor party on July 6th after evening roll call. This way you'll have plenty of time to recuperate from the alcohol."

"Alcohol? Where are you getting alcohol from? No, wait. Don't tell me. I don't want to know." Hogan then looked at his watch and sighed. "I'd better get to Klink's office and see what our fearless leader wants." Standing with both feet on the floor, the Colonel walked towards the door and left the barracks. Once the Colonel had left, Kinch looked up at Olsen.

"Olsen, sounds like you guys have the bachelor party pretty much set up," said Kinch.

"Not really. We still have to have food and liquor. Newkirk, we'll also need your card deck for gin, blackjack and poker." Sergeant Baker slowly approached the group.

"How are you guys doing with the wedding plans?" he asked.

"It's a lot of bloody work," Newkirk said lighting a cigarette. "I don't work this hard on a mission."

"Before we forget," LeBeau said turning away from the potbelly stove. "The Colonel wants both of you to attend the wedding. The time is after evening roll call on the 13th."

Baker and Olsen looked at each other with grins. "We'll be there," Baker said.

LeBeau turned toward Carter. "Breakfast will not be ready for awhile. Why don't you go get Wilson and bring him here. Kinch can go to barracks five and get Sergeant Wilkerson. But don't either of you tell them anything until they are here."

Tucking his small notebook inside his jacket, Kinch and Carter both got to their feet and left the barracks together on their separate missions. LeBeau glanced at Newkirk and nodded before turning back to preparing breakfast. The Englander stood up.

"Can I have everybody's attention for a minute," he requested. Immediately the other prisoners stopped what they were doing and gave Newkirk their undivided attention. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. "Thanks mates. Now, Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and I were discussing this last night and we realized we need three rooms in the tunnel for the Gov'nor and Tiger; one for the wedding, one for the reception, and one for the uh, bridal suite. Now we know you mates are busy with the Gov'nor's bachelor party and all, but we also need for you to decorate the three designated areas of the tunnel. We also need to keep each of 'em blocked off with a sheet so's the Colonel can't see what's bein' done. We need volunteers for the job."

To their amazement, the hands of all the men in barracks two went up. Newkirk and LeBeau exchanged looks and smiles.

"Hey, I just had a great idea," said Baker with a big grin on his face.

"What's that, mate?" asked Newkirk.

"Remember when we built that gambling casino?" Baker asked.

"What about it?" asked the Englander, curious.

"Well, we had a red carpet outside for people to walk on before they entered. Why don't we use that same red carpet from where the bride enters up to where the Colonel will be waiting for Tiger."(3)

"Smashing idea," Newkirk exclaimed with a big smile. But don't lay that carpet down until everything else is finished. This way it won't get dirty."

"You got it," said Baker. Just then Kinch and Carter returned with Wilson and Wilkerson.

"Kinch said you wanted to see me," said Wilson, puzzled as to why he was summoned. "Is somebody sick?"

"Carter was mysterious as well," Wilkerson added.

"Nobody's sick, Joe. We wanted both of you here so we could tell you at the same time," said Kinch. "Colonel Hogan's getting married to Tiger on the 13th of the month, and Wilson, you're invited, and Sergeant Wilkerson, you are to perform the ceremony."

There was a long moment of silence as both men were speechless. Wilson suddenly had a wide smile on his face. "That's wonderful news. I must congratulate the Colonel. Where is he?"

"He's in the Kommandant's office," LeBeau said over his shoulder. "But there is something both of you should know."

"What's that?" asked Wilkerson.

"The Colonel doesn't want anybody outside of barracks two to know with the exception of both of you," said Kinch. "He feels if word was to get out to the other men it could cause problems."

"The wedding will be held after evening roll call on the 13th; and the bachelor party will be after evening roll call on the 6th," said Newkirk.

"I would be delighted to attend both gatherings," Wilson replied. "And as far as the news being kept quiet, whatever the Colonel wants."

"I would be honored to marry Colonel Hogan and Tiger. But I do have a question."

"What's that?" asked Kinch.

"If nobody else in camp is suppose to know, how are you going to explain our presence in barracks two; especially mine?"

"We have that covered," said Newkirk. "Joe, we're gonna tell anybody who asks that we need you to tend to some Allied flyers we rescued. The first time will be so you can come to the bachelor party. But you'll have to come at least two additional times so nobody gets suspicious. The final time will be for the wedding."

Kinch looked at Wilkerson. "As for you, we're gonna say that one of these rescued flyers requests counseling by a minister, so that will enable you to come to the bachelor party and the wedding."

Wilson smirked. "You guys have been hanging around the Colonel too long. Picked up some bad habits I see." That got a chuckle from the others.

"What about Klink and Schultz?" asked Wilkerson. "Do they suspect anything?"

LeBeau chuckled. "We told them we're celebrating the Colonel's anniversary at Stalag 13 on July 13th instead of November in case we're liberated before November."

Both Wilkerson and Wilson laughed out loud. Neither of them noticed Hogan entering the barracks. The Colonel grinned.

"What's so funny?" he asked. Wilson reached him first and patted Hogan on the back while at the same time Wilkerson shook the Colonel's hand. Both men congratulated their commanding officer.

"Never thought I'd see the day somebody would catch you, Colonel, much less get you to the altar," said Wilson.

"I did, Joe," said Wilkerson with a grin. "Anybody who saw the way Tiger and the Colonel looked at each other knew she would be the one. Colonel, I'm honored to marry you both."

"Thanks, Sergeant," Hogan replied. "Did the guys tell you I want this kept from the men in the other barracks?"

"Yes sir," said Wilson. "We'll both do as you request."

Hogan grinned. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

LeBeau looked over his shoulder. "Breakfast is ready, Colonel," he said. "Joe, Sergeant Wilkerson, would you care to join us? There's plenty." Both men declined and left the barracks. Hogan poured himself a cup of hot coffee and took a drink.

"What did Klink want, Gov'nor?" asked Newkirk. "Were you right about his ruddy fishing expedition?"

* * *

(1) "Parfait!" means "Perfect!"

(2) Hogan hid thirty prisoners in the tunnels in How To Escape From a Prison Camp Without Really Trying, Season three.

(3)The Big Gamble.


	4. Chapter 4A Private Little Conversatio

**Chapter 4-A Private Little Conversation**

Hogan had remained quiet for most of breakfast; but once the breakfast dishes were washed and put away, the Colonel took a drink of his coffee. "Klink needs a ten-man work detail for today," he announced, looking into the faces of his main team. "He needs one of the roads repaired."

Newkirk, Kinch, Carter and LeBeau all exchanged worried looks. They had enough to do with preparing the Colonel's wedding as did the others preparing for the bachelor party. Precious time would be taken from those plans if they had to take part in a work detail. Looking at their commanding officer, they noticed his lopsided grin as he took a drink of coffee.

"Don't worry, fellas. I'm not choosing anybody from this barracks. I know all of you have enough to do with what you're involved in. I chose from barracks eight. Unfortunately, I have to go and watch over them so I'll be gone for a few hours." Hogan wasn't sure, but he could've sworn he saw relieved looks on the faces of his team and suspected it might not just be from knowing they didn't have to participate in a work detail. But he decided to ignore it because he secretly knew they were working so hard to make everything perfect for his and Tiger's big day. "So, what are you guys gonna work on today?"

"Colonel, you know we can't let you know how things are coming along," said LeBeau. "Safe to say that you and Tiger will be really surprised and hopefully pleased with the results."

Hogan smirked. "Just knowing what you guys are doing for us comes from the heart is enough for us. And we're sure your arrangements will be wonderful." Draining the remains on his coffee, Hogan checked his watch. "I'd better get going. The work detail is leaving in less than an hour…" he got to his feet. "…so I'll say au revoir until later." Smiling, Hogan exited the barracks.

"Blimey, I thought he'd never leave," Newkirk groaned.

"I know what you mean," Carter agreed. "For a moment I thought he was gonna tell us we just volunteered for a work detail."

Newkirk glanced at his friend with a roll of his eyes figuring he'd forget about explaining that that wasn't the reason he was glad the Colonel was gone. Instead, he faced Kinch who smiled, amused.

"LeBeau, when Klink's ready for bed, I need you to drop a sleeping pill in his warm milk before Schultz brings it to 'im. After he's asleep, I want you, Carter and Newkirk to uh, relieve the Kommandant of one case of that champagne we saw delivered to him a couple of days ago. We'll hide it in the tunnel for the wedding reception in one of the other tunnels separate from the ones we're gonna use," Kinch explained.

"Just leave it to the ten magic fingers of Peter Newkirk," the Englander quipped wiggling his fingers.

"Hey Kinch," Baker said as he, Olsen and Garlotti approached. "We heard you're gonna be the Colonel's best man. You written your speech yet?"

Kinch looked up at Baker with raised eyebrows. "Speech? Oh man, I totally forgot!" He ran both hands down his face wondering where he would find the time.

LeBeau put a hand on Kinch's shoulder. "Do not worry, mon ami. I have faith in you. Just speak from your heart."

"Thanks. But I'll have to put it off until mostly everything else is done."

Garlotti turned to LeBeau. "Louie, I hate to ask you this as you and the others have so much to do preparing for the wedding."

"What do you need?" asked the Frenchman.

"We were wondering if you could make some of your homemade brew for the bachelor party."

LeBeau raised his eyes in surprise. "Certainement. But as we are going to relieve Klink of a case of champagne tonight, wouldn't it be easier to just relieve him of one or two cases of wine as well?"(1)

"Might be easier, mate," said Newkirk, "but might be riskier as well."

LeBeau faced him. "How so?"

"Well, Klink probably won't miss one case of champagne. But if we also take one or two cases of wine also, that might be pushin' things a bit."

Thinking about what Newkirk said for awhile, LeBeau agreed. "You're right, mon ami. And we'll have to borrow some of his china, wine glasses, silverware, napkins, his white linen tablecloth as well." He looked up at the two men. "Okay, I think I have enough ingredients to make my famous homemade wine. If I do, it will be ready for the bachelor party. I will also make some snacks as well."

Newkirk groaned. "Don't tell me you're gonna poison the Colonel before his wedding by making that battery acid you call wine."

"Jealous," LeBeau said with an amused grin.

The two men grinned. "Thanks, Louie," Olsen said. He then looked at Newkirk. "Newkirk, can we speak with you for a few minutes?"

"Sure." Getting up, the Englander joined Olsen and Baker who led the way to a far corner of the barracks where they could talk privately. Olsen put a hand around Newkirk's shoulders. "We need your help with something the day of the Colonel's bachelor party."

"With what?" Newkirk asked, curious as to what the men had planned.

"Well, we want to play a prank on the Colonel during his bachelor party and Baker and I are hoping you'll help us."

"A prank? What d'ya have in mind?"

Leaning closer, Olsen whispered in the Englander's ear what he and Baker wanted to do. As he listened, a slow, wide smile began to appear on Newkirk's face. He looked up.

"Blimey, that'll be lovely that will. The Gov'nor won't know what hit 'im. Count me in."

"Thanks, Newkirk." Olsen patted the Englander on the back before they returned to their own corner of the barracks to continue working on the final details for the bachelor party; Newkirk returned to the table grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"What's got you grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary?" asked Kinch.

In as few words as possible, Newkirk told the others what Baker and Olsen had in mind for a prank to be played on the Colonel at his bachelor party.

Kinch and LeBeau both smirked. "I can't wait to see the Colonel's reaction to that," LeBeau said with a chuckle.

"I don't get it," said Carter, looking confused. "That doesn't sound funny to me at all."

Newkirk let out a deep breath. "Well, I have to admit it won't be Honey Hornberg and her Stuttgart Steppers, but it's funny to us, Andrew."(2) He smirked. "I guess you won't understand until it's your turn to get married. I only hope I live long enough to see that day."

Kinch got up. "Well, since Colonel Hogan's gone for a few hours, think I'll take advantage of the time and contact Tiger. Perhaps we can find out if there's anybody she wants to invite to the wedding. That'll at least eliminate another item from the list." He walked in the direction of the double bunk in the corner of the room and struck the hidden mechanism. He watched as he waited for the lower bunk to rise and the ladder to drop.

"Watch the door, Carter," he said over his shoulder.

"Mon ami," LeBeau called out as the lower bunk rattled upward. Kinch looked over his shoulder.

"Yeah, Louie?" he asked.

"When you speak with Tiger, ask her if she has something appropriate to wear for her wedding. If she does not, tell her to come here and see me but not to let the Colonel know why she is coming." As Kinch disappeared down ladder into the tunnel below, LeBeau turned his attention to Newkirk and grinned cunningly. Newkirk, immediately seeing the Frenchman's expression, shifted in his seat and adamantly shook his head.

"Oh no. No sir. No siree. I know that look, LeBeau, and if you're thinkin' what I think you're thinkin', the answer's no."

LeBeau feigned innocence. "How do you know what I'm thinking?" He folded his arms.

"Because you had that same look on your face when you wanted me to sew that wedding gown for Burkhalter's niece. And the answer is still no."(3)

"C'mon, Newkirk. Be reasonable," said LeBeau. "A wedding dress is not something a girl has hanging in the closet."

"I am being reasonable, monsieur LeBeau, and me answer is still no." Newkirk removed a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, removed one and stuck it between his lips and lit it with his lighter. He put the pack of smokes back in his pocket.(4)

Just then, Kinch reappeared from below. Slapping the hidden mechanism, he walked over to the table while the ladder rose and the lower bunk dropped down. He was grinning from ear-to-ear as he sat down.

"Did you speak with Tiger, mon ami?" asked the Frenchman, still grinning while Newkirk was still scowling.

"I did. First, I told her as our wedding gift to her and the Colonel we're handling all the arrangements. She says to tell everybody merci. As far as who she would like from the underground to attend, she could only think of two people. Oskar Schnitzer and his wife. I told her the wedding would take place after evening roll call on the 13th and she says she will talk with the Schnitzers so we won't have to."

"Did you remember to ask her about what she has to wear for the nuptials?" LeBeau asked.

"Yeah." Kinch said with a smirk at Newkirk who rolled his eyes. She said she really doesn't have anything appropriate and was going to try and put something together. I told her what you said and she said she'd be here tomorrow at 2100 hours on the premise she wanted to see us in person and thank us for making all the arrangements. She asks that one of us meet her. She'll come in Schnitzer's dog truck tomorrow night. Her cover story will be she thanked us over the radio, but felt that was inadequate and decided to come in person and thank us. She added a second merci especially to you, LeBeau." Both Kinch and LeBeau heard Newkirk groan.

"C'mon Pierre, it'll be fun."

"Fun? You think making another wedding gown will be fun? It wasn't you who had to do all that bloody sewing when _we, _and I use the word we loosely, made that gown for Burkhalter's niece."(5)

LeBeau smiled innocently. "Well, look at the bright side."

"What bloody bright side?"

"We'll only need half as much material for Tiger," LeBeau added as he walked in the direction of the double bunk. He could feel the Englander's eyes on his retreating back.

"And just where the bloody hell are you going now, monsieur LeBeau?" Newkirk asked sarcastically.

As the lower bunk rattled upward, LeBeau glanced back. "I am going to start preparing my fabulous homemade wine for the Colonel's bachelor's party. He climbed over the lower bed frame and onto the ladder. He soon disappeared from view.

"Oh this is just ruddy wonderful," Newkirk groaned massaging his forehead with his fingertips.

"What is?" asked Carter looking back from the doorway where he was keeping watch.

"The Colonel's gonna be poisoned from LeBeau's homemade battery acid and it won't matter what Tiger wears at the wedding because by the time the 13th gets here, he'll still be too tight to see what she's wearin'."

Carter grinned like a child. "Well, maybe the practical joke you, Baker and Olsen are gonna play on Colonel Hogan will sober him up in time."

Having poured himself a cup of coffee, Kinch sat down and removed his notebook and pen from his pocket. "Okay. We took care of the guests Tiger wants to invite. And she knows what time the ceremony will be, and I contacted Bluebird and informed him as well. So we're done with the wedding guests." He checked off those items in his notebook. "After tonight we'll have one case of champagne."

Carter, stepping away just a bit from the door, approached the radioman. "Uh, Kinch, I think there's something we forgot."

Kinch and Newkirk both looked around. "What's that, Andrew?" asked Kinch, hoping the explosives expert was wrong. Not that they wanted to forget anything on their commander's most important day, but to have to add something else to an already long list was not something they were looking forward to.

"Yeah, what is that, Andrew?" Newkirk asked looking exasperated.

"Well," Carter stuck his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. "Shouldn't we give the Colonel and Tiger wedding gifts or something like that?"

Kinch and Newkirk looked at each other for a long moment. Then Kinch wrote in his notebook 'wedding gifts.' He massaged his forehead.

"Andrew, we're in a ruddy POW camp. What the bloody hell kind of wedding gifts are we gonna give the Gov'nor and Tiger?" asked Newkirk.

Carter shrugged innocently. "I don't know exactly. Maybe the guys in the workshop can make something. I mean like a couple of picture frames, maybe two candle holders; I can make the candles. We can use some of Hilda's filing cards and make wedding cards or something like that. I can even use our camera to take pictures and we can put one of the Colonel and Tiger after they're married into one of the frames as a gift. I mean, they won't be anything expensive, but they'll come from the heart. What do you guys think?"

Newkirk's face softened as did his voice. "Carter, you amaze me sometime, mate. Y'know that? I think that's a beautiful idea."

"I agree," said Kinch. "In fact, Andrew, why don't you have some of the guys in the barracks get to work on the picture frames and candle holders right away. I'll have the Colonel get some of Hilda's blank file cards for us."

Carter's face lit up. "Really? You want me to handle it?"

"Sure. Why not? It was your idea after all, " Kinch added. "You decide how many picture frames we need and what sizes as well as the candle holders. The sooner they get to work on them the sooner they'll be ready in time for the wedding."

Feeling like he was on top of the world, Carter grinned as he walked back to the door to resume his watch. "And you guys didn't believe me when I told you."

"Told us what?" asked Kinch.

Carter chuckled. "I told you this would be fun."

* * *

(1) "Certainement" means "Certainly."

(2) Honey Hornberg and her Stuttgart Steppers were from Will The Blue Baron Strike Back, Season four.

(3) The wedding gown made by LeBeau and Newkirk is from Gowns by Yvette, Season five.

(4) Monsieur means Mister.

(5) 'Tight' mean drunk- translation courtesy of British Slang and Septic Companion.


	5. Chapter 5The First Diversion

****Thanks to Jennaya for her suggestion for the scene in the infirmary.****

**Chapter 5-The First Diversion**

Wilson entered barracks two just as LeBeau was climbing back into the barracks from below, and after seeing Kinch, Carter and Newkirk seated at the table approached them.

"Okay, Olsen said you wanted to see me about needing my help with the Colonel. What's up?"

"Have a seat, Joe," LeBeau said as he sat down at the table. As the medic sat down he glanced curiously at the others suspecting they were up to something other than what they already had to do. "We need you to do us a favor later tonight."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Tiger is coming by about 2100 hours tonight and we are going to take her measurements to make her a beautiful wedding gown…." LeBeau said as he and Wilson both heard Newkirk groan. After giving the Englander a brief glance, the Frenchman continued. "…and we want you to keep Colonel Hogan occupied and out of the barracks for about uh, twenty minutes or so."

"Why? I thought Colonel Hogan knew about you guys handling the arrangements for his wedding?"

"He does," sighed Newkirk who then glanced at LeBeau. "But monsieur LeBeau here has decided Tiger should have a proper wedding gown made by guess who?"

Wilson chuckled as he shook his head. "Another gown by Yvette I presume?" he asked.(1)

"Oui. And Colonel Hogan is not to know anything about it until the day of the wedding. Can you help?"

"We thought you might have idea," said Kinch.

Wilson, scratching his chin, appeared to be lost in thought for a few minutes before a sly grin appeared on his face.

Kinch looked at the others with an anticipatory look. "You have an idea?"

"Yeah but it's not great and the Colonel will probably see right through it in a minute, but it's the best I can come up with on such short notice." He grinned. "You guys can count on me. When do you want me to have the Colonel come to the infirmary?"

"Well, when Tiger arrives, we'll have one of the guys tell the Colonel you want to see him at the same time and that it's very, very important," explained Kinch. "This way, by the time Colonel Hogan returns, we'll make sure Tiger has to leave."

Just then Olsen entered the barracks and noticing LeBeau, approached the table. "Hey Louie, how's the wine coming for the bachelor party?"

"I just finished it a few minutes ago," the Frenchman announced with a wide grin. "It is down in the tunnels fermenting. I'll bottle it as soon as its ready."

"Thanks, Louie," Olsen said patting the Frenchman on the shoulder before walking away.

Wilson got to his feet. "Well, I'd better get going. If the Colonel comes back and catches me here he might become suspicious. I'll see you guys later." He headed for the door and left. Kinch checked his watch.

"Colonel Hogan should be back around dinnertime so we still have a few hours," Kinch said. "LeBeau, have you got an idea for a menu for the wedding?"

The Frenchman smiled widely. "Oui," he said with excitement. "It will be a buffet style dinner for all."

"Don't forget, LeBeau, there'll be a child attending this wedding as well," Newkirk reminded him.

"I did not forget, mon ami. I am going to prepare food that both adults and a child can eat. For example, for the appetizer I will have a fruit and cheese platter; and for the main course sausages, potatoes, salad and dinner rolls. The wedding cake will be the dessert and Klink's champagne will be for the adults. I will also make sure we have grape juice on hand for David."

Kinch's eyes smiled. "Sounds pretty good to me, Louie." He removed his small notepad and pen from his jacket pocket. He flipped open the notepad. "Have you decided what type of cake you're going to make for the wedding?"

"Oui. It will be a yellow cake with 3-tiers with white icing, butter-crème filling and colored roses will decorate the top." He saw Kinch notate the information. "I am also going to make a regular chocolate cake." Kinch looked up, puzzled.

"What's the chocolate cake for?"

"We did tell Klink and Schultz we were celebrating the Colonel's anniversary at Stalag 13. The chocolate cake will be for the bachelor party as well as part of the cover story."

"That's a smart move," Carter admitted with admiration.

The radioman turned his attention to the explosives expert. "Okay, Andrew, what about the wedding gifts?"

"I spoke to a couple of guys in the workshop and they're gonna have five silver picture frames, all eight by ten, ready in a few days. I told them to put a rush on 'em. As far as the candle holders they'll make two of them and they'll be ready about the same time as the picture frames. They asked me what were they for, and I told 'em they were gonna replace duplicate items that were accidentally damaged. I think they bought it. And once that's done, it won't take me but a day to make about four candles afterward."

Kinch wrote it down, then looked at Newkirk. "How about the work below on the three rooms we'll need?"

"It's coming slowly, mate. But I've been assured everything will be ready on time. But we have a small problem with the bridal suite."

Kinch looked around. "Oh? And what's that?"

"Well," Newkirk began rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks turning a shade of crimson with embarrassment. "Y'see, it's sort of like this, mate. What are we uh, that is uh, what I mean is, what are we suppose to use for a bridal bed? I mean, the bunks with those high wooden sides won't do it."

"Hmmm," remarked Kinch scratching his chin. "That's going to be a problem. We do have some spare cots below that we use for downed flyers and escapees. I suppose we might be able to tie two of them together to make a regular bed or maybe even lay two mattresses together on the floor."

"Two mattresses on the floor don't sound very romantic, mate."

Carter suddenly got a goofy grin on his face. "Maybe we could just use a single cot."

Newkirk stared at his best friend, stunned, and finally rolled his eyes in disbelief. "Carter, do us a favor?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"Sod off, will you?"(2).

Carter, shutting his mouth, pouted like a child.

Kinch suddenly grinned and snapped his fingers. "I've got it!" he cried.

"Got what? What is it?" asked LeBeau.

Kinch quickly explained what they could do regarding the bridal suite. Then he waited for their response.

There was a few moments of silence as the others looked at him, incredulous, before somebody finally responded.

"That's a fantastic idea, mate!" exclaimed Newkirk. "But how are we gonna pull it off?"

"Why just one night," Kinch told him. "Why not for maybe two or three nights or longer?"

Carter chuckled. "Now how are we gonna do that?"

Kinch thought for a moment then looked at his friend. "Simple. Remember that time we convinced Klink he had won German Soldier of the Month and he went to Paris?"(3)

"How could we forget?" said Newkirk, not getting it. "But what has that got to do…"

"Let's say this time we have Klink, unknown to him of course, win a contest and the grand prize is an all-expense paid trip to Paris for several days?"

The others started talking excitedly at their friend's plan. Then Carter threw a damper on things.

"Just how are we gonna let Klink know he won this contest anyway?"

Newkirk rolled his eyes. "Carter, we slip an envelope in his mail at the appropriate time informing him he's won the contest. We'll have him leave on the 11th. This way he'll be gone the day before LeBeau has to prepare the food for the wedding, and it'll also get Schultz out of the way."

"Ohhhhhh, now I get it," Carter said with a smile.

Newkirk, looking up at the ceiling shook his head.

"The day before, on the 10th, we'll slip the letter in his mail. This way he'll be out of the way for, let's say a full week, and the Colonel and Tiger will have themselves a nice comfortable bed in their bridal suite instead of the hard ground in the tunnel. All we have to do is radio our contact in France and have them set up a hotel room, food and whatever else we need." Kinch quickly made a few notations in his notepad. "Newkirk, you'd better get below and tell the guys working down there to stop work on the temporary bridal suite and just concentrate on the other two rooms."

Newkirk got to his feet. "Right," he said as he walked towards the double bunk.

"Looks like things are starting to come together," Kinch remarked to the others looking at his notepad. "After tomorrow night we can scratch a case of champagne off the list as well."

"Why tomorrow night?" asked LeBeau. "I thought we were going get the champagne tonight."

Kinch shook his head. "Won't be time with Tiger coming. Besides, we don't want to have to duck Colonel Hogan's questions by trying to do it tonight."

"Kinch is right," LeBeau readily agreed. He looked at Kinch. "Mon ami, why don't you work on your best man speech while things are quiet. You are not going to have much chance later."

"That's a good idea, LeBeau," Kinch said closing his notepad and sticking it and his pen back in his pocket. Getting to his feet, he looked at the others. "I'll use Colonel Hogan's office until he gets back." Just then Newkirk reappeared from below and then slapped the hidden mechanism. After the lower bunk dropped over the tunnel opening, the Englander returned to the table and sat down.

"I told the men downstairs what you said and they stopped work on the bridal suite. I mean, there wasn't that much work done on it anyway so whatever they've completed they'll remove and use it in the other two rooms."

"Good," Kinch replied. "I'll be in the Colonel's office for awhile. Let me know when he gets back." He walked away in the direction of Hogan's quarters.

LeBeau checked his watch. "Colonel Hogan will be back soon," he said getting up and tying an apron around his waist. "So I guess I should start dinner."

* * *

Hogan walked into the barracks at the same time LeBeau had finished preparing dinner; the men noticed he looked extremely tired. As he collapsed onto the bench, the Frenchman placed a cup of fresh, hot coffee in front of him.

"Thanks, LeBeau," Hogan said removing his crush cap and tossing it onto the table. He let out a deep breath before taking a drink of the hot liquid. Closing his eyes momentarily he sighed contentedly. Opening his eyes he glanced around. "Where's Kinch?" he asked.

"Right here, Colonel," the radioman announced as he came closer. Hogan looked around. "Sorry. I was using your office to try and write my best man speech."

Hogan chuckled and shook his head. "Are you guys sure you aren't getting a bit carried away with these arrangements?"

"Not at all, Colonel," Kinch feigned being indignant. "It's the job of the best man to write a speech. And no, I'm not going to read it to you so don't ask."

"So how's it coming?" asked Hogan innocently. "The speech I mean."

Kinch chuckled knowing Hogan was trying to find out what he had written. "Fine. I got most of it written. Just needs a little bit more and I'll be finished."

"Mon Colonel…" LeBeau said as he placed a plate of food in front of Hogan. "Tiger contacted us. She will be here at 2100 hours tonight."

"Tiger's coming here?" Hogan asked, surprised, as he began eating his dinner. "Did she say why?"

LeBeau shrugged as he set plates in front of Kinch and Newkirk. "We don't know. She thanked us over the radio when we told her we were making the arrangements and she said she was inviting Oskar Schnitzer and his wife. She called us back a little later while you were gone and said she was coming by."

Hogan checked his watch before putting another forkful of food into his mouth. It was a little over one-and-a-half hours before Tiger was to show up. As the men ate their dinner, Hogan, wondering why Tiger was coming to Stalag 13, was also secretly hoping to spend a little quality time with her that he wasn't able to on the night he proposed. He found himself getting excited at just the thought.

"Newkirk, you'll meet Tiger outside and bring her back here."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Newkirk escorted Tiger through the emergency tunnel and into the radio room where Hogan, LeBeau, Carter, and Kinch were waiting. Tiger kissed Hogan on the mouth in front of the men, and with the Colonel's arm around her slim waist as she pulled away, her smile lit up her face as she held up her hand displaying the engagement ring. There were excited remarks and well wishes from the men who one-by-one kissed Tiger on her cheek.

"Merci mes amis," she said, her eyes showing her excitement. "Merci for what you are doing for Robert and I. I did not think a simple thank you over the radio was sufficient for what you are all doing. So, I decided to come in person to say thank you. I don't know how I will ever be able to repay you."

Kinch waved a hand at her with a grin on his face. "Just be happy and have a long marriage. That is the best way you can repay us." He checked his watch. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have something to do upstairs before lights out so I'll say goodnight, and congratulations again Tiger."

As Kinch disappeared from the tunnel area, LeBeau looked at Tiger. "So, did you have a chance to speak with the Schnitzers? Will they be coming?"

"Oui, I spoke with Oskar this afternoon. He said he and his wife would be delighted to attend." She looked lovingly at Hogan. "He also says to tell you congratulations mon amour." She nuzzled Hogan's neck before resting her head on his shoulder.

"Hey Colonel!" Kinch shouted from above suddenly.

Hogan kissed Tiger on the head. "Excuse me. I'll be right back," he said before leaving her and walking over to the ladder leading up to the barracks. He looked up and saw Kinch looking down at him. "What's up, Kinch?"

"Colonel. You're needed in the infirmary right away. Wilson says it's urgent."

Seeing the concerned look on his radioman's face, Hogan became concerned that something was wrong. "What's wrong? Did Wilson say?"

"No sir. He just sent word that it's important for you to come to the infirmary right away."

Hogan sighed wearily. "Okay, I'll be right up." Hogan then climbed up the ladder and stepped into the barracks. He was concerned because since Wilson said it was important possibly meant that someone had either been injured or was ill and his presence was needed. "If Tiger asks for me tell her I had to go to the infirmary and I'll be right back."

"Yes sir," Kinch replied as he watched his commanding officer leave the barracks. Grinning, he waited about five minutes before he again leaned over the tunnel opening.

"Hey LeBeau!" He saw the Frenchman appear below and look up. "Colonel Hogan left about five minutes ago for the infirmary. Don't take too long."

"Okay. Merci, Kinch." He then hurried away back to where Tiger, Carter and Newkirk were waiting.

* * *

As Hogan entered the infirmary, all kinds of thoughts were running through his mind from who might have been injured to who might be sick, and how bad was it regardless. Glancing around he noticed all the beds were empty and was puzzled. He spotted Wilson coming towards him.

"Joe, what's going on? Kinch said you sent word it was important I come to the infirmary right away. However, now that I'm here I don't see anybody. What's going on?"

Inside, Wilson was laughing like crazy; but outwardly, he struggled to maintain a straight face at what he was about to try and do. "I'm sorry, Colonel, if I led you to believe somebody was sick or injured."

"Uh-huh," Hogan uttered already becoming suspicious. He had a feeling he was deliberately being kept occupied and that his men were behind it. "Joe, what's going on here?"

"Colonel, have a seat. Please."

Curious as to why he'd been summoned here, Hogan sat down on one of the beds and waited. Wilson sat on the bed across from him so the two men faced each other.

"Colonel, I realize you are in your mid-thirties and if you were home your father would probably be doing this just before your wedding. But as you're not home and I am four years older than you, I think it's only appropriate that you and I have what is known as 'the talk'."

Hogan found himself staring at the medic, speechless. Wilson thought he needed 'the talk?' He now knew something was going on and that his men were definitely connected to it. His eyebrows arched.

"You thought I needed the _what_?" he asked when he had finally recovered his voice.

"Well, sir, this is your first marriage and I thought we should have a talk about what's expected from you and Tiger, and given both your situations, how things will be somewhat different from the normal couples considering what you both do."

"Uh-huh," Hogan said slowly. Leaning forward he felt Wilson's face and forehead with the back of his hand.

"Colonel, what are you doing?" the medic asked as the Colonel continued feeling his face and forehead.

"Just wanted to see if you were developing or had developed a fever or something."

Wilson brushed aside his commander's hand. "I feel fine, sir. I'm being honest with you."

Hogan wrapped his arms around himself. "Okay, what's going on here?"

"Sir?"

"Why am I really here? And what is all this about us having 'the talk'? I suspect something's going on and my men are somehow connected with it and have dragged you into it."

"Sir, I swear to you I have no idea what you're talking about. This is strictly between you and me."

Having had enough of this game Hogan got to his feet and with hands on hips, stared at the medic who also got to his feet. "Joe, believe me when I say Tiger and I have discussed all this many, many times, and at my age I certainly don't need a talk. Now, Tiger is waiting for me in the tunnel and I have to go. So, I'll say goodnight." He turned and started to walk away.

"Colonel Hogan!" Hogan stopped, turned around and was stunned to see Wilson standing, hands on hips, staring at him intensely.

"Joe…" Hogan began.

"Colonel Hogan, I realize you are my commanding officer. But as I _am_ four years older than you, you will sit down, be quiet, and listen to me." Wilson knew he was pushing things but he was doing whatever he could to give LeBeau and the others the twenty minutes they needed; so far it had been not been ten minutes.

Hogan's eyes widened like saucers as he stared at his friend. Hooking his thumbs in the side pockets of his jacket, he then noticed Wilson's assistant, Sergeant Paul Anderson, come into view. "Paul, I think you'd better give Wilson an examination immediately."

Anderson, who was aware of the Colonel's pending nuptials, was trying hard not to burst out laughing at Wilson's attempts to keep Hogan's attention diverted. "Why do you say that, Colonel?" he asked innocently.

"I think Joe either hit his head or is coming down with something because I suspect he is losing his mind."

Paul grinned and shook his head. "But Colonel, Sergeant Wilson just had his scheduled physical two months ago with the other men. Oh, by the way, congratulations, sir."

"Thank you, Paul. But it doesn't change anything. I think Wilson needs another examination. Now, if you gentlemen will both excuse me. It's not polite to keep the future Mrs. Hogan waiting. Good night." He abruptly turned and walked out; nobody saw the amused grin on his face. Back in the compound again, Hogan checked his watch; he decided if his men wanted him out-of-the-way for whatever they were up to, he'd play along by walking around the camp for about ten more minutes. He figured that should be more than enough time for them to complete whatever it was they were up to. So, sticking to the shadows as it was nighttime, Hogan walked around the compound. He kept track of the time, and after approximately ten minutes he returned to barracks two to find Kinch seated on a spare bunk writing something.

"Tiger still here?" he asked curiously.

Kinch glanced up. "I think so, sir."

Hogan approached the double bunk and slapped the hidden mechanism. As the lower bunk rattled upward and the ladder dropped, he stepped over the bed frame and onto the ladder. He didn't see Kinch watching him disappear below.

Returning to the radio room, Hogan spotted Tiger still there. She smiled warmly when she saw Hogan and ran into his arms and kissed him passionately in front of the men. Hogan looked up, nervously. "Uh fellas, could you give us some privacy," he squeaked.

"Oui, mon Colonel," LeBeau said with a smirk as he motioned for Carter and Newkirk to follow him. After the trio had departed, Hogan leaned forward to resume kissing Tiger who immediately put her hand over his mouth. "Non, mon amour," she said gently. She could feel the American's growing excitement. "I am afraid we must not until after we are declared husband and wife."

Hogan feigned hurt. "What do you mean no? Tiger, you can't get me going and then throw cold water on me immediately afterward."

"I'm afraid I must, my love. It would not be right. We must do this the right way." She kissed him on the cheek. "I'm afraid I must go. I have other appointments tonight. Goodnight, mon amour." She started away.

"Wait, I can have one of the guys escort you out or I can escort you out myself."

"It is not necessary. I have someone waiting for me at a designated rendezvous place who will make sure I return home safely." She smiled sweetly and gently shook her golden brown hair. "Do not worry. I will be fine." She quickly left the tunnel leaving Hogan standing alone watching her receding back. Alone, he shook his head sadly.

"I think I need a cold shower before I go to bed," he muttered dejectedly half to himself.

* * *

(1) Gowns by Yvette is from Season five.

(2) "Sod off" means several things, one of which is "Get lost."

(3) Is General Hammerschlag Burning?, Season three.


	6. Chapter 6A Problem Arises

**Chapter 6-A Problem Arises**

After Tiger departed, a deflated Hogan slowly climbed up the ladder and stepped over the bed frame and into the barracks. He hit the hidden mechanism and as the ladder rose and lower bunk dropped, he poured himself a half-cup of coffee and sat down at the table. He took a drink and pinched the bridge of his nose. Kinch, seated at the table, glanced first at his commander and then up at Newkirk who was lying on his stomach on his top bunk. The Englander then leaned over the edge and looked down at Carter who was sitting on his lower bunk looking up at him. Then Carter glanced over at LeBeau who was lying on his side on his bunk above the hidden tunnel entrance with his head supported by his hand with his arm bent at the elbow.

"Tiger get away all right, sir?" asked Newkirk quietly eyes shifting to Hogan.

"Yeah, she got away all right, Newkirk," Hogan replied not looking around; he took another drink of coffee.

"Boy, that sure was a pretty engagement ring she has, Colonel," Carter said with a childish grin.

"Yeah," Hogan agreed. ''It was her grandmother's." He wasn't angry or upset; he figured Colonels had to have some fun too.

Kinch licked his dry lips. "Uh Colonel, is something wrong?"

"No, Kinch, nothing's wrong," Hogan said calmly as he wrapped both hands around his coffee cup as it sat on the table. "Except for a very strange conversation I had with Wilson earlier."

"With Wilson, sir?" asked Kinch. "What was so strange about it?**"**

This time Hogan studied his second in command. "Strange that you should ask," he said, the corners his mouth turning upward. "He decided that at my age I needed to have 'the talk'."

As Kinch stared, speechless at his commander, Carter's eyes widened like saucers.

"Talk? What talk?" he asked, not getting it.

Newkirk rolled his eyes. "I'll explain it to you later, Carter," He said looking down again before turning his attention back to Hogan. "What happened, sir?" he asked.

"Wilson wanted to discuss with me the finer points of marriage."

"You're kidding," Kinch said with an amused grin. He looked at Newkirk, LeBeau and Carter; the Englander and the Frenchman were grinning while trying not to laugh out loud, while Carter still looked totally confused.

"No I'm not," said Hogan. "So, what did you guys and Tiger talk about while I was gone?"

"Nothing much, mon Colonel," said LeBeau sitting up on his bunk with his legs dangling over the side. "We talked about the arrangements and asked her if there was anything special she might like us to do for the wedding. She didn't have anything special."

"Yes, sir. Then we told her once we confirmed the exact time for the wedding we'd let her know," added Newkirk. "That was pretty much it, sir."

Hogan nodded as he got to his feet. He nodded his head. "Y'know, that thing with Wilson had me thinking that perhaps he wanted to keep me distracted for some reason. But I must be imagining things, right?"

"Of course," said Kinch nervously. "I mean, why would Wilson want to distract you? It doesn't make any sense."

"You're probably right," Hogan said. He drained his coffee cup. "Guess I'll turn in, and I suggest you guys do the same. I'm sure you have plenty of things to do tomorrow. Goodnight." He walked towards his private quarters with a chorus of 'goodnight' directed at his receding back. As he entered his quarters he could no longer stop the grin from appearing. He was now positive his men were behind Wilson's little ploy; but whatever it was they were up to they were obviously intent on keeping it a surprise, so Hogan decided for now he'd let them have their fun and wait to see what they had planned.

* * *

As soon as Hogan's door closed, Newkirk and LeBeau jumped down from their upper bunks joining Kinch at the table while Carter remained seated on his bunk.

"You think the Colonel suspects we had Wilson distract him?" whispered LeBeau with a worried look.

Kinch smirked. "I'm willing to bet he suspects. Colonel Hogan's pretty sharp. I'm sure he saw right through Wilson's little ploy."

"Then how come he didn't call us on it?" asked Carter with concern; the others looked at him.

"Because right now he probably figures we're planning something special for his wedding and is allowing us to have our fun. The main thing is not to let him find out about the wedding gown for Tiger. Speaking of which…" Kinch looked at the Frenchman. "…I think you've got a small problem regarding the making of this wedding dress, Louie."

"What problem? We got Tiger's measurements and I already have an idea for a wedding gown that can double as evening attire."

"Have you forgotten? Just where and how are you going to get the material to make this wedding gown?"

"Simple, mon ami. Tomorrow, we will contact Bluebird and ask him to have his wife get us the necessary material I will need and what kind. She can get the lace as well. After-all, a woman would know what to look for opposed to a man. Once she has everything, we will contact Schnitzer and have him deliver it through the dog tunnel entrance."

"And just how do you suggest we keep Colonel Hogan from seeing it being delivered? Or did that little item escape your devious mind?" asked Newkirk sarcastically.

"Non, it did not," LeBeau replied with a smirk. "We will simply ask Schnitzer to keep the Colonel engaged in conversation while we unload our supplies from the back of the truck. We will tell the Colonel that Schnitzer would like to see him regarding the wedding. Should take no more than a few minutes."

"A few minutes," Newkirk uttered shaking his head. "LeBeau, something tells me you're out of your bleedin' mind if you think we're gonna be able to keep deceiving the Colonel like we are."

"It's worked so far hasn't it, Pierre? We can do this. Trust me. I know what I'm doing."

"Trust you, yes. Know what you're doing? I don't think so."

Nobody noticed Carter had gotten to his feet and was now standing behind LeBeau. "I don't mean to add to the problem, but we still need those file cards from Hilda."

"Tell you what, Andrew," Kinch explained. "Tomorrow, we'll have Colonel Hogan visit Klink's office and get them for you. This way I can contact Bluebird on the radio while he's doing that. We'll reimburse Lilly for whatever she has to spend for what we need."

Newkirk failed miserably trying to stifle a yawn. He shook his head. "Blimey," he muttered. "I'm suddenly all tuckered out. Think I'll turn in meself. Night chaps." Getting up, he climbed up onto his top bunk and stretched out on his stomach. Seeing their friend had the right idea, the others decided they should turn in as well. It wasn't long before they joined the world of sleep that the others were already in.

* * *

"Raus, raus! Everybody outside for roll call!" Schultz bellowed loudly as he entered barracks two and immediately slapped the side of Newkirk's bunk, startling the Englander awake. "Everybody up!"

"Blimey, Schultzie," Newkirk mumbled rubbing his tired eyes. "Do you have to be so bloody loud first thing in the morning? Can't you knock like normal people?"

Schultz chuckled and smirked, amused. "If you weren't so busy with your monkey business, you wouldn't be so sleepy."

"Monkey business, Schultz?" asked Kinch stretching his arms trying to wake up. "What monkey business?"

Schultz approached Kinch and pointed a chubby finger at him with a wide grin on his face. "I have no idea except that I know you are all up to something."

"Schultzie, how can you say that when the only thing we are up to is preparing for Colonel Hogan's anniversary at Stalag 13 just like we told you," said LeBeau innocently. "Of course, you keep up accusing us of being sneaky we might not give you a piece of the chocolate cake I'm making for the party."

Schultz's eyes widened like saucers and a wide smile appeared. "Chocolate cake? Wunderbar! How soon are you baking it?" he asked eagerly.

"Not until the sixth. And if you're a good boy until then, I will save you a big piece," said LeBeau with a mischievous grin of his own.

"Don't worry. I will be on my best behavior until then. Now, will everybody please turn out for roll call."

"If we're not there on time…" Newkirk moaned. "…start without us."

"Danke," said Schultz as he cheerily left the barracks.

As the men finished getting dressed, the door to Hogan's quarters opened and the Colonel walked out, zipping up his leather jacket. "Let's go, gentlemen," he said heading to the door. "Mustn't keep our fearless bald eagle waiting. He can't afford to lose any more hair."

There were chuckles among the men as they followed their commander out the front door and into the compound forming two lines and coming to attention, sort of. Schultz proceeded with his count. A few minutes later, the Kommandant was spotted hurrying down the steps of the Kommandantur.

"Schuuuuuuuuultz, repoooooooooooooooooort!" he bellowed.

The obese guard turned and saluted. "Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for."

Klink returned his guard's salute. "Excellent, Schultz." Klink's eyes fell on his Senior POW officer. He marched straight up to Hogan until they were toe-to-toe. "Colonel Hogan, I want you to know I double checked your file and your anniversary date isn't until November 2nd as I suspected. So your men claiming they are celebrating your anniversary here on July 13th is a lie."

Hogan, raising his eyebrows, looked at Klink quizzically.

"In fact," Klink continued with a smirk looking like he knew something the American didn't. "I might go so far as to say this entire anniversary lie is to cover up an escape plan scheduled for July 13th."

Hogan looked around at the men before looking back at Klink. "Really, sir?" He again looked at the men. "Okay, who's planning to escape and didn't tell me?" There were protests from the other prisoners. Hogan faced Klink again and shrugged.

"Sorry, sir, but you must be mistaken. If somebody's planning on escaping, the escape committee didn't authorize it. But I will investigate the rumor and get back to you."

"Hogaaaaaaan!" Klink shouted waving his fist at the American. "I'm on to you. And just so you know, I am going to double the guards outside the fence until further notice. And there will be nightly roll calls effective immediately as well until further notice. Nobody escapes from Stalag 13; not while I am it's Kommandant. Make sure you tell your escape committee about _that. _Diss-missed!" He abruptly turned away and stormed back in the direction of the Kommandantur. The prisoners began to scatter while Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk gathered around Hogan; all of them watching Klink's receding back.

"What are we going to do, Colonel?" asked LeBeau, hands stuck in his pockets. "With those extra guards outside the fence until further notice, it's gonna interfere with the wedding guests coming on the thirteenth."

"And those nightly roll calls are gonna wreck havoc on your wedding day as well, sir," Newkirk added.

"I know," Hogan replied. "Leave it to Klink to check my file regarding when I came to Stalag 13. We're going to have to do something about both things between now and then. I'm not going to have Klink ruin my wedding day. I'll have a talk with him as soon as I come up with something."

"Uh, Colonel," Carter began hesitantly. "If you're going to talk with Klink, do you think you could get a pack of file cards from Hilda. We need them."

Hogan looked at Carter curiously. "Carter, what do you need file cards for? I hope you're not sending out engraved invitations."

Carter gave Hogan a lopsided grin. "Of course not, Colonel. I wouldn't do a thing like that, sir. But I just can't tell you why we need them. We just do is all."

"I'll ask Hilda for a pack of them. No problem."

* * *

Sometime after breakfast, Hogan casually strolled through the front door of the Kommandantur and saw Hilda smiling sweetly at him from her seat behind her desk at the typewriter.

"Morning, Hilda," he said with his famous lopsided grin on his handsome face. _I'll have to tone this down after I'm married._

"Guten Morgen, Colonel Hogan," the pretty blond-haired woman breathed in her husky voice as she got up from her desk and walked over to the filing cabinet. She could feel the American's presence directly behind her as he nuzzled her neck.

"The wannabe General in his office?" he quipped.

"Jawohl," she said softly as she turned around and wrapped her arms around Hogan's neck. Hogan sighed thinking what he was about to do.

"Not right now; I have a headache," he said. He feigned wincing in pain.

"Poor baby," Hilda purred sweetly. "I can make you feel better."

Hogan reached up and pulled her arms from around his neck. "Maybe later," he said knowing there would be no later._ Oh well. The sacrifices one must make for his country._

He saw Hilda look at him in surprise. "Before I forget, Hilda. I need a pack of blank file cards. LeBeau wants to write down his recipes and start a collection. He plans on writing a French cookbook after the war."

Not responding but the disappointment evident on her face, the secretary bent down, opened a lower file cabinet and removed an unopened pack of blank file cards. She tossed them at Hogan who caught them against his chest. He sensed Hilda was a bit miffed by his rejection of her advances. "Danke," he said. Seeing Hilda return to her desk, Hogan shrugged tucking the pack of file cards in his jacket before knocking on Klink's office door and without waiting to be admitted, opened the door and walked in closing the door behind him.

Klink, seated behind his desk, looked up in time to see Hogan offer him a sloppy salute and toss his cap onto the point of the pickelhaube on the end of Klink's desk. Saluting his American counterpart in return, Klink removed Hogan's cap and tossed it back at the American who sat it on top of the humidor instead.

"What do you want, Hogan? Can't you see I'm swamped with paperwork?"

Again without invitation, Hogan plopped down in the chair in front of Klink's desk.

"Kommandant, I just want you to know I asked all the men in the barracks at one time, and they all deny vehemently they were planning any escape and I believe them. Besides, why would they even try an escape with the Iron Colonel in charge? We know we can't fool you, Kommandant, so why would we even try?"

"I'm glad you and your men at least realize it is foolish to try an escape," Klink replied getting up and going to his file cabinet while Hogan sneaked three cigars from the humidor and quickly stuck them inside his jacket pocket. "But the extra patrols and nightly roll calls will stand until further notice." Klink returned to his desk and sat down.

Hogan crossed his legs. "Better rethink your decision, sir," he said calmly folding his arms across his chest.

"I'm not going to rethink anything. My orders stand."

"Okay, I guess you know what you're doing," Hogan announced as he got to his feet, snatching his cap off the humidor in the process. "I just hope for your sake they don't find out."

"Hogan, wait a minute," Klink said jumping to his feet nervously. "They? They who?"

"Hochstetter and Burkhalter. Who else?" Hogan started out the door.

"Wait. What do Hochstetter and Burkhalter have to do with anything? This is my decision, not theirs."

Hogan closed the door and faced Klink. "So true. But see, Hochstetter is always looking for something to prove your incompetence because he's jealous of your success. And Burkhalter is looking for any reason to replace you." He noticed Klink beginning to wilt before his very eyes. The American came closer to the Kommandant's desk.

"If anything, Hogan, this will just go to show I'm on the ball with what's happening in my own camp," Klink said with a devious smirk looking at the American.

"On the contrary, Kommandant, it'll have just the opposite effect."

"What do you mean the opposite effect?" Klink seemed to wilt even further and the smirk disappeared as he slowly sat back down.

"Well, let's say the Gestapo gets wind of you doubling the guard and the nightly roll calls and Hochstetter starts thinking something's going on here at Stalag 13 to cause you to resort to these extreme measures. He comes out here with a garrison and in addition to taking over the camp, surrounds it with his infamous ring of steel. Next thing you know the Gestapo has completely taken over Stalag 13 thus giving Hochstetter the idea that what he already suspects about Stalag 13 and can't prove just might be true and your head is on the chopping block. Now, do you want to put that idea into his head where right now it isn't?"

"You're right, Hogan. I hadn't thought about that. Major Hochstetter would look for any reason to show I don't know what I'm doing."

"And as he doesn't trust you or your men, if he hears you even _suspect_ an attempted escape he'd be here in a flash to quash it and declare the Gestapo were able to do what you couldn't even though it was happening right under your nose."

Klink paled as his body trembled and it was at that instant that Hogan knew he just about had him hook, line, and sinker. All he had to do now was reel him in.

"But what about General Burkhalter?" Klink stammered. "What might he do?"

"Simple. Hochstetter just might contact the General about things and before you know it, Burkhalter's out here screaming at you because the Gestapo's involved which is something he doesn't need or want, so he blames you and before the night's over, you're on a one-way trip on the Stalingrad Express to the snowflake capital of the world."

Klink's entire body trembled now. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "You're right. General Burkhalter would blame me. All right, Hogan, as long as you assure me there is no planned escape scheduled, I will think about canceling the order for the nightly roll calls and the extra patrols outside the fence."

"You have my word as an officer and a gentleman there is no planned escape."

Klink stared up at his American counterpart figuring he could possibly get something out of this still. "Hogan, I'll make a deal with you. You have your men cancel this ridiculous so-called anniversary party on the sixth, and I'll cancel the extra patrols and the nightly roll calls effective immediately."

Hogan feigned total defeat knowing the sixth was the day for his bachelor party. "You win, Kommandant," he said dejectedly. "I'll break the news to the men as soon as I return to the barracks. You have my word there will be no party."

"Excellent. Effective immediately, there will be no extra patrols or nightly roll calls. I give you my word."

"Thank you, sir," Hogan said somberly. "Unless there's something else, sir, I'll go break the news to the men. They'll be upset, but they'll get over it." He saluted Klink sloppily as usual. Klink returned it and then watched a defeated Hogan leave his office looking like he had lost his last friend on earth. It was too bad he didn't see the amused grin on Hogan's face. As the Colonel walked down the steps of the Kommandantur, he couldn't help but chuckle. _There will be no party, Kommandant. Not until you have a sleeping pill in your warm milk that is. _Hogan then continued on his way back to barracks two.


	7. Chapter 7A Close Call

**Chapter 7-A Close Call**

When Hogan returned to the barracks, he reached inside his jacket and, removing the pack of cards, handed them to Carter who was seated at the table.

"Gee, thanks, Colonel," the young Sergeant said happily. "Now we can make those…owwww!" he suddenly yelped when Newkirk kicked his shin under the table. Reaching down he rubbed his sore shin and grinned at the Colonel who looked between his British Corporal and young Sergeant. "Now I can make those notations while I'm in my lab."

"Uh-huh," was all Hogan said as LeBeau handed him a cup of hot coffee. "Thanks LeBeau." He took a drink and then glanced around. "Where's Kinch?"

"Oh, he's down in the radio room checking his equipment," the Frenchman stated. "Colonel, how did things go with Klink? Were you able to get him to change his mind about the extra patrols and nightly roll calls?"

Hogan smirked. "Was there ever any doubt?"

There was happy chatter among Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk until Hogan held up his hand. The men instantly quieted down.

"I promised Klink if he canceled the nightly roll calls and the extra patrols, I would cancel the party for my uh, anniversary at Stalag 13 on the sixth…" he noticed the men about to protest. "…but that is only until LeBeau slips a sleeping pill in Klink's hot milk when he's ready for bed that evening. Then, we have the party as planned." He noticed the frowns turns into smiles.

* * *

Kinch grinned as he made notations in his notepad after speaking with Bluebird. He made sure to give him the information just as LeBeau had given it to him as to exactly what kind of material the Frenchman wanted, and that whatever the cost, they would reimburse him and Lilli. It was then that the underground operative revealed a surprise of his own; and it was his and Lilli's wedding gift to Hogan and Tiger. When Kinch heard what it was, a wide grin appeared.

"Captain, I think that's the best wedding gift anybody could possibly give the Colonel and Tiger." Kinch went on to explain that once Lilli had the material to get in touch with them and they would arrange with Schnitzer to pick it up and deliver it into camp when he came to change the dogs in two days. Fuchs promised Lilli would have the material no-later-than late tomorrow afternoon. After thanking Bluebird, he then contacted Schnitzer and informed him what Newkirk and LeBeau were going to do and that Bluebird's wife was going to pick up the material tomorrow, and they would appreciate it if he could deliver the material to them when he comes to change the dogs in two days. He also informed the vet they would let him know when Lilli had the material ready to be picked up. Schnitzer then asked if there was anything special he and his wife could bring the happy couple as a gift. Kinch told him it wasn't necessary to bring a gift, but if they wanted to, he would leave it up to him and his wife to decide.

Once done with the radio calls, Kinch checked his watch and figured Hogan was probably back in the barracks by now, and if he stayed below too much longer, the Colonel might become suspicious if he wasn't already. Turning off the radio, Kinch made his way to the ladder leading to the barracks above and climbed up. The minute his head appeared he spotted Hogan seated at the table. The others looked over.

"Everything okay with the radio equipment, mon ami?" LeBeau asked.

"Fine," Kinch replied stepping into the barracks. He struck the hidden mechanism and waited for the ladder to rise and the bunk to rattle downward over the hidden tunnel entrance. He poured himself a cup of coffee and joined the others at the table. "So, did I miss anything of interest?" he asked. LeBeau quickly brought the radioman up to date on what the Colonel had told them.

Kinch, taking a drink of coffee, looked at his commander. "Colonel, something just occurred to me."

"What's that?" asked Hogan.

"Well, we should have your dress uniform cleaned and pressed for the occasion."

"I don't have a problem with that. But I don't want you guys taking on more than you can handle. Seems to me you've all got enough to handle right now as it is. It isn't necessary to clean and press my dress uniform."

"Oui, it is," said LeBeau. "But we will wait as long as possible before we do it. It is not a problem, mon Colonel."

Hogan grinned. "If you say so. I just don't want you guys biting off more than you can chew with these arrangements for the wedding."

The Frenchman grinned broadly. "Nothing to worry about. We have everything under control."

"If you say so." Hogan checked his watch and draining his coffee cup, got to his feet. "I have to speak with Sergeant Wilkerson about something concerning the wedding, and then I have to radio Tiger and speak with her alone, so if you guys will excuse me for awhile." He left the barracks. The minute he was gone, LeBeau faced Carter.

"Andre, there is one more thing you must have the men in the workshop make in addition to the picture frames and candle holders. You must have them make a tiara for Tiger."

"What do you need a tiara for?"

"I am going to attach the veil to it. Also, we can glue some of those fake diamonds to the tiara."

"What fake diamonds?" asked Carter.

"Remember when that Major Hegel of the Gestapo blackmailed us for one million dollars in diamonds to keep quiet about our operation? After Hegel was killed, Newkirk recovered that box of fake diamonds before they were found on his body." (1)

Carter looked at his best friend. "You never told me you recovered those fake diamonds from Hegel."

Newkirk shrugged. "Never got around to tellin' you, Andrew. Didn't think it was important. But now you know."

"Besides," Kinch added. "We couldn't very well have the investigating Krauts find them on Hegel, now could we? It would have caused questions to be asked that we didn't want asked."

"I guess so," was all Carter replied. "Okay, I'll tell the guys to make a tiara also. But what do I tell them we need it for if they ask me because you know they're liable to?"

For once LeBeau had no answer; but it was Kinch who came to the rescue. "If they ask, just tell them it's to be used on a mission to fool a Kraut. I mean, we do that kind of thing all the time."

Carter's face brightened. "Sure. They'll believe that. Thanks, Kinch."

Kinch grinned, amused. "You're welcome."

Newkirk looked at the radioman. "Did you reach Fuchs?"

"Yeah. I gave him the information exactly as LeBeau gave it to me. He said Lilli will have everything no later than sometime tomorrow afternoon. I asked him to contact us when they have the material. I then contacted Schnitzer about things and he agreed to pick up the material from Lilli and deliver it here when he changes the dogs day after tomorrow. He also agreed to keep Colonel Hogan occupied for several minutes while we unload the material from the back of the truck. Oh, before I forget, Bluebird has the perfect wedding gift for the Colonel and Tiger."

"What is it?" asked the Frenchman.

Kinch repeated what the Gestapo Captain had told him. There were smiles all around.

"Wow!" Carter exclaimed. "He really did that for the Colonel and Tiger?"

"Sure did, Andrew," Kinch assured him.

"Magnifique!" LeBeau exclaimed. "It is a beautiful gift. It seems everything is coming together at last."

Newkirk rolled his eyes. "We haven't made the ruddy wedding gown yet, mate. Remember when the Gov'nor said he hoped we hadn't bitten off more than we can chew?"

"Oui?"

"I bloody well hope this isn't that one time."

* * *

The next two days saw plenty of action happening in barracks two. Today was the fifth of July and before roll call that morning, LeBeau, after putting on the water for the coffee, ducked down into the tunnel and bottled several bottles of his homemade wine for the bachelor party the next day.

The day before, Kinch had received a radio message from Bluebird saying Lilli had gotten the material and the lace and refused to accept reimbursement for it, and to consider it her gift to Hogan and Tiger. Kinch had contacted Schnitzer immediately to pick up the material. So while LeBeau was busily bottling the wine today, he contacted Schnitzer again to find out what time to expect the vet's arrival. The vet told him he would be there just after evening roll call because there would be less chance for anyone to see them unloading the material. Kinch repeated that they would tell Hogan that the vet wanted to speak with him about the wedding and for him to keep the Colonel occupied for a few minutes while they unloaded everything. There would be no problem according to Schnitzer.

In addition, the workshop had finished the candle holders and the picture frames. Believing they were needed for something to fool the Krauts the other prisoners put a rush on things and worked around-the-clock to get them done. When the guys saw them their collective breaths were taken away at the workmanship and care that had been put into the making of the items. LeBeau hid them in his footlocker for safekeeping. Now they could concentrate on the tiara. Carter had worked after-hours and made four regular sized candles and they too, were hidden in the Frenchman's footlocker.

Carter had distributed blank file cards to each of the guys in the barracks and to Wilson when he came by, and asked each of them to write their own personal message from the heart. It took a few hours, but eventually the guys all had something written and Carter collected them and looked through them; some were funny, but most were not, but regardless, they were all from the heart. Giving them to the Frenchman, LeBeau added them to his footlocker. Everybody figured it would be better to keep everything in one place instead of scattered around in various places where the Colonel might be likely to discover them.

Of course, the biggest accomplishment from the night before was when Newkirk distracted Schultz while he was bringing Klink his glass of hot milk thus allowing LeBeau to drop a sleeping pill into the glass. After allowing time for Klink to drink the doctored milk and for the sleeping pill to take effect, the Englander and the Frenchman got into Klink's private stash and quietly removed a case of champagne as well as a bottle of white wine, and once getting them down the tunnel entrance in Klink's quarters, hid them in the tunnel reserved for the wedding reception. Looking around at the decorating taking place, both men had to admit things were coming along nicely and sensed both rooms would be ready in plenty of time; perhaps with one day to spare.

Now with everybody back in the barracks taking a break from everything, Kinch removed his pad and pen from his pocket and noticing the Colonel wasn't around, set about discussing things.

"Where's Colonel Hogan?" he asked, curious.

"He's taking a walk around the compound," said Carter. "In fact, he left here about ten minutes ago."

"Good. I've been going over the list of what still has to be done for the wedding. I finished my best man's speech finally. Seems that mostly everything is done except for the food, the cake, the music, the wedding gown and veil, and the floral arrangements. We also need to get one of the wash tubs and some ice for the champagne so it'll be chilled properly for the reception. We can arrange the other things in a few days."

"Speaking of the alcohol, what's the bottle of white wine for?" asked Carter.

Newkirk chuckled. "That's for us personally so we can toast the Colonel on his marriage privately with just the five of us alone. That bottle is hidden in my footlocker under a few things until the proper time."

"I think we should take one of those bottles of champagne and stick it in Klink's ice bucket in the bridal suite so the Colonel and Tiger can celebrate together after they're married," Kinch added.

"When are we going to stick that letter in Klink's mail telling him he won that contest?" Carter then asked Kinch.

"On the tenth. It'll state he must be there by such-and-such a time on the eleventh for one week. I'll radio our contact in Paris and have them set things up at some exclusive hotel with all expenses paid, champagne, meals and toss in a few girls to keep the Kommandant amused and have a good time for a week. We'll have enough money to cover everything. Once Klink and Schultz are gone, that'll clear the way for LeBeau to cook for the wedding without Schultz and Klink poking around."

"Those poor birds," Newkirk murmured with a shake of his head. "Having to spend time with ole Klink is what I call going above and beyond the call of duty."

Kinch looked at the Frenchman. "LeBeau, what are you preparing for the bachelor party tomorrow?"

"The chocolate cake I will bake tomorrow. As far as the snacks are concerned, I will make a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the Colonel personally." LeBeau rolled his eyes just at the thought. "I will also make some other snacks for the party. My homemade wine is bottled and ready. All we need tomorrow is to get some ice and stick the bottles in the wash tub so it'll be chilled."

"Don't forget to slip Klink another sleeping pill tomorrow in his hot milk so he'll sleep through the bachelor party," Kinch reminded the Frenchman.

"No problem," LeBeau replied. "What time is Schnitzer coming this evening?"

Kinch looked at his watch. "He said yesterday he'd be here after roll call this evening. So we have to make sure Colonel Hogan is outside talking with him while we unload the material from the back of the truck. And we have to be fast about it. The Colonel won't remain distracted for very long."

"Yeah," said Carter. "After what happened with Wilson, the Colonel's already suspicious."

"Probably is," agreed Newkirk looking at Carter. "But just remember, the Gov'nor cannot find out about this wedding gown for Tiger. It'll ruin everything."

"I remember," Carter sounded more harsh then he planned. "Sheesh, you guys don't have to keep reminding me."

"One thing, LeBeau," Kinch suddenly said. "Keep an eye out for Schultz tonight when Schnitzer arrives. If you see him heading in the direction of the dog pen when the vet arrives, you'll have to distract him so Schnitzer and the Colonel can talk."

LeBeau quickly got to his feet. "In that case, I'd better have some strudel ready."

* * *

It was nearly two hours after evening roll call when Schnitzer's van entered through the front gate and pulled to a stop beside the dog pen.

LeBeau, who had been watching outside the barracks but hidden in the shadows, spotted Schultz heading in the direction of the dog pen and immediately hurried out from his hiding place, blocking the path of the obese guard before he got too far. From where they were, Schultz would not be able to see Hogan when he appeared.

"Cockroach, what are doing outside? You know the rules; no prisoners allowed outside the barracks after dark."

LeBeau, smiling sweetly, waved the covered plate beneath the guard's nose; Schultz's head followed the plate back and forth. "Now if I return to the barracks, you wouldn't get any strudel would you, Schultzie?"

Schultz reached out a pudgy hand and lifted the corner of the cloth napkin covering the plate. "Oooooooo, apple strudel. It smells wunderbar," he said looking dreamily at the strudel. As he reached for a piece the Frenchman quickly pulled the plate away and recovered it. He leaned forward.

"You can't eat it out here in the open. Somebody might see you. C'mon, follow me."

"But, but, but, what about Schnitzer? I just saw him drive into camp," Schultz stammered. His eyes followed the plate as LeBeau again waved it under his nose. Schultz stared hungrily at the plate. "Schnitzer knows where the dog pen is and what to do." He meekly followed LeBeau to a portion of the barracks that was deep in the shadows and sat down beside the Frenchman who handed him the plate.

"It's all for you, Schultzie. Enjoy."

* * *

Schnitzer was Hammelburg's veterinarian and had been for many, many years. Currently in his late sixties, he was still a practicing vet, an active member of the underground, and a good friend of Colonel Robert Hogan. It was his job to periodically change and care for the guard dogs at Stalag 13 as part of his official duties, while his unofficial ones included sneaking things and people into and out of camp for the Colonel and his men. Opening the door to the back of the truck, he reached in, grabbed one of the two German shepherds by the collar and pulled it from the truck. He unlocked the door of the dog pen and after letting the dog go inside, closed and relocked the door before getting the other dog from the truck. After he repeated the process with the second dog, he was locking the door again when he spotted Hogan approaching. The American looked over his shoulder making certain nobody was around. Satisfied, he shook hands with the vet. "Schnitzer," he said. "We'll have to talk fast. Newkirk said you wanted to speak with me about something?"

With a wide smile on his fatherly face, the vet led Hogan away from the back of the truck to between the back and the front. He hugged the Colonel and patted him on the back.

"I wanted to offer my congratulations to you in person, Colonel. I never thought I would see the day that a woman would finally catch you. And there is no better woman for you than Tiger. Greta and I were hoping the two of you would get together. You make a fine couple."

Unnoticed by Hogan, the doghouse inside the pen rose and Newkirk peeked outside. He quickly and quietly climbed out with Carter behind him. Hearing the voices of Hogan and Schnitzer, Newkirk quickly opened the back door of the vet's truck and silently Newkirk removed the material from the back of the truck, one at a time, and handed them to Carter who then handed them to Kinch who was watching from just beneath the raised doghouse.

"Thanks, Oskar," Hogan said. He looked over his shoulder again. "I can't risk being out here too much longer," he said again facing the vet. "Is there anything else you want to talk with me about?"

"Ja. Greta and I would like to give you and Tiger a wedding gift but we can't figure out what to get you. Is there anything the two of you would like?"

For some reason Hogan's gut was telling him this was possibly another distraction set up by his men. But exactly what they needed Schnitzer's help for escaped him for the time being. Still, he was willing to let this pass also to continue letting them have their fun. He would simply bide his time and wait to see what this surprise was.

Hogan shook his head. "You don't have to get us anything, Oskar. Just attending is enough of a gift for us knowing that two of our friends will be there to help us celebrate. Tell Greta not to give it another thought."

Schnitzer shrugged. "I will tell her, but you know my wife. She will not be happy unless she can bring you both a gift." He checked his watch. "Well, I must be leaving. Greta is holding a late dinner for me. Again, Colonel, congratulations."

As he walked around to the driver's side of the truck with Hogan behind him, neither man noticed anything or anybody. Hogan watched the vet climb behind the wheel and closed the door. He leaned forward a bit. "Tell your wife I said hello." He stepped back as Schnitzer started his truck and drove off. Looking cautiously around again, Hogan kept to the shadows as he headed back to the barracks, all the time curious as to what his men were up to that included Wilson and possibly Schnitzer as well.

* * *

(1) Major Hegel is from Diamonds in the Rough, Season 2.


	8. Chapter 8A Prank is Pulled

**Chapter 8-A Prank is Pulled**

The morning of the sixth of July began just like every other day with Schultz barging into the barracks.

"Raus, raus! Everybody up for roll call! Schnell! All prisoners outside!" He bellowed.

"C'mon, Schultzie, have a heart," pleaded LeBeau without opening his eyes.

"Everybody up and outside for roll call!" The large guard slapped the side of the Frenchman's bunk startling him awake before turning away and heading towards the door seeing the prisoners starting to stir.

"I'll remember this next time I get the urge to make strudel," LeBeau muttered.

"I hope you remember it when you make the chocolate cake," Carter mumbled.

"Carter!" Newkirk admonished him looking over the edge of his upper bunk.

Schultz, who had been partially out the door, backed up and closed the door. "Chocolate cake? What chocolate cake?" he asked looking at Carter.

Carter swallowed the imaginary lump in his throat. "Nothing, Schultz." He grinned nervously. "I was just kidding about the chocolate cake, that's all."

"There is something funny going on here," Schultz said. "The Kommandant said Colonel Hogan promised him there would be no party tonight. Oh, I must report this to the Kommandant!"

"You do what you have to do, Schultzie," LeBeau said after having jumped down from his bunk. He poked the guard playfully in his large stomach. "Of course, if you do that then I just won't give you a piece of the cake."

Schultz, his eyes closed had a dreamy smile on his face. "Ummmm. Chocolate cake. My favorite."

"Of course if Klink finds out…" Kinch added with a wry grin. "…then LeBeau won't be able to make the cake which means you won't get any. But you go ahead and do your duty."

Schultz looked at the men. "Oh course what the Kommandant doesn't know won't hurt. Just save me a big slice."

"Je promets," LeBeau said with a smile. "Merci, Schultzie. Now wait outside so we can get ready."(1)

"Just don't take too long." Schultz exited the barracks.

"Nice cover LeBeau," Kinch remarked with a grin.

"You weren't so bad yourself," the Frenchman said. Both men then stared at Carter whose cheeks had a red tinge to them.

"I'm sorry," Carter said sheepishly. "It just slipped out."

"Carter, next time you have the urge to open your mouth…" Newkirk began as he pulled his blue turtleneck over his head. "…don't."

Just then the door to Hogan's quarters opened and the Colonel emerged zipping up his jacket, crush cap perched on his head. "Let's go guys," he said. "Our fearless leader awaits." Opening the door of the barracks, Hogan exited with the others behind him.

Schultz had just completed his count when Klink's loud voice was heard booming in the early morning air.

"Schuuuuuuultz, repooooooort!" Klink marched right up to the formation of the prisoners stood. He returned Schultz's salute.

"Herr Kommandant, all present and accounted for."

"Excellent Schultz." Klink then turned his attention to his Senior POW officer. "Colonel Hogan, I trust you relayed what we discussed yesterday to your men?"

"Yes sir," Hogan said wearing his best unhappy face as he glanced at the other prisoners who, following their commander's lead, looked dejected and miserable. Mumbles could be heard among them. "Okay, quiet down," he ordered; the sounds ceased immediately. Hogan, with a sigh, faced Klink. "Sorry about that, Kommandant. It's just that the men didn't take the news very well as you can see. But they'll survive. I told them not to get any ideas of going against the orders of the Iron Colonel, sir."

Klink, his chest puffed out and looking proud to have caused Hogan some grief, smirked. "Excellent, Hogan." He didn't see Schultz roll his eyes with an amused grin.

"Oh brother," the guard muttered mostly to himself.

Klink's head snapped around as he glared at his Sergeant-of-the Guard. "Schultz! What are you muttering over there?"

The guard swallowed nervously. "Nothing, Herr Kommandant. I was just clearing my throat. Herr Kommandant, I agree with everything you said."

Klink pumped his fist. "Oh shut up, Dummkopf!"

"Shutting up, Herr Kommandant."

"Dissss-missssed!" Klink bellowed, saluted and stormed away leaving Schultz standing rooted in place while Hogan and the prisoners dispersed. Watching the Kommandant's receding back, Hogan strode up along Schultz with thumbs hooked in his side pockets.

"You seem kind of happy today, Schultz," Hogan remarked with a smirk. "What's up?"

"I'm dreaming of the chocolate cake LeBeau is gong to make late today for your anniversary. But don't worry, Colonel Hogan, I will not tell anybody."

While Hogan and Schultz were talking, Olsen and Baker sided up to Newkirk, their eyes focused on the Colonel.

"Everything all set for tonight, Newkirk?" asked Baker, grinning.

Newkirk smirked. "Yep. Everything's set. All we gotta do is get the Colonel tight enough and set things up in his quarters without him noticing anything during the party." He grinned. "You chaps know the Gov'nor's gonna be mad as bloody hell at first when he finds out."

"We know that," Olsen assured him. "But it won't last long. Besides, we're sure the Colonel's been to enough of these bachelor parties to know what happens at them. He'll get a good laugh out of it afterward."

"Will that be before or after he kills us?" the Englander asked with raised eyebrows. "Watch it, here comes the Gov'nor."

Hogan suspiciously eyed the trio. "And what are you three up to?" he asked.

"Nothing, sir," Olsen said. "We were just discussing what a great bachelor party you're going to have tonight, Colonel."

"That reminds me, Newkirk," Hogan began as he rested a hand on the Englander's shoulder. "Just how did Schultz find out about LeBeau baking a chocolate cake for the party?"

"Oh that," Newkirk replied stuffing his hands in his pants pockets. "Carter let it slip out about the chocolate cake, sir. After that, we had to promise him a slice of the cake to keep quiet. Sorry sir."

Hogan sighed. "It's okay. Just try and be more careful next time. You're lucky it was Schultz this time. Next time it might be somebody else."

"Understood, Colonel. It won't happen again I promise you."

Hogan patted him on the back and smiled "Good man. Now, let's go see what LeBeau is preparing for breakfast. I don't know about you but I'm starved."

* * *

Evening roll call came and went without any problems for which Hogan and the men were grateful. The cake, sandwiches, plates, forks glasses, and the homemade wine were all safely hidden in Hogan's quarters. In joyful expectation of the fun to come, Hogan, his hands behind his back, wore his best dejected expression as did the men. But internally, they were all chomping at the bit for roll call to be over and Klink to retire to bed so the festivities could begin. Hogan noticed Klink trying to stifle a yawn by hiding his mouth behind the back of his hand.

"Are these roll calls boring you, Kommandant?" Hogan asked with a smirk, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Klink looked irritated. "Now what makes you say such a thing, Colonel Hogan?" He was not in the mood for any of Hogan's antics after a long day. All he wanted to do was turn in for the night.

Hogan shrugged. "Well, I know how bored I get at them. I figured it was just a matter of time before you'd be bored as well, sir." There were chuckles among the men.

"Colonel Hogan, you will hereby refrain from making comments about the roll calls," Klink remarked.

"I wasn't making a comment, sir. I was making an observation. There is a difference between an observation and a comment. See, a comment is…."

'SILENCE!" Klink bellowed. He saw Hogan stare at him looking hurt with raised eyebrows. He glanced at his guard. "Schultz, dismiss your men!"

Schultz saluted. "Jawohl, Herr Kommandant."

Klink, his fist balled, stared at Hogan shaking it. "Hrmph!" he muttered before turning and storming away. As the men entered the barracks to set things up for the bachelor party, Hogan and his men sided up to Schultz.

"The Kommandant seems kind of grouchy this evening, Schultz," Hogan observed. "Probably from lack of sleep. Wouldn't you agree, LeBeau?" He looked down at his French Corporal.

"Oui mon Colonel," LeBeau agreed with a smile. "I have seen this many times before. What the Kommandant needs is a good night's sleep."

Schultz, his eyes narrowed, waved a pudgy finger at Hogan. "Colonel Hogan, you and the cockroach are up to some monkey business."

Hogan feigned looking wounded. "Schultz, I'm hurt. I really am. I'm just concerned about the Kommandant, that's all. Boy, try to be concerned about your fellow man."

"I'm sorry, Colonel Hogan," Schultz said. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

Hogan grinned. "Apology accepted. See, I can be very forgiving."

"Danke, Colonel." Schultz looked at the Frenchman, rubbing his hands together eagerly. "Is the chocolate cake ready?"

"It will be, Schultzie," LeBeau said eagerly. "I will save a piece for you."

"Danke." Schultz suddenly frowned.

"What's wrong, Schultz?" asked Hogan.

"I have to prepare the Kommandant's hot milk before he starts yelling for it. He always has a glass of hot milk before he goes to bed."

"Have fun, Schultz," Hogan patted the large guard on the shoulder as he and the men headed into the barracks where things were being taken from Hogan's quarters and set up on the table in the common room. The last thing was a wash tub packed with ice and several bottles of wine which was being poured into glasses by Olsen and Baker. There were peanut butter and jelly sandwiches which the men knew were exclusively for the Colonel along with a bowl of caviar and crackers, along with sandwiches made of various types of meat, all pilfered from Klink's secret stash with the exception of the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

A glass of wine was shoved into Hogan's hand before the barracks door was closed. "Take a taste of this, Gov'nor," Newkirk advised his commander. "It'll melt your eagles."

Newkirk, looking at LeBeau at the time, smirked at seeing a scowl appear on the Frenchman's face. Hogan took a drink and coughed.

"Whoa, what did you do, LeBeau? Drain the oil from Klink's staff car?" Hogan asked.

"Only LeBeau knows, Gov'nor and he won't tell. Says it's a family recipe."

Before he took another drink, Hogan looked at the Frenchman. "You got the sleeping pills?"

The Frenchman patted his coat pocket. "Right here, Colonel."

Hogan grinned. "You know what to do. Get going and hurry back. This party wouldn't be the same without you."

Grinning like a Cheshire cat, the Frenchman slipped out the barracks door and, keeping to the shadows, crept though the compound until he reached Klink's quarters. He peeked through the slightly open bedroom window and spotted the glass on milk sitting on the night table beside the bed. He also heard water running from the direction of the bathroom. He silently raised the window and climbed into the bedroom. Glancing again in the direction of the bathroom, LeBeau reached into his pocket and removed the bottle of sleeping pills. He dropped two tiny pills into the glass before he heard the water being turned off. He quickly climbed out the window, lowered it to its original point, and hid to the side long enough to watch Klink enter the bedroom and take off his robe, laying it across the foot of the bed. Picking up the glass of milk, Klink emptied the glass in one gulp before climbing into bed, turning off the table lamp and snuggling under the blanket. It wasn't long before a gentle snoring could be heard.

With a grin, LeBeau again hurried across the compound and made it back to the barracks where the party was in full swing. Wilson had arrived and was sitting with the Colonel. LeBeau gave Hogan a 'thumbs up' sign as he closed the door. He saw the Colonel smile in return.

"Thanks for the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, LeBeau," Hogan remarked.

"You are welcome Colonel," LeBeau said. "I made them especially for you." He noticed Newkirk motioning with his head for him to join him. "Excuse me, Colonel."

Joining Newkirk in a corner of the room, LeBeau seemed puzzled. "Is there a problem Pierre?"

"I don't know yet," the Englander said. "The Colonel isn't drinking enough. We need him good and tight if this prank is gonna work. That's still his first bloody glass."

LeBeau grinned. "Leave it to me, mon ami," he said. "You want the Colonel drunk, then drunk he will be." The little Frenchman quickly returned to where Hogan was seated at the table munching on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with several other prisoners sat with him, all were telling tall tales and laughing, including Hogan. LeBeau noticed the Colonel's glass was empty. He quickly grabbed a bottle of wine.

"Mon Colonel, you are hurting my feelings by not drinking my wine," he said as he poured. "I spent a lot of time making this especially for your bachelor party."

Hogan sighed wearily seeing the hurt look on LeBeau's face. He emptied his glass in one gulp and LeBeau proceeded to refill it, and refill it, and refill it. Before long, the Frenchman could see that Hogan was looking glassy-eyed.

Everybody was having a wonderful time exchanging stories whether they were true or not; spinning tall yarns trying to outdo each other, or just to have something to say. There were congratulations made to the Colonel and best wishes offered. The food was disappearing as was the chocolate cake. LeBeau quickly cut a large slice and covered it with a cloth and exited the barracks to give it to Schultz before it disappeared. He found the guard sitting on a bench behind barracks eleven, dozing. He quickly woke him up.

"What is it LeBeau?" Schultz asked sleepily.

"I promised you a big slice of chocolate cake, Schultzie," the Frenchman said handing him the plate. "Enjoy."

"Danke," Schultz said with a big smile; he was awake now. "You are such a good little cockroach to remember to bring me a piece of cake." Taking a bite, Schultz sighed in ecstasy. "Wunderbar! Wun-der-bar!"

"Enjoy, Schultzie. I have to get back to the barracks." LeBeau quickly turned and disappeared while Schultz enjoyed his cake.

Meanwhile, Newkirk, Olsen and Baker were keeping their eyes on the Colonel, and after about two hours, they could see the Colonel was looking like he couldn't tell up from down, and neither could anybody else either; just the three of them had to remain somewhat sober as they were in charge of setting things up. Afterward they would get soused. Olsen whispered in Newkirk's and Baker's ears that it was time.

Newkirk inconspicuously made his way to Carter's bunk and, kneeling down, pulled out a microphone. Glancing over his shoulder, he noticed Hogan pour another glass of LeBeau's wine. _Blimey, the Gov'nor's gonna be unconscious if he keeps this up. What is that now, his fourth? Or is it his fifth? I lost count._ Regardless, Kinch was standing in front of him blocking Hogan's view of Newkirk. The Englander quickly made his way into Hogan's quarters where Baker and Olsen were waiting with what else was required; they closed the door.

* * *

"Tiger, get up before somebody comes in," Hogan murmured sleepily without opening his eyes. He shoved the arm draped over him away only to have it fall across him again. "C'mon, Tiger." He shoved the arm aside again, and again it fell back across him.

"Colonel," a feminine voice cooed sleepily. "I may not be Tiger, but you don't really want me to leave do you?"

Cracking open his eyes just a bit, Hogan glanced over his shoulder and caught sight of a blond-haired figure snuggled up against his back, her hair covering her face. With a tired grin on his face, he turned back and attempted to go back to sleep. Suddenly his eyes flew open and he looked around again. Blond-haired woman? Hogan slid quickly upward in his bunk and winced as he grabbed his head from the motion. The drums in his head were merciless. It was either drums or the sound of anti-aircraft fire. Looking around, he not only saw his own clothes strewn about the room, but a woman's clothes as well. Looking down only verified what he already knew. He was naked! Looking under the covers he realized he was completely naked! He tried to remember what happened at the bachelor party.

Couldn't remember.

He recalled LeBeau continuously refilling his glass with that homemade wine.

And then nothing. Drew a blank.

Who was this woman?

Drew another blank.

"Colonel, come and lie down. Relax," the woman purred.

Before Hogan could respond there was a knock on his door. "Colonel? You awake? Roll call, sir.

Too stunned to respond, Hogan quickly jumped out of the bed again wincing at the sudden motion. Grabbing his robe off the bed, he hastily put it on and finished belting it as the door opened to his quarters and Newkirk looked in.

"Oh, you're awake, sir," the Englander said. Hogan looked at him nervously. _How could Newkirk look so cheerful this morning while I feel like I wrestled with a tiger tank and lost?_ "You all right, sir?"

Hogan slowly got to his feet, and as the room spun around fell back in his chair. He ran his hands down his face. It was then he saw Newkirk staring at his bunk.

"So that's where she got to. We were wondering where she disappeared to after Olsen and I had to practically carry you to your quarters." He smirked. "If you don't mind me saying so, Gov'nor, you were soused to the gills."

Hogan looked stricken. "Where did she…who is she…?" he stammered. Was that a chuckle he heard from Newkirk? He saw the Englander look over his shoulder into the common room.

"I found her! She's in the Gov'nor's room!" Newkirk said.

Hogan winced and buried his head in his hands; not so much from Newkirk's shouting but wondering what he was going to tell Tiger. He looked up and saw Olsen, Baker and Newkirk standing in his doorway with the other prisoners straining to see inside. There were smirks and chuckles among the men. Finally Olsen, Newkirk and Baker shooed everybody out and closed the door leaving them and Hogan in the room.

Getting down on his knees, Newkirk reached under the Colonel's bunk and pulled out the microphone; Baker sat down on the edge of the bed and moved the blond hair out of the way to reveal the face of a cloth female dummy. Hogan's eyes widened.

"A dummy?" Hogan asked, his voice rising in anger. "You scare me half to death with a dummy?"

"Sorry about that Gov'nor," Newkirk said. "We didn't mean any harm. We just thought it would be a fun practical joke to pull on you. It was either that or get a real girl for the job."

Staggering to his feet, Hogan held onto the edge of his desk, feeling his anger dissipating and he began to chuckle. "Bravo. Very well done. You really had me going with the clothes all over the floor, the voice…by the way, who's voice was that I heard?" A look at Newkirk trying to hide a guilty look gave Hogan his answer.

"Then you're not angry, Colonel?" asked Olsen.

"At first. But I've been to enough of these things to know what takes place at them. I suppose I should be grateful you didn't have Honey Hornberg and her Stuttgart Steppers appear."

"Actually, we considered asking them, sir," said Baker with a straight face. Hogan shook his head and winced.

"Okay you guys. We have roll call and Klink's probably wondering where everybody is so we better get ready and show up. So take our friend here and leave while I get dressed."

"Yes sir," Newkirk said as he gathered up the doll. "Come along me lovely," he said while Olsen gathered the woman's clothing. The men left the room chuckling while Hogan ran a hand over his tousled black hair breathing a sigh of relief that he hadn't done anything he would have to explain. Sitting down on his lower bed, he began to get dressed for roll call while the brass band continued in his head.

* * *

(1) " Je promets" means "I promise."


	9. Chapter 9The Morning After

**Chapter 9-The Morning After**

The men lined up in formation for roll call. As Schultz slowly counted each prisoner pausing when he got to Colonel Hogan and noticed he was wearing sunglasses. He was about to comment when Klink's voice boomed though the air.

"Schultz! Reopooooooooooooooooort!"

Hogan winced as did several of the men. Everybody was hung over from the night before and all everyone wanted was to skip breakfast, lay back down and sleep. Klink's loud voice wasn't helping to ease the sound of the brass band still playing in his head.

Schultz saluted Klink. "Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for."

Klink saluted. "Very good, Schultz. Now…." he paused when his eyes fell on Hogan. "Colonel Hogan, why are you wearing sunglasses at roll call?" Klink asked with a blank expression wondering what his Senior POW officer was up to this morning.

"I'm going Hollywood, sir," Hogan replied innocently, hoping Klink would let things drop. He was wrong.

Schultz started laughing but stopped when he saw Klink glaring at him. "Dummkopf, don't encourage him!" He turned back to Hogan. "I'm waiting for….wait a minute. You said something about going Hollywood?"

"Yes sir."

"What Hollywood? This is a POW camp in Germany."

"I could be discovered anywhere, sir," Hogan replied with a straight face. Actually, his stomach was feeling queasy, and the brass band in his head wasn't helping. "Got to look the part just in case. I mean, Lana Turner was discovered in a drugstore, why couldn't I be discovered in a prisoner-of-war camp?"(1) There were snickers among the men.

"HoGAAAAAAAN!" Klink shouted his fist shaking in Hogan's face. "You will remove those sunglasses at once or I'll have you thrown in the cooler for the duration of the war. Now take them off!"

Hogan sighed wearily. "Yes, sir." He removed the sunglasses, squinted at the early morning sunrise and tucked the glasses inside his inner jacket pocket. "Satisfied, sir?"

Klink stomped up to his American counterpart until he stood directly in front of him. He studied the American's face and eyes closely. "Hogan, why do you look like you were up all night?"

"I do?" Hogan asked, a look of horror on his face. He looked directly at Newkirk who stood beside him. "Newkirk, how could you let me leave the barracks without putting on my makeup? You know I don't look my best in the early morning hours."

Newkirk looked apologetically at his commander. "I'm sorry, Colonel. It won't happen again, sir. You have me word on that."

Hogan faced Klink looking remorseful. "I promise from here on end, Kommandant, I won't forget my makeup before I appear for roll call ever again."

"Hrmph!" Klink uttered before looking at Schultz. "Schultz, dismiss your men." He saluted, turned abruptly and stomped away in a huff. Schultz dismissed the prisoners; then with a chuckle, approached the Colonel.

"Hollywood. For a moment I thought you might be serious, Colonel Hogan." He laughed again.

Removing the sunglasses from inside his jacket, Hogan put them on again and grinned at the guard. "When I get to Hollywood, Schultz, I'll send you an autographed picture. You can hang it in place of old fruitcake's." He then walked back towards the barracks followed by his team.

* * *

Once inside the barracks, Hogan took off the sunglasses and tossed them onto the table along with his crush cap. He ran a hand over his hair and swore even his hair hurt right now as he sat down at the table along with Kinch, Carter and Newkirk; LeBeau was busily pouring hot coffee for everybody. Out of the entire group in the barracks, only Olsen, Baker and Newkirk weren't suffering the after-effects of the night before.

"Thanks, LeBeau," Hogan groaned as he gripped the coffee mug and took a drink. Smiling faintly, he pinched the bridge of his nose. The band was playing even louder. Kinch and Carter just mumbled something incoherent as they took a drink of coffee. Even the Frenchman was silent as he handed Newkirk a cup of coffee before sitting down with one himself. Kinch rubbed his eyes with one hand while Carter laid his forehead down on his arms resting on the table; periodically lifting his head to take a drink of coffee only.

"Here's hoping London doesn't call us with a mission," moaned LeBeau. "None of us are in any shape to do anything."

"I'll tell you one thing," Kinch said massaging his forehead. "If anybody's going to monitor the radio it isn't going to be me. Not today anyway." He gave a quick glimpse at Baker who usually backed him up or relieved him.

"And whose bloody fault is that, hmmm?" asked Newkirk staring at LeBeau. "You and your homemade battery acid."

"Don't blame me," the Frenchman retorted. "I told you to get a case of wine when you grabbed the case of champagne. But non, you said it would be too obvious to Klink."

"He's right, Newkirk," Carter added looking up. "You did say that."

"Oh sod off, both of you!" the Englander answered.

"All right, hold it," Hogan replied with closed eyes. God, his head hurt to even hear himself talk. "It doesn't matter who said or did what. Last night is over and regardless of how we all feel this morning, with three exceptions, it was fun." He opened his eyes and looked at his men with a smile. "And I thank all of you for a fun party. Even the prank was fun after I got over the shock." He looked over his shoulder at the others stretched out on their bunks. "Thanks guys for a fun night. I'll remember it the rest of my life. Even the joke Newkirk, Baker and Olsen pulled on me."

"You're welcome, sir," somebody said.

"It was our pleasure, Colonel," Olsen added. Then, the Sergeant's eyes narrowed. "Hey, does anybody know how Wilson is? I remember him being here."

"Oui, he was," LeBeau replied looking around. "But he didn't have much to drink. About one glass I think, maybe not even that. Said the alcohol was too potent. I'm sure he's fine."

"Better than the rest of us at least," Hogan agreed. He drained his coffee cup and shakily got to his feet. "If you gentlemen will excuse me, I'm going into my quarters, take two aspirin and lay down for awhile. If I'm lucky, by the time I wake up, the brass band will have stopped playing in my head."

LeBeau looked up. "But Colonel, I'm about to prepare breakfast."

Hogan made a face as the thought of food made him want to throw up. "I'll pass, LeBeau. Thanks anyway. But perhaps the others might want something to eat." He slowly made his way into his quarters closing the door behind him quietly.

Checking around the barracks after Hogan left, the Frenchman discovered nobody including Newkirk, Baker and Olsen wanted to even smell food so LeBeau shrugged his shoulders and went back to drinking his coffee. "Well," he announced softly. "Since you three are the only ones still standing upright after last night, Olsen and Baker can put the finishing touches on the tunnels we are using for the wedding and the reception." He then turned his stare to the Englander. "And Newkirk can continue sewing the wedding gown."

Newkirk arched his eyebrows. "You expect me to go down in the tunnel and work on that bloody wedding gown by meself?"

"And why not?" LeBeau teased despite a raging headache. "You are the one with the experience, non?"

"Some experience," Newkirk muttered. "A flippin' seamstress of a bridal gown." He then smirked back at the Frenchman. "I trust you will be checking on my needlework monsieur LeBeau?" he said sarcastically.

"Oui, but of course. You don't think I'd trust you alone with a needle and thread."

Newkirk simply rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Look, if you two are going to argue…" said Kinch rubbing his eyes again. "…take it below. I'm going to lay down and take a nap. The brass band may be what the Colonel heard in his head, I think the drums are in mine." He got to his feet and stretched out on Olsen's empty bunk since the Sergeant would be below working.

"I think I'll join you," Carter agreed as he made his way to his own bunk and stretched out, pulling the blanket over his head.

Getting to his feet, LeBeau hit the hidden mechanism and kept the lower bunk from rattling upward awakening the men were laying on their bunks whether asleep or not, and waved his arm in the direction of the tunnel opening with a grin.

"After you gentlemen," he said looking at Newkirk, Olsen and Baker.

Newkirk, rolling his eyes in exasperation, glanced at the two Sergeants as he got up. "Let's go, mates," he said. "At least in the tunnel we'll have some ruddy peace and quiet."

* * *

Several hours later in the tunnel, Olsen and Baker joined Newkirk in the sewing room having worked on the decorations in the two rooms of the tunnel. They sat down at the table with Newkirk.

"Finished?" asked the Englander glancing up for a second.

"Not really," said Baker. "We're just taking a break and thought we'd sit with you for awhile. They both watched Newkirk's nimble fingers as they worked.

"Looks beautiful, Newkirk," remarked Olsen. He touched the material. "What kind of material is this?"

"I think LeBeau said it was rayon or some such thing," Newkirk commented a bit harsher than he meant to while he continued sewing.(2)

Baker and Olsen exchanged looks before Olsen looked at Newkirk.

"Newkirk, can I ask you a question?" asked Olsen.

"Sure mate."

"Are you upset about something?"

Newkirk looked up then with arched eyebrows. "What makes you ask that?"

"Well, you've been acting strange since LeBeau mentioned he wanted to make a wedding gown for Tiger. And you've been pretty vocal about it."

Newkirk chuckled and shook his head. "Blimey, I'm sorry if you think that. First off, I enjoy jerking LeBeau's chain. Second, if I didn't want to make the bleedin' gown there'd be nothing anybody could do or say to make Peter Newkirk change his bleedin' mind. And finally, I'd do anything for the Gov'nor and me mates, and everybody knows it. I want this bleedin' gown to be the best gown I can make." He smiled faintly. "I hope that answers your question."

"It does," Olsen said with a grin. "I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression."

Newkirk grinned. "It's okay, mate. We're all kinda tired tryin' to get everything done in time for this wedding. I'm just hoping we can do it. Blimey, I want the Gov'nor's wedding to be one that he and Tiger will remember all the days of their lives. I'm just afraid we won't be able to get everything done on time."

Olsen smiled and patted the Englander's knee. "Newkirk, if anybody can finish making a wedding gown in time it's you. Besides, from what I've heard, Tiger's half the size of Burkhalter's niece." He laughed and was joined by Baker and Newkirk. Olsen motioned with his hand to Baker. "Let's get back to work, Richard. We've got two rooms to work on."

He and Baker got to their feet and left Newkirk alone to continue with his sewing.

A few short minutes after they had left, a smiling LeBeau appeared. Newkirk looked up quizzically. "In case you haven't noticed, mate, I'm sewing as fast as I can."

Folding his arms, the Frenchman continued smile. "I know mon ami. I overheard your conversation with Baker and Olsen."

"Oh," was all Newkirk could say as he lowered his head and sighed. "You weren't suppose to hear that." He continued sewing.

"Does it matter so much to you that I did?"

Newkirk shrugged without stopping what he was doing. "Nothing I can do about it now can I?"

LeBeau knelt down in front of the Englander and rested a hand on his causing him to stop his sewing, "Pierre, look at me." Newkirk raised his head and looked directly into LeBeau's eyes. "Mon ami, why don't you want anybody to know how you feel? There is nothing wrong with letting people know how you feel."

"C'mon, Louie, you know me. I'm not comfortable with people knowin' how I feel. Even with you chaps and the Gov'nor, I just can't is all. Doesn't mean I don't care 'cause I do. It's just that I prefer not to show it is all." He grinned. "Aren't you suppose to be resting from your bleedin' hangover from your homemade swill?"

"There is still too much to do if, as you say, we are to make the Colonel and Tiger's wedding a memorable one. Besides, Kinch and Carter are sleeping as I assume is the Colonel. I came below to see how things are going. I have faith in you mon ami. Faith that you can made a beautiful wedding gown for Tiger. If I didn't, I wouldn't have wanted you to sew it." He sighed. "So, show me what you have done so far." He stood up.

Sighing, Newkirk slowly got his feet and held up the gown which was partially done. "Well, what d'ya think, mate?"

"Magnifique, Pierre. It is beautiful. In another day or so we can get Tiger here for a fitting."

Newkirk smiled. "You think so?"

"Oui, I do. When this gown is finished and Colonel Hogan sees her in it, he will be speechless."

Newkirk laughed. "The Gov'nor speechless? That's something I have to see for meself to believe." He laughed again and LeBeau shared it with him even though the Frenchman's hangover made even laughing painful.

"That reminds me, Louie. How are we gonna get Tiger here for her fitting without the Gov'nor finding out?"

"How long before the gown is ready for Tiger to have her first fitting?"

Newkirk looked at his handiwork so far. "I'd say if I work pretty much round the clock probably day after tomorrow at the earliest. Why?"

"I've been thinking about how to get Tiger here without the Colonel finding out but haven't come up with any ideas yet. Perhaps Kinch can come up with something but I will not wake him now. He is very, how would you say, grouchy, when he doesn't get enough sleep just like the Colonel."

"Not to mention hung over as well," Newkirk added with a chuckle.

"Oui, and hung over as well." LeBeau and Newkirk shared another laugh.

* * *

Captain Fritz Fuchs with the Gestapo and Major Wolfgang Hochstetter's second-in-command sat behind his desk sorting through his mail when he spied the envelope from France he had been waiting for. He quickly opened it and removed the cover letter and the document enclosed with it. A slow smile crossed his face. He had rushed the paperwork through to people he knew in the French underground the moment he had been informed of Papa Bear's impending nuptials hoping his gift to his friend and Tiger would arrive in time and it did.

Putting the cover letter and document back into their envelope, Fuchs safely tucked the envelope into his inside jacket pocket. He would take it home for safekeeping rather than take a chance keeping it in the office. He continued to smile thinking about Hogan's upcoming wedding. Never in his wildest imagination did he ever think someone would catch the American; after-all, he knew how much Hogan enjoyed the ladies. His reputation with the female members of the underground was legendary. Fuchs, chuckling, shook his head in amusement. He still couldn't believe Hogan was getting married. His thoughts then turned to Tiger. He had met the French resistance leader two times and thought she was a beautiful woman and apparently just as smitten with the American Colonel as he was with her. Even after their first meeting, Fuchs told himself if any woman would catch Hogan, Tiger would be the one. He could tell by the way the Colonel looked at her. They looked at each other the way he and his Lilli did; Fuchs' smile widened.

His Lilli, with her hazel eyes and light brown hair. Like Tiger, Lilli was stunning to look at. He knew she was the one for him the first time he saw her across the room at a party one of his married friends was throwing . After getting up the nerve to approach her, he discovered she had been watching him as well. In fact, she had even inquired of one of the guests about who was the handsome young man with blond hair and blue eyes. It was then Fuchs and Lilli found out the wife of Fuchs' friend had invited both of them because she thought she would play matchmaker and they would make a handsome couple.

Yep, Fuchs knew just how Hogan felt.

* * *

(1) Lana Turner (b 2/8/21- d 6/29/95) from throat cancer was born Julia Jean Turner in Wallace, Idaho. She was discovered at a Hollywood drugstore. She was introduced to Warner Brothers film director Mervyn LeRoy, who decided to cast her in his upcoming film THEY WON'T FORGET. LeRoy suggested she change her first name to Lana. During WW2, Lana became a popular pin-up girl. Information courtesy of Wikipedia.

(2) Production of rayon for textiles started in 1899 in the Vereingte Glanzstofffabriken AG in Oberbruch. The name rayon was adopted in 1924.


	10. Chapter 10Another Problem Arises

**Chapter 10-Another Problem Arises**

It was the eighth of July, and the men suffering from the home-made wine served at the bachelor party had recovered for the most part. So LeBeau, after having checked with Newkirk late the night before, discovered that the Englander had not only continued working on the wedding gown long after everyone else had gone to bed, but had the gown ready for a fitting. The moment he got up, the Frenchman approached Kinch and explained that the wedding dress was ready and they needed to get Tiger in and out of camp for a first fitting without the Colonel's knowledge. After thinking for a moment, Kinch grinned and told LeBeau he had an idea but first he needed to make a phone call.

After roll call and breakfast, Hogan announced he was going to take a walk around the camp hoping to relieve himself of some of the growing tension he'd been feeling of late.

"Pre-wedding jitters, sir?" asked Kinch with a smirk as he drank his coffee.

Hogan gave the radioman a dirty look. "Of course not!" he declared indignantly. "I just need to stretch my legs a bit. Besides, don 't you guys have something, some kind of surprise you're working on down below that require me not to be there unless London contacts us?" He allowed a smirk of his own. "Something that required the help of Schnitzer and Wilson?"

"Why Colonel, how could you even think that of us?" asked LeBeau. "We aren't up to anything other than making the arrangements."

"The only thing we talked to Schnitzer about was making sure he was coming to the wedding," Newkirk explained with a straight face.

"Uh huh," was all Hogan said getting to his feet and heading in the direction of the door. "Don't work too hard," he said over his shoulder as he headed out the barracks door. Once the door closed, the men all released the breaths they were holding. Kinch got his feet and walked towards the double bunk which hid their tunnel entrance.

"LeBeau, I'll let you know about that second diversion when I come back up. Oh, before I forget, have we confirmed the time of the wedding yet?"

"I will let you know as soon as Colonel Hogan gets back," LeBeau replied. "How are things coming along to get rid of Klink for a few days so I can prepare the food for the wedding, the cake, and we can prepare the bridal suite?"

Kinch stepped over the baseboard and onto the ladder. Looking back at LeBeau, Kinch allowed an amused grin to appear. "I'm waiting for our contact in Paris to get back to me. He knows what we want and said he'd get back to me as soon as everything is set up. I told him we needed everything set by the ninth of the month because we were going to slip Klink a letter on the tenth, and that he'll probably call to verify the letter. Once we hear back then I'll prepare the letter. I'll also contact Tiger after I talk to Bluebird."

Newkirk looked confused. "What are you contacting Bluebird about, mate?"

"You'll see," he said amused. "Besides, what better diversion is there than a visit from our friendly neighborhood Gestapo." He then disappeared below. Shaking his head, amused, Newkirk looked at his friends.

"That Kinch is a ruddy genius, he is," he said. "A ruddy genius." He took a drink of coffee before getting to his feet. "Well, if you chaps will excuse me, I have a date with a wedding dress." He saw LeBeau chuckle.

Now alone with Carter, LeBeau looked at the demolitions expert. "How's the tiara coming, mon ami?"

Carter smiled. "I sneaked out after dark last night and spoke to one of the guys who are assigned to the workshop. He said it should be finished sometime this afternoon."

"Magnifique!" LeBeau exclaimed happily. "Once that is done I will make the veil which should not take long. On the twelfth I will make the cake, and on the thirteenth I will prepare the food."

Carter smiled caught up in LeBeau's excitement. "Looks like things are really moving along."

Sighing contentedly, LeBeau stared dreamily into space. "Ah amour. It is a wonderful thing is it not?"

All Carter could do was blush at the Frenchman's reaction. He chuckled.

* * *

Sitting down at the radio, Kinch took a deep breath before reaching inside his jacket and removing his notepad and pen. Opening it, he looked at their list of things still to be done and saw it had dwindled down considerably. He was hoping by the time the twelfth came, all they would have left to do was for LeBeau to bake the cake and for the Colonel's dress uniform to be cleaned and pressed and…._uniforms_! Kinch suddenly caught himself. The Colonel had his dress uniform but what were he, Carter, Newkirk and LeBeau going to wear? They didn't have any dress uniforms. Kinch massaged his forehead with two fingers. While the last thing they needed was another problem, he was secretly glad he realized it now instead of the day of the wedding. He made a notation in his notepad and promised himself to discuss it with the others sometime today. Tucking his notepad and pen back in his pocket, he proceeded to put on and adjust the headset before turning on the radio.

* * *

Hogan, with hands clasped behind his back, casually strolled around the interior on the camp. He noticed some of the prisoners sitting outside talking, reading, or like him, just walking around the camp. Those that noticed him saluted with him returning the salute. Hogan had to admit that Kinch might have been right about the pre-wedding jitters. He was nervous but couldn't let the men know how he felt; they would have too much of a good laugh at his expense if they knew their commanding officer some of whom thought he walked on water, was afraid about getting married in a few days. What would Tiger say?

"Hey, Colonel!" somebody shouted from behind him. Turning, the Colonel spotted Wilson jogging in his direction. He stood and waited until the medic reached him. "Like some company, sir?"

Hogan eyed him suspiciously with one eyebrow arched. "Only if you promise no more lectures about the virtues and responsibilities of marriage."

Wilson, chuckling, held up a hand. "I promise, Colonel."

Hogan chuckled himself. "Then yes, I would enjoy the company." The two men then continued walking side-by-side.

"So how are you doing with the big day getting closer, sir?" Wilson asked.

Hogan let out a deep breath. "Looking forward to it very much, Joe," he said with eyes looking forward. "I can't wait for Tiger to become Mrs. Robert Hogan."

Wilson looked at the Colonel out of the corner of his eyes and smirked. "Uh huh," he said quietly. "A bit nervous I gather, sir? Perhaps having some pre-wedding jitters?"

Hogan paused and looked at Wilson. "What is it with everybody? First Kinch and now you. I am not nervous."

"Whatever you say, Colonel," Wilson replied as he and Hogan resumed their walk. They walked a few more minutes in silence. "Every man goes through it, sir. You're not the first, y'know."

Hogan stopped again and put his hands on his narrow hips. "All right, I've had it. What are you up to? You've been acting strange since you found out the news."

Wilson raised both eyebrows and looked surprised. "Colonel, I'm not up to anything, I swear to you. I'm just saying that you wouldn't be the first man to get nervous before the big day is all," he said his eyes never leaving Hogan's face.

Sighing wearily, the Colonel hooked his thumbs in his jacket pockets, his eyes looking away from the medic and at a few prisoners who were sitting outside another barracks. He swallowed hard. "You're right, Joe," he said.

"Right about what, sir?"

"About everything." He looked down at the ground. "Imagine. I combat Nazis, commit sabotage and espionage on a daily basis; endure interrogation and torture from the Gestapo because of it. I can face Hochstetter and Burkhalter without batting an eye, and I'm scared to death about standing up in front of a minister and saying the vows of marriage." He chuckled. "Funny isn't it?"

Wilson shrugged his shoulders. "Not really. Colonel, I'd be more worried if you weren't nervous. As I said, it's perfectly normal to feel that way. Trust me. As soon as you and Tiger exchange vows you will no longer feel nervous."

"Can you guarantee that?" Hogan asked with a smirk.

"You have my word, Colonel."

Hogan then continued walking with Wilson beside him, each man lost in his own thoughts.

* * *

Kinch stepped off the ladder and into the barracks. Striking the hidden mechanism, he waited until the lower bunk dropped over the opening before he sat back down at the table.

"Want some breakfast?" asked LeBeau.

"Yeah, thanks LeBeau. The Colonel back yet?" Kinch produced his notepad as the Frenchman put a plate in front of him along with a cup of hot coffee.

"Non. Why? What's wrong?" asked LeBeau as he and Carter looked at the radioman.

"I'll get to that in a moment. Okay, first, I spoke with Tiger and she will come tomorrow afternoon at 1600 hours for the fitting. I then contacted Bluebird and spoke with him. He said he could stop by about 1545 hours. He figures by arriving about fifteen minutes before Tiger, he could keep the Colonel busy for about forty-five minutes; any longer he feels will arouse the Colonel's suspicion, and he's right. That should be plenty of time for Tiger to arrive, have her fitting, and leave before the Colonel knows she's been here. So, you and Newkirk will have a very short time to work with." He shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

"No problem, mon ami. We will have Tiger in and out before the Colonel suspects anything. What about our Paris contact?"

"Haven't heard anything yet. I left Baker monitoring the radio. Olsen and Saunders are working on the tunnel areas for the wedding and reception. They said there's a good chance they could have both rooms completed by the eleventh."

"You said there was a problem?" asked Carter.

"Yeah, but I think it's something we should discuss when Newkirk's here as it involves all four of us."

LeBeau and Carter exchange concerned looks before turning their friend. "Sounds serious, mon ami."

"I wouldn't say it's serious," Kinch explained. "But it's definitely a problem for us anyway."

Just then Newkirk climbed into the barracks. He struck the hidden mechanism.

"Blimey, there's nothing else I can do with that bleeding's gown until after Tiger has her fitting." He looked at Kinch. "Do you know yet when she's coming?"

"Tiger will be here tomorrow at 1600 hours," LeBeau told him getting up. "You want some breakfast?"

"Nah, just some coffee, mate. Me fingers need a break." He accepted the coffee cup gratefully from the Frenchman. After taking a sip, he looked around and saw three grim faces. "What's wrong? What the bloody hell happened now?"

"It's nothing serious, Newkirk," Kinch began. "But while I was going over the list of what still has to be done, I just realized we don't have any dress uniforms for ourselves."

"Sacre chat!" LeBeau murmured closing his eyes and slapping his forehead. "He's right. We do not have anything appropriate to wear to this occasion."

"Blimey, mate," Newkirk said with a shake of his bowed head. "You call that nothing serious?"

Kinch shrugged. "Sorry. I didn't remember it until I realized we still had to have Colonel Hogan's dress uniform cleaned and pressed." He tossed the pen on the table.

"What are we gonna do?" asked Carter.

"I haven't the slightest idea, Andrew," Kinch said running his hands down his face before clasping them together and resting his chin on them, elbows on the table. "I'm open to any suggestions." Nobody said anything

"What else is there still to be done?" asked LeBeau.

"Let's see….these are the only things still to be done. The food and the cake; the wedding dress and veil; the music along with the rooms for the wedding and the reception; confirming the time of the wedding; the floral arrangements for the wedding and reception; the bouquet for Tiger; get rid of Klink and Schultz for a few days; borrow Klink's white linen tablecloth, silverware, napkins, wine glasses, heating trays to keep the food warm, use one of the wash buckets and fill it with ice to chill the champagne and the juice for David and clean and press the Colonel's dress uniform."

LeBeau let out a deep breath. "Well, the tiara should be finished this afternoon and I can probably have the veil done in twenty-four hours. The cake I will make on the twelfth and the food the day of the wedding. The music and record player I can store in the tunnel we are using for the reception. We should be able to confirm the time for the wedding later today."

"And with any luck, unless there's a problem, the wedding dress should be finished no later than the eleventh," said Newkirk.

"Sounds like everything is coming together, doesn't it?" asked Carter.

"I would agree except for the part about us not having anything to wear to the wedding," added Newkirk. "I mean, this is the Gov'nor's wedding we're talkin' about, mate. We can't show up dressed in what we wear every bleedin' day. It wouldn't be appropriate."

"Well, Colonel Hogan would understand," Carter chimed in hopefully.

"I'm sure he would, mate. But I for one would feel bloody awkward dressed in this outfit for the Colonel's nuptials. Andrew, wouldn't you feel funny wearin' that bloody jacket of yours to the wedding? Now be honest."

Carter shrugged. "You're right, I guess. Boy, I wish I knew what we could do instead." He rested his head against one fist with his elbow on the table, looking depressed.

Just then, the barracks door opened and Hogan strolled inside, letting the door close behind him. He looked around at his men and noticed they all looked depressed and dejected. Grabbing his coffee cup off the table and poured himself a cup of coffee. Taking a drink he approached the men.

"What's with you guys?" he said. "You all look like you lost your last friends in camp."

"It's okay, Colonel," Kinch replied. "We'll figure it out hopefully."

"Problem?" asked Hogan taking another drink.

"We hope not, Colonel," replied Carter. He saw the look Newkirk was giving him. "I mean, it's nothing we can't handle, sir."

"Okay. Just thought I'd ask." Hogan turned and started in the direction of his quarters and suddenly stopped. Turning, he again approached the table and rested a foot on the bench, balancing on his other leg. "All right, I want to know if there's a problem. Perhaps I can help somehow? Consider it my gift to you guys for all you're doing to make mine and Tiger's wedding special for us. Now tell me what the problem is."

"I think we'd better tell him," Kinch finally answered grimly. "Because I haven't got any ideas this time."

Newkirk looked apologetically at Hogan. "Gov'nor, we just realized we don't have anything to wear to your wedding. I mean, you'll be in your dress uniform and we…well, we're gonna feel sort of out of place dressed as we are, sir."

Hogan was quiet for a moment. "You guys don't have to dress up for my wedding," he said. "You'll be fine as you are. I promise you will never be out of place. Not at my wedding, not anywhere."

"See? I told you the Colonel wouldn't have a problem with us coming as we are," Carter told Newkirk.

Newkirk rolled his eyes at Carter before looking again at Hogan. "We appreciate that, sir. But this is your wedding we're talkin' about here. We need to do this the right way. We'd appreciate any suggestions, sir."

Draining his coffee cup, Hogan sighed as he mulled over his team's problem. He didn't care his men didn't have any dress uniforms; and he didn't care if they were dressed in their everyday uniforms. It didn't matter to him and he knew it wouldn't matter to Tiger or any of the wedding guests. He looked at each of his men before he spoke.

"Well, if you really want to dress fancy for this wedding, why don't you wear the jackets you wear when you serve as waiters at one of Klink's dinners?"

"Hey, yeah," Kinch said. "I forgot all about those. Thanks, Colonel."

Smiling, and glad he could make his men happy, Hogan stood on the floor, turned and began to pour himself another cup of coffee. "Just do me one favor, huh guys?"

"What's that, Colonel?" asked LeBeau curious.

Hogan walked in the direction of his quarters. Gripping the doorknob, he turned partially and looked at the men. "Just promise me you won't wear the red jackets. I don't want four men looking like bellboys at the Hauserhoff hotel at my wedding." Smirking, he walked inside his quarters closing the door behind him and leaving four smiling faces looking at the closed door of their commander's quarters. (1)

* * *

(1) The red jackets the guys wore can be seen in Evening Of The Generals, Season 3. The white jackets can be seen in the episode The Tower, Season 2.


	11. Chapter 11A Second Diversion

**Chapter 11-A Second Diversion**

It was now July ninth, and as promised, the tiara was completed and given to Carter who gave it to LeBeau who thought it was a magnificent piece of work; possibly the best the workshop had ever done. The fake diamonds reflected the light even from the light given by the lamps in the tunnel, and showed rainbow colors which sparkled like genuine diamonds. After things had quieted down later the night before, LeBeau went to work making the bridal veil by attaching the proper amount of lace to the tiara. Pausing in his work, he allowed a smile to appear on his face as he thought of the exchange between him and Newkirk when they made the wedding gown for Burkhalter's niece, Frieda.

"_I still think you made that train too long," Newkirk argued after they had gotten Schultz to try on the wedding gown._

"_It is __**not**__ too long," LeBeau responded gathering the lace of the long train in his arms._

"_I still say it would be much more stylish with a short train," the Englander was quick to point out._

"_Not when it has to cover a big caboose!" the Frenchman pointed out emphatically. (1)_

LeBeau chuckled and shook his head. After all, Frieda was 210 pounds; Tiger was about 125 pounds if that. Definitely a long train was not necessary in her case. So LeBeau decided to make the train hang about at Tiger's waist. Then with a sigh, he went back to work on the veil. He hadn't been working long when Newkirk walked into the room.

"How's it coming?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"All right so far," LeBeau responded not stopping in what he was doing. "Taking a break?"

"Only for a minute," Newkirk replied leaning against the table watching the Frenchman work. "Since I can't do anything else with the gown until after the fittin', I thought I'd help with the tunnels for the reception and the wedding. How's the train comin'?"

LeBeau held it up for the Englander to see. "You tell me, mon ami." He folded his arms and waited as Newkirk examined LeBeau's handiwork.

"Hey, that's pretty good, mate," he said handing it back to LeBeau.

"You really think so?" LeBeau asked, proud that Newkirk had approved of his handiwork. "Merci, Pierre."

Newkirk smirked. "Sure. And for once you got the train just the right length," he kidded. He grinned at LeBeau's sour expression and knew he had gotten him again. "And besides, unlike Frieda, Tiger has a small caboose and a long train would take away from the gown."

LeBeau grinned back knowing Newkirk was baiting him again. "Precisely. We want the Colonel to see the gown and how magnifique she will look in it."

Newkirk folded his arms. "Y'know, mate, I have to admit at first I didn't think we could get all this work done in time."

LeBeau raised an eyebrow. "And now you do?"

Newkirk smirked. "Yeah, I do. I mean, we still have several things left to do. But providing there's no sudden surprises or problems, I actually think we just might be able to pull this off. I really do." He looked at his watch. "Well, I'd best get back to helpin' the others with those rooms." He turned and walked toward the exit, but paused in the doorway. "Hey, Louie."

"Oui?"

"Even if we pull this off, I'll still punch you in the ruddy nose if you volunteer us again for craziness like this." He ducked and laughed as the first object LeBeau could grab flew past his head. Picking it up, Newkirk tossed it back onto the table and still laughing, left the Frenchman to continue his work alone.

* * *

Kinch was seated at the radio when the message came in from their contact in Paris. Snatching up his pen, he hastily wrote down the information as a grin appeared on his face. When he was finished, he grabbed the microphone.

"We copy Crème Brulee," he said. "Great work. We appreciate this more than you know. Papa Bear over and out." Smiling, he tore the page off his clipboard, folded it, and tucked it into his outer jacket pocket. _One less problem now._ Taking out his notepad, Kinch crossed off Klink's one-week trip to Paris and confirming the time of the wedding. He studied the remaining items to be accomplished. _Okay. Everybody except Tiger knows the time of the exact wedding and we can tell her when she comes for her fitting later today._ Kinch made sure he notated one new item and circled it; and that item was: Wedding, July 13th, at 1930 hours.

* * *

Klink was busy signing papers at his desk when there was a knock on his door.

"Come in," he said without looking up. He heard the door open before he laid down his pen and looked up, elbows on the edge of his desk and hands clasped in front of his face. Sergeant Schultz entered and saluted.

"Herr Kommandant, Colonel Hogan is here as ordered."

Klink returned the salute as Hogan squeezed his way into the office without being asked. He gave Klink a sloppy salute and waited to see what the Kommandant wanted. With a glance at the American, Klink's expression made Hogan a bit nervous. Something felt out of sync to the American. "Schultz, leave us and close the door behind you, but wait outside."

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant." Schultz leaned forward towards Hogan. "What did you do this time?" he asked Hogan.

Before Hogan could answer, Klink slowly stood up. "I said OUT!"

"Jawohl." Schultz gave Hogan one last look before exiting the inner office. Alone now, Klink slowly sat back down and gave the Colonel his complete attention.

"Colonel Hogan, I ordered you here because of a very distressing telephone call I received a few minutes ago. It was about you."

Both of Hogan's eyebrows arched in surprise. "Me sir? Who from?"

"The Gestapo."

Hogan stiffened just a bit but kept his reaction hidden. This was the last thing he needed five days before he was to be married. He knew he and his men and not committed any acts of sabotage of late, nor had they had any missions from London of late. So what did the Gestapo, probably Hochstetter, want with him now? With five days before the wedding, Hogan hated the idea he would have to evacuate the camp.

"But I haven't done anything, sir," Hogan said calmly while inside his emotions were all over the place. "I've appeared at every roll call, made sure I had on my make-up so I looked presentable and…."

"SILENCE!" Klink shouted slamming both hands, palms downward, on top of his desk. Hogan, uncharacteristically, shut his mouth. He had never seen Klink act like this before. The Kommandant stared at his American counterpart. "Hogan, I don't need the Gestapo coming here. But considering things have been too quiet of late where you're concerned, it shouldn't come as a surprise. However, I was ordered to have you taken to the cooler immediately. A Gestapo officer is on his way and will be here shortly to interrogate you. Now I have no idea what it is you're being accused of this time, nor do I want to know. But whatever it is you're accused of, or whatever it is you've done, I suggest you do whatever you have to do and pray they won't have you shot by a firing squad."

"But Kommandant…." Hogan started to say.

"SCHUUUUULTZ!" Klink bellowed cutting Hogan off.

The office door quickly opened and a nervous Schultz came into the office. "Ja...Jawohl Herr Kommandant," he stammered.

"Schultz, take Colonel Hogan to the cooler and lock him up. A Gestapo officer will be here shortly to interrogate him. Also, he is to have no visitors. I trust I have made myself clear?"

"Ja-_wohl_, Herr Kommandant," Schultz replied before gently grabbing Hogan's arm and escorting him out of the office, pulling the door shut behind him. Standing on the porch of the Kommandantur, Schultz leaned towards Hogan. "Colonel Hogan, have you been up to some monkey business? What does the Gestapo want? I've never seen the Kommandant so angry with you."

Hogan sighed as he looked around the compound and saw the faces of many of the prisoners watching him, waiting. "I have no idea what they want with me, Schultz," he said. "For once, you know as much as I do." He shrugged. "As far as Klink is concerned, he'll get over it. He knows without me around this would be just another war." He then stepped down the steps of the Kommandantur slowly, his eyes still scanning the compound. Removing his crush cap, Hogan ran a hand over his dark hair then replaced his crush cap alerting the men in the compound to prepare to evacuate the camp and stand by. He then let Schultz lead him in the direction of the cooler.

* * *

Carter, looking through the faucet periscope followed Hogan and Schultz until they were out-of-sight. He looked over at Kinch sitting at the table with Newkirk and LeBeau.

"The Colonel and Schultz just headed in the direction of the cooler," he said. "And the Colonel gave the pre-evacuation and stand by sign."

Kinch looked at his watch and got up as did LeBeau and Newkirk. "Okay, I'll go and meet Tiger outside the emergency tunnel and bring her back here. You two be ready to do what has to be done because I don't know how long Bluebird will be able to keep Colonel Hogan occupied. Carter, keep watch. If you see Bluebird leaving camp, give a holler." He then looked at the others. "Let's go." The trio headed down into the tunnel where Kinch quickly checked the pistol he would use and found it fully loaded. As it was afternoon, there was no need to change clothes. After checking his watch again, he climbed up the ladder and exited through the emergency tunnel.

* * *

Hogan sat alone in his cell with his feet up on the edge of the bed and his arms wrapped around his legs. He was positive the men in the compound had seen him give the pre-evacuation and stand by order and he also knew Kinch would make sure everybody was organized once they saw Major Hochstetter come barreling through the front gates and realized he was wasn't coming back this time. Hogan rested his chin on his knees. _What had happened? He knew things had been quiet lately. Perhaps TOO quiet? Maybe that was it? Or had an underground operative been captured and talked? Perhaps that was it. _Hogan pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. Kinch would get in touch with Tiger and let her know. And if necessary, his men would alert the underground and get them to safety. He sighed suddenly weary. How could this be happening only days before his wedding? And worse of all, he was locked in a cell that had no tunnel entrance so if this was it, he had no way to see his men one last time. Looking up, Hogan rested the back of his head against the wall behind him and let out a deep breath. _I'll buy you guys as much time as I can. Kinch, get them all to safety and forget about me._

* * *

The large black staff car with the Gestapo flags flapping in the breeze pulled up outside the Kommandantur. The front passenger door opened and a six foot tall, blond, blue-eyed Gestapo officer stepped out and glanced around momentarily before walking up the three steps of the Kommandantur and inside the door.

Klink was leaning back in his office chair with feet up on his desk with legs crossed and absorbed in the contents of the latest issue of Sexy Frauleins magazine when there was a knock on his door. He quickly shoved the magazine in his desk drawer, put his feet on the floor, and sat up straight. Grabbing his pen he pretended to be reviewing some paperwork. "Come in," he said not stopping what he was doing.

The door opened and the Gestapo officer, carrying an attache case walked in; his face unreadable. Klink looked up. _Thank God it's not Hochstetter. But I recognize this officer and he frightens me more than Hochstetter ever could. Hogan, what have you done this time?_

The Gestapo officer, who's insignia identified him as a Captain, raised his hand to Klink. "Heil Hitler."

Klink swallowed nervously as he looked into those cold blue eyes and saw no compassion in them whatsoever. "Heil Hitler. How may I be of assistance to the Gestapo?"

"I trust you have followed the orders of the Gestapo when you received the phone call, Kommandant?"

Klink smiled nervously. "Yes, sir. I followed the instructions to the letter. Colonel Hogan is locked in the cooler and waiting for you at this moment. Captain, I am curious about something. Exactly what is it Colonel Hogan is supposed to have done?"

Fuchs leaned forward, his face taking on a sinister expression. "Kommandant, the Gestapo is not obligated to tell you anything. I would like to question the prisoner right now. Depending on his answers, I may or may not be taking him to Berlin for more intensive questioning." He smirked in a way which made Klink shiver. "If I have to take Colonel Hogan to Berlin, and Major Hochstetter and I have to question him further, there is a good chance he won't be coming back." Fuchs noticed the Kommandant wilt before his eyes. "Now, I'd like to see the prisoner."

"Yes, sir. Schuuuuuuultz!" Klink bellowed. The door opened and the overweight guard stepped inside and saluted.

"Herr Kommandant?"

"Schultz, this is Captain Fuchs of the Gestapo. You will escort him to Colonel Hogan's cell and help him with whatever he needs."

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant."

* * *

Kinch helped Tiger climb down the ladder and into the tunnel where she was greeted warmly by Carter, Newkirk and LeBeau.

"Kinch said you want me to try on the wedding gown to see how it looks?" she said.

"Oui," LeBeau said. "It is a wedding gown that can double as an evening gown. We have arranged for Colonel Hogan to be distracted while you are here. And as we only have about thirty to forty-five minutes at the most, we should have you get changed." LeBeau pointed her in the direction of the changing room while Newkirk hurried to the other room which was also covered with a sheet hanging over the entrance; the changing room had a sheet hanging from above shutting off the changing room from prying eyes.

After about five minutes Tiger emerged from behind the sheet wearing the gown, her brown eyes bright with tears and a brilliant smile on her face. She fought not to cry as her hands ran down the soft material.

"Do not cry, Tiger," LeBeau said with a smile as he watched her slowly turn around in a circle modeling the gown. Just then Newkirk appeared carrying the veil and adjusted it on Tiger's head; he put the stool in front of her, and then he and LeBeau helped her step up onto the stool so they could have a better view as they looked. Standing nearby, Carter and Kinch both smiled as they watched.

"You sure look pretty, ma'am," Carter said bashfully looking at the material clinging to Tiger's body in all the appropriate places.

Kinch, one arm straight out with palm resting against the wall behind Carter agreed. "You two really did a fabulous job," he said admiringly.

"Oui," Tiger agreed, " It is c'est exquis!"(2) She then placed both hands over her heart as she looked at Hogan's team. "Les mots ne peuvent pas exprimer quel est dans mon coeur."(3)

LeBeau tightly gripped her hands in his, and kissed her on one cheek. "Etre heureux," he said with a wide smile.(4) Then, releasing her hands, glanced at Newkirk. "Okay, Pierre, we had best get everything done. There's no way of knowing how long Bluebird can keep Colonel Hogan occupied."

Newkirk chuckled. "You read me nervous mind."

* * *

Hogan sat nervously in his cell, having not moved from where he sat going over in his mind what he could do to distract Hochstetter giving his men a chance to get out. He was suddenly brought out of his thoughts by the sound of a cell door closing down the hall, and footsteps approaching his cell, and knew whatever he came up had better be quick. Looking between the bars, Hogan put his feet on the floor and his hands on the bed, palms down; he watched Schultz put the key into the lock. As the large guard held open the cell door, he looked sadly at Hogan who could feel his uniform shirt sticking to his body under his jacket. _Get them out, Kinch ! _Hogan couldn't hear the voice of whoever was speaking to Schultz and only saw him salute whoever it was and walk away, intent on leaving Hogan and Hochstetter alone. Hogan closed his eyes briefly, took a deep breath, and waited until he saw the officer enter the cell. His eyes widened like saucers.

"Bluebird? _You're_ the Gestapo officer who's suppose to question me?" Hogan slowly got to his feet, completely stunned. Then his eyes suddenly narrowed. "Or is your boss, the bull terrier, joining us for the fun and games?"(5)

Fuchs smiled warmly at his longtime friend and reached out a hand which Hogan took in a firm grasp and shook. "No Hochstetter this time, Colonel, just me." He let go of Hogan's hand and motioned for the American to sit down on the bed; he sat beside him. "Sorry I had to scare you to death and let you think it was Hochstetter who was coming, but I needed to see you before your wedding about something, and this was the only way I could think of for us to meet privately without interruption."

Hogan let out a deep breath. "On my way here, I gave the signal for a pre-evacuation and stand by. I was sure this was it."

Bluebird couldn't conceal a small laugh. "I'm sorry about that, Colonel. I really am. But I thought it was important that we talk before the wedding."

Hogan suddenly eyed Bluebird suspiciously. "Did my men have something to do with you coming here?"

Now it was Bluebird's turn to feign confusion, grateful that Kinch had alerted him about Tiger and it was important to keep the Colonel distracted for at least thirty minutes. He shook his head. "I have not spoken to your men. If I had do you think I would have chosen this means to come and see you? Why? Was ist los?"

Hogan knew Bluebird was as skilled at spinning tales as he was, and could look a person right in the face and tell a believable lie, so Hogan, while not certain, decided to give him the benefit or a doubt for now. "What hasn't happened," Hogan chuckled. He quickly gave highlights of his men's strange behavior of late and seemed to have included Schnitzer the vet and camp medic Joe Wilson. Bluebird could not contain himself when Hogan told him about 'the talk' Wilson wanted to have with him, he almost doubled over in laughter. He reminded himself he had to remember to tell Lilli about that one

"Not that I'm not glad to see you, but why are you here?" asked Hogan.

Bluebird sat his attaché case on his lap and opened it. "I rushed the paperwork through with my contacts in Paris…." he smiled when he found the envelope he was looking for, and handed it to Hogan. "…it's my wedding gift to you and Tiger. Lilli will bring hers to the wedding."

Confused, Hogan opened the unsealed envelope and, after removing the document inside, allowed his eyes to scan it. A smile appeared slowly as he rubbed the back of his neck. Finally, he looked up at his friend. "Fritz, I don't know what to say. This is so generous of you. Thank you."

"You're welcome, my friend. I figured you and Tiger would have an easier time with a French marriage license than a German one." He took the document and envelope from Hogan's hands and slipped it back inside the attaché case. "After the wedding the minister will sign it, and I will sign as a witness."

Hogan rubbed his hands together. "You gave Klink a nervous breakdown in addition to giving me one. The way Klink was talking I thought he was going to have me transferred to Colditz unless the Gestapo took me away to Berlin with them. He and I were both positive Hochstetter was on his way."

"I'm sorry about that. But I knew if Klink figured the Gestapo wanted to interrogate you, he'd stay as far away as he could knowing how he feels about the Gestapo. I suspect from what you're telling me I was right."

Hogan laughed. "Also, before I forget, thank you for walking Tiger down the aisle, and thank Lilli for being her Matron of Honor. And even though he's too small, thank David for being our ring bearer."

"It's our pleasure, Rob." Fuchs checked his watch and slowly got up. "I'd best be going. I promised Lilli I would take her out to dinner tonight."

"Just out of curiosity…"Hogan wrapped his arms around himself. "…what are you going to tell Klink?"

"I've got the perfect story." Bluebird walked over to the bars. "GUARD!" he shouted. It took a few moments before Schultz, out of breath, could be heard hurrying in their direction, his rifle dragging on the floor. "You can unlock the door, Sergeant, and release Colonel Hogan and myself."

Schultz looked unsure as to what he should do. "Herr Captain, I don't think I should release Colonel Hogan without the Kommandant's say-so."

Fuchs' face got such a look on it that it chilled Hogan to the bone to watch. He saw Schultz swallow hard. "You dare to disobey the Gestapo, Sergeant?"

"Herr Captain, I,I,I…."

"Silence! Now I order you to open the cell door and allow both of us to leave. I will explain to Colonel Klink why Colonel Hogan is being released."

"Jawohl, Herr Captain!" Schultz said saluting. Fuchs saluted back and while Schultz fumbled with his keys, the Gestapo Captain looked over his shoulder at Hogan and winked. Hogan smirked and shook his head, amused. Finally, the cell door was unlocked and held open.

"Danke, Sergeant," Fuchs said calmly. "Now, you will come with us to the Kommandant's office.

* * *

Klink was trying to go over some of the papers he had in front of him and found himself unable to. His mind kept going back to Hogan and what this Gestapo Captain might be doing to him. Despite this not being the first time he'd met Captain Fuchs, there was something about his demeanor that frightened him more than Major Hochstetter. At least with Hochstetter a person knew what he was getting; but this Captain Fuchs was a completely different case. His cold blue eyes cut right through to your soul. There was a knock on the door.

"Come in," he said. The door opened and Schultz ambled in followed by Fuchs and a contrite-looking Hogan with thumbs hooked in his side pockets.

"Captain Fuchs and Colonel Hogan to see you, Herr Kommandant." Schultz stood aside allowing Fuchs and Hogan to enter.

"Schultz, diss-missed!" Klink said wearily. He and Schultz exchanged salutes before the guard exited the office. Then the Kommandant folded his hands on top of his desk and looked at Fuchs. "Well, Captain, you only questioned Colonel Hogan for about thirty-five minutes. So, is he still a prisoner of Stalag 13, or is he headed for Gestapo headquarters in Berlin?"

Fuchs glanced with disdain at the American officer briefly before turning his attention back to Klink. "After questioning the prisoner for several minutes, I am convinced he has no useful information regarding what the Gestapo is investigating."

"That's wonderful…." Klink exclaimed with a smile and suddenly remembered he was speaking with the Gestapo and became extremely nervous again. He was so nervous he didn't notice Hogan sneaking three cigars from Klink's humidor and sticking them inside his inner jacket pocket. "I mean, I'm sorry Colonel Hogan couldn't be of any assistance in your investigation."

"So am I, Kommandant. I will take my leave of you." Fuchs turned his attention to Hogan. "Colonel Hogan, should I find out you were lying to me, I will be back." He then opened the door and exited.

"Charming fellow," Hogan said sarcastically reaching inside his jacket and pulling out a cigar. Sticking it in his mouth, he picked up Klink's lighter off the desk and lit it. After taking a puff and blowing out the smoke, he looked at Klink. "Oh, I'm sorry, Kommandant," Hogan reached inside his jacket again. "Would you like a cigar? I have an extra one." He pulled one out and handed it to the Kommandant. He then held the lighter and lit the Kommandant's cigar.

After Klink took a puff, he held the cigar in his hand and looked at it admiringly. "This is a good cigar, Hogan. Tastes better than my own."

Hogan didn't respond but allowed a chuckle as he rolled the cigar around slowly as he held it between his lips. He just couldn't shake this feeling his men were behind Bluebird having shown up, and this time it had scared him when he thought it was Hochstetter coming; even to the point of giving the pre-evacuation and stand by order. He'd have to have a 'little talk' with them. Enough was enough.

* * *

(1) Scene is from Gowns By Yvette, Season 5.

(2)"C'est exquis!" means "Exquisite!"

(3) "Les mots ne peuvent pas exprimer quel est dans mon coeur" means "Words cannot express what is in my heart."

(4) "Etre heureux" means "Be happy."

(5) A bull terrier was accepted by the AKC(American Kennel Club) in 1936. The breed began to find their way into America as early as 1870. A bull terrier was owned by General Patton. "Sergeant Stubby", a bull terrier, was an unofficial member and mascot of the 102nd Infantry Regiment(Connecticut National Guard), 26th Infantry ("Yankee") Division, during its deployment to Europe as part of the American Expeditionary Force during WW1.


	12. Chapter 12Fibs, Fibs and More Fibs

**Chapter 12-Fibs, Fibs, and More Fibs**

Hogan, after entering the barracks, looked around. Not seeing his team anywhere he walked directly to the double bunk and struck the hidden mechanism. As soon as the lower bunk rattled upward and the ladder dropped, he stepped over the bed frame, onto the ladder, and climbed down into the tunnel. Although not as angry as he originally was, he was still upset. He soon found Kinch sitting at the radio reading a magazine. Hearing footsteps Kinch looked up, saw Hogan's face, and put down his magazine.

"Something wrong, Colonel?" he asked already suspecting what was bothering his commanding officer.

"Where's Carter, Newkirk and LeBeau?"

"They're in one of the other tunnels I think."

"Get them and then come back here. We have to have a little talk."

Kinch slowly edged off the stool. "Sure thing, Colonel. It'll just take me a minute." He disappeared down one of the other areas of the tunnel while Hogan, arms wrapped around himself, began to pace back and forth in the radio room. He kept reminding himself to control his temper when he spoke with his team about scaring him into thinking the operation had been compromised and giving the sign to prepare to evacuate which, to Hogan, was bad enough in and of itself, no serious harm had been done. Still, it was something he just couldn't let slide. He let out a deep breath as he paused in his pacing and looked up at the dirt ceiling. Hearing footsteps behind him he looked around to see his men entering the radio room; he turned to face them.

"Kinch said you wanted to speak with us, Colonel?" asked LeBeau looking innocent.

Hogan sighed and gave the men his best 'no nonsense' look. "I just spent about thirty to forty-five minutes locked in the cooler believing the Gestapo, meaning Major Hochstetter, was coming to interrogate me, possibly remove me from camp and taking me to Berlin. In fact, so sure was I about this I gave the signal to prepare to evacuate the camp." He started to pace slowly this time as he continued. "As I sat in my cell imagining my luck had run out, imagine my surprise when Bluebird walked into my cell." He stopped pacing again and stared at his men directly. "Now, would any of you happen to know anything about that?" Hogan's eyes went from man-to-man finally landing on Carter. "How about it Carter? You look like you have something to say."

Carter's eyes widened like saucers. "Me, sir? I don't know anything. What I mean is, we overheard Klink mention the Gestapo was coming to interrogate you and he had orders to put you in the cooler. That was pretty much it, sir."

"Uh huh," Hogan remarked. "How about you, Newkirk? You know anything about it?"

"Sorry, Gov'nor, but I was below in the tunnel during that time so there's nothing I can tell you." He gave Hogan one of his patented grins which quickly disappeared when he saw Hogan was not amused.

"And I was helping Pierre, mon Colonel," LeBeau quickly added.

"I see. What about you, Kinch? It's your job to always know what's going on as my second-in-command. So how about it? Can you add anything to this mystery we have?"

Kinch licked his lips and glanced nervously at his friends before looking at his commanding officer who stood in front of him waiting. "Sorry, Colonel. Unfortunately I know as much as you do. I mean, like Carter said, we heard Klink's conversation over the coffee pot and saw you and Schultz leave Klink's office and that was all. Then I noticed the Gestapo car pull up outside Klink's office and got nervous; especially when we saw you give the pre-evacuation sign."

Hogan pursed his lips and nodded. "Seems like nobody knows anything. Okay, I will tell all of you what I think. I don't know what you guys are up to but first you had Wilson distract me, then Schnitzer, and obviously now Bluebird. If you guys want me to stay away for awhile, just tell me. I'll understand. And if you _ever_ pull another trick like this last one again, I'll….I'll…I'll search every tunnel and see exactly what kind of arrangements you're making for my wedding and then court-martial each of you to a rank that's below private."

"But sir, there is no rank below…." Carter began only to be stopped by an elbow to the ribs by Newkirk.

"I'll invent one," Hogan said in his authoritative voice.

The horrified looks on his men's faces told Hogan he had made his point. His face softened. "Now if you gentlemen will excuse me, I have to alert the barracks chiefs the evacuation order was a false alarm." He turned away and started to leave and suddenly stopped again. Turning with narrowed eyes, he sniffed the air; the scent was quite recognizable.

"Is Tiger here?" he asked looking at his men.

"What makes you say that, Colonel?" asked Kinch innocently. "We haven't seen or spoken with Tiger since the last time."

Hogan sniffed the air again. "I smell her perfume and it's recent. Was she here?"

"Non, mon Colonel. And that is the truth. What you smell is probably the batch of aftershave some of the men were making."

Rolling his eyes Hogan turned and walked away. Now he was more curious than ever. Whatever they were up to or had planned, it was obvious to him Tiger was also involved in it.

* * *

Once they were sure Hogan had left the tunnel and they were alone in the radio room, the men sagged with relief. Kinch collapsed onto the stool at the radio table.

"That was a close one," he muttered wiping the perspiration off his forehead.

"You got that right, mate," Newkirk agreed. "For a bloody moment there I thought the Colonel was gonna let us have it with both barrels."

"He may yet if we don't watch it," Kinch added. "We still have to have Tiger come in for a final fitting, so we'd better be careful how we distract the Colonel when the time comes." He took out his notepad and pen. "Okay, how much has been completed since last time?"

"Let's see," LeBeau looked thoughtful. "I put the record player and some records in the tunnel area being used for the reception and the wedding veil is finished."

"Okay," Kinch murmured scratching them off the list.

"And with luck I should have the wedding dress finished by the eleventh," Newkirk said. "Most of it's done now anyway. After Tiger's final fitting it'll just leave a few things to do on it and it'll be finished."

"And on the eleventh we will make the floral arrangements and prepare the bouquet. It's cool enough down here that the flowers will keep. Of course Klink's garden will be minus some flowers," LeBeau said with an amused grin."

"And don't forget we have to clean and press the Colonel's dress uniform and our white jackets," Carter reminded them.

"And the cake will be baked on the twelfth as well and I'll prepare the food the day of the wedding," LeBeau added.

"Sounds good," Kinch said wearily. "Now, how about the tunnels for the wedding and the reception?"

Newkirk stuck his hands in his pants pockets. "Olsen and Baker said the tunnels will be finished on the twelfth. They'll also lay the red carpet down at the end as the very last thing. Both tunnels are covered with a hanging sheet."

"Andrew, tomorrow's the tenth. I want you and LeBeau to clean Klink's office and you'll slip the letter in with his mail. As everything's set in Paris, when Klink calls I'll make sure the call comes into our switchboard. LeBeau, you'll have to disguise your voice and pretend you are a representative of the hotel and confirm Klink's reservation."

"It would be my extreme pleasure, monsieur," LeBeau said with an exaggerated bow.

Kinch tucked his notepad and pen back in his pocket. "That leaves us with one slightly big problem," he said."

"Oui. What distraction do we use when Tiger is needed here for her final fitting."

* * *

Tiger sat in front of her bureau staring into the mirror. She couldn't get the image of the beautiful wedding gown being made for her out of her mind. She could still remember how the material clung to her body and how it felt wearing it. She had never had or worn anything so beautiful and didn't know how she would ever be able to thank Hogan's men for what they were doing. She knew Hogan's team was quite efficient and ingenious, but what they were doing even surpassed what she believed them to be capable of.

Cupping her chin in both hands with elbows on the dresser, Tiger let out a deep breath and gazed at her reflection, a wide smile on her face. In less than one week she would be Mrs. Robert Hogan. She couldn't wait for the day to come. She had waited for this moment since the day she had first met the handsome American officer. Closing her eyes, she could recall the first time they had met. And considering the way their first meeting went, it never occurred to Tiger they would ever reach this stage where they were, in a few days, to take the vows of marriage. Her mind drifted back to that first meeting.

_The mission was suppose to be a simple one. Papa Bear and his men had stolen one of the Germans new Tiger Tanks, taken it apart, and made a set of blueprints to pass along to the Allies. But to do that, they needed someone from the underground who could pick them up and get them to the Allies. Papa Bear's plan was to send one of his men, Corporal LeBeau, to meet the agent, change clothes with him, and allow him to be captured under the guise of being Corporal LeBeau._

_Tiger could not forget the annoyed look on the American Colonel's face when she climbed up the ladder and stepped into the barracks. She smiled coyly and blushed at the whistles she received from the other prisoners in the barracks. Then, she saw the Colonel sag weakly against the bedpost of the double bunk which housed their hidden tunnel entrance, look up at the ceiling, and shake his head seemingly unhappy that he had been sent a woman to get the blueprints out of camp._

_The minute she first laid eyes on Hogan, she was immediately attracted to him; there was something about him that captured her heart even though she didn't know anything about him other than what she had heard from others in the underground._

"_You are angry at me?" she asked Hogan in perfect English although with a French accent._

"_This is an all male camp. Just where are we suppose to put you?"_

_After that things moved quickly and Tiger was amazed by Hogan's ingenuity in addition to his charm, good looks, personality and devotion to his men and his operation. She saw in Hogan what the others who worked with him saw; a man who could easily leave the others behind and escape, but chose to put others first._

_Finally, LeBeau brought Tiger into Hogan's quarters for him to inspect the Allied uniform he had made. Now donning the uniform in which the blueprints were hidden, Tiger turned completely around for Hogan to check everything out. Since roll call was only a few minutes away, LeBeau handed her the pair of coveralls tucked under his arm for her to put on over the uniform. The plan was for her to stand in formation with Hogan and his men and during the diversion they would create, she would sneak out of camp with the blueprints. LeBeau quickly left the room._

_Now alone, Tiger put on the coveralls. Once finished, she turned around and faced the Colonel, standing face-to-face with him. She sensed Hogan was fighting his attraction even though how she felt was quite evident to him looking into her eyes.(1)_

Tiger could recall exactly what they had said to each other.

"_Colonel Hogan, it is not likely we will ever see each other again, so we can be honest, no?"_

"_No….I mean yeah. Sure."_

"_I volunteered to come here because in the underground we have heard about your operation and know you could escape at anytime, but choose to stay behind and help the others. I was curious, as a woman, about the man in charge, and now I have seen."(2)_

It was at that moment Tiger realized by looking into Hogan's brown eyes that the attraction was strong on both their parts. But since she was positive they wouldn't ever see each other again, they each would at least have this moment to remember always. But as fate would have it, they did see each other; and often whether it involved missions, or just simply needing to take a break from the war and for awhile just to forget. And eventually, the mutual attraction they each felt developed into something much deeper and much more lasting. Tiger sighed and looked lovingly at the engagement ring on her finger. Smiling coyly she pressed the diamond against her lips, kissed it, and chuckled. Becoming Mrs. Robert Hogan was all she ever wanted from the moment she knew she was in love. She had been willing to wait until the war ended, but they both came to the realization that not knowing when the fighting would end, one or neither of them might see the end of the war and it would be better to marry now than to wait. She kissed the diamond again and prayed that this marriage would ensure that Hogan would take extra care so that he would be alive when the war ended.

* * *

Hogan was stretched out on his lower bunk with hands clasped behind his head staring at the bottom of the bunk above. After assuring the barracks leaders in camp that the evacuation order was canceled, he came back to his barracks and decided to relax for awhile. But he couldn't relax because even though he was lying down, his mind was still wondering what his men were up to besides making the arrangements that involved Wilson, Schnitzer, Bluebird and now Tiger. _Aftershave? Somehow I don't think so._ But what could be Tiger's part in having him distracted? And besides, why would she want him distracted to begin with? It was driving him crazy because it meant Tiger was keeping something from him and that wasn't like her. He sat up on the bed, swung his legs over the edge and put his feet on the floor. He was tempted to ask her but she probably wouldn't tell him anyway anymore then his men would tell him. He assumed whatever it was had to be something big for Tiger to be involved. Getting up, Hogan grabbed his coffee cup and walked out of his quarters. He immediately noticed his team weren't in the barracks and assumed they were still in the tunnel. Reaching the pot belly stove, Hogan picked up the coffee pot and poured himself a cup of warm coffee. He then took a drink and sat down at the table.

What could the men be up to that would require Tiger's help; or better yet, what would Tiger be up to that required the help of his men? He took another drink of coffee. Perhaps Kinch and Wilson were right after all; maybe he was just becoming jittery as the date grew closer and his days of bachelorhood were rapidly drawing to an end. And maybe his nervousness was causing him to imagine things where there was nothing. But he was _positive _he had smelled Tiger's perfume in the tunnel. Taking another drink of coffee, he decided to stop thinking about it for now and put it out of his mind; or at least hoped he could.

He looked up as the lower bunk rattled upward and Newkirk and LeBeau climb up and step into the barracks. They noticed the Colonel seated alone at the table as LeBeau struck the hidden mechanism causing the ladder to rise and the bunk to drop over the opening. "You guys taking a break from all your subterfuge?" he asked with a smirk.

"For now Colonel," LeBeau replied as he tied an apron around his waist. "But we will get back to it after dinner."

"Ummmm-hmmmm," was all Hogan said as he drank his coffee. Newkirk and LeBeau stole a glance at each other.

"Something wrong, Colonel?" asked Newkirk as he poured himself a half cup of coffee and sat down at the table next to Hogan.

"No, no. Nothing. Just thinking about something."

Newkirk, after studying the Colonel's face, looked up at LeBeau. "I think we should tell 'im the truth, LeBeau." From the corner of his eyes he saw Hogan look at him.

"Non, mon ami," LeBeau protested having approached the two men. "We cannot! It would ruin everything!"

"He'll find out eventually anyway," Newkirk said seriously. He and Hogan saw LeBeau wave his arms and turn back to the stove, mumbling something in French. But nobody saw the amused grin that appeared when his back was to the others. Newkirk turned back to his commander. "Colonel, Tiger wanted our help in figuring out what kind of wedding gift to get for you. She thought we might have an idea. That was why she came by today."

Hogan studied Newkirk's face with suspicion not sure whether or not to believe him. "A wedding gift?" he asked with arched eyebrows. "Now why would Tiger want to get me a wedding gift?"

Newkirk shrugged and took a drink of coffee. "All we know is that she wanted to do it and asked our opinion as to what to get you. We had no suggestions," he smirked. "I mean, what do you get for the man who has everything including a gorgeous bird?"

Hogan smirked behind his coffee cup. "So true," he agreed. He still didn't know whether or not he believed the Englander's story even though it did make sense. "And she couldn't hang around for a little while longer?"

LeBeau turned around at that point. "Mon Colonel, you know very well a groom is not suppose to see the bride before the wedding. It is tradition."

Hogan rolled his eyes. "LeBeau, in America the groom is not suppose to see the bride the _day of_ the wedding; not the week before."

"In France it is a week before," LeBeau lied. "Trust me. I'm French and know these things. And since I am in charge of the arrangements, it will be a week."

The Colonel gave LeBeau a smirk and shook his head. "Don't you guys think you're carrying things a bit too far here."

"No sir," said Newkirk innocently. "We just want everything to be perfect on your big day is all."

"I can understand that," Hogan said appreciatively. "You've explained about Tiger and Bluebird; now what about Wilson and Schnitzer?"

Newkirk shrugged his shoulders. "All I remember is that Schnitzer told me he wanted to talk to you about what you wanted him and his missus to get you and Tiger. He had asked us but we told him to ask you instead."

"And as far as Wilson was concerned, Colonel, I guess he figured as he is a few years older than you…" LeBeau said without turning around.

"Forget I asked," Hogan said before draining his cup and getting to his feet. He glanced at the Frenchman. "LeBeau, I'll be in my quarters. Call me when dinner's ready."

"Oui Colonel."

Walking to his quarters, Hogan grabbed the doorknob and shook his head. "And _I'm_ the one who taught them _how_ to lie," he said under his breath. After he disappeared into his quarters and closed his door, LeBeau sat down in the spot where Hogan had previously sat and looked at a grinning Newkirk. "I thought for a moment you were going to tell him the truth, mon ami."

"Now LeBeau, don't you know ole Peter Newkirk better than that by now? We've been fibbing to the Gov'nor since we began preparing for his wedding. Why ruin everything now by tellin' the truth?"

* * *

(1)(2) The scene and dialogue with Tiger is from Hold That Tiger, Season 1.


	13. Chapter 13Kommandant Away!

**Chapter 13-Kommandant Away!**

It was now July tenth and Hogan's men knew time was growing short. But while they felt they had a grip on mostly everything, today would be the biggest obstacle in their path and that being Kommandant Klink. After roll call Hogan had poured himself a cup of coffee, then went into his office while his team sat at the table in the common room discussing what they called the 'Klink situation,' finally deciding that with this Hogan should be told about the plan to get Klink and Schultz out of the way for a few days, but not the entire waited until they were eating breakfast.

"Colonel, there's something we need to discuss with you," said Kinch.

Hogan, munching on a slice of toast, looked at his radioman while continuing what he was doing. "What's up? Problems?"

"No sir. It's just that we came up with a way to get Klink and Schultz out of the way before LeBeau has to make the cake and cook the food for the wedding, and we thought you should know what it is because Klink will be telling you anyway when he finds out."

Hogan bit off some more toast. "What is it?" he asked while chewing.

"Well sir," Newkirk began slowly. "We knew we couldn't have Schultz around when LeBeau's cooking. I mean, Schultz's nose is like a bloody radar when it comes to food, so Kinch came up with the idea to have Klink win a contest with the first prize being a one week all expense-paid trip to Paris. That way both Schultzie and Klink will be out of the way for a few days."

Hogan suddenly stopped eating and stared at Newkirk and then Kinch in disbelief. "A contest?" he asked Newkirk. He shook his head. "I know I'm going to regret asking this question, but what kind of contest is Klink suppose to have won?"

Newkirk looked at Carter who looked at LeBeau who looked at Kinch who grinned sheepishly. None of it escaped Hogan. He gazed, amused, at his second. "Well Kinch?" he asked sweetly.

"In thirty-five words or less tell us the Fuhrer's favorite dish," Kinch explained. He saw Hogan stare at him, speechless.

"The Fuhrer's favorite dish?" he finally asked with arched eyebrows. "Do I really want to hear the answer to this question?"

Kinch had a lopsided grin on his face as did the others. "Do you really want to know, Colonel?" LeBeau asked trying not to laugh.

"Go ahead, tell me," Hogan said shaking his head as he braced himself.

"The answer is, in thirty-five words or less…" Kinch began. "The Fuhrer's favorite dish is sauerkraut." He and the others waited.

Hogan, closing his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose and chuckled. Then with a sigh he looked up and chuckled again. "That is, without a doubt, the dumbest question and answer I have ever heard." He chuckled again. "But one so worthy of Klink."

Kinch and the others laughed themselves. "That's why we chose it," Kinch said.

After he composed himself, Hogan became serious. "I appreciate what you guys came up with, but I trust you remember that Klink's adjutant Captain Gruber is away on leave for two weeks? Who is going to replace Klink or have you prepared for that as well?"

"I've contacted the underground about that. They'll have somebody out here later this evening to uh, fill in for Klink while he's gone. And I'll be monitoring the switchboard so when he calls General Burkhalter to have someone sent to fill in, General Kinchmeyer will be acting for the General who is away at Berchtesgaden for a few days."

"And this trip to Paris?" asked Hogan, impressed.

"We've got that covered as well, Gov'nor," Newkirk said. "As Kinch will be monitoring the switchboard, when Klink calls the hotel in Paris to verify his prize, LeBeau will then get on the phone and verify his reservation. All expenses paid, champagne, reservation at a 4-star hotel in gay Paree, meals and several women to keep him happy."

Hogan's eyes widened. "Women? What women? Klink couldn't appeal to Carter's pet mouse Felix."

"We know that, Colonel," Carter explained. "But we reimbursed the French underground for everything including a couple of girls."

"And we included combat pay for them as well, mon Colonel," LeBeau added with a grin.

Hogan was not only impressed but incredulous at what his men had come up with to distract the Kommandant and Schultz. He shook his head in amazement. "I obviously taught you guys well," he said. "Perhaps _TOO_ well."

"We learned from the best," Kinch said with a smile.

Taking a drink of coffee, Hogan suddenly looked worried. "Since you guys learned so well, should I be worried about my day job?" he looked at his men with concern all over his face.

"Heck no, boy, I mean sir," said Carter. "We didn't mean to have you think we don't need you, Colonel. No siree, boy. We'll always need you. We'll always want to…."

"I was just joking, Carter," replied Hogan with a grin, hoping to cut the young Sergeant off before he got going.

"Oh," was all Carter answered looking relieved his commanding officer didn't really feel his men didn't need him anymore. He smiled a lopsided smile.

Reaching in his jacket, Kinch removed an envelope and handed it to Carter. "Here's the letter, Carter. When you and Newkirk go to clean Klink's office, slip this in with his mail."

"Gotcha," the demolitions expert replied stuffing the envelope inside his leather jacket.

Hogan took another drink of his now warm coffee. "What hotel is going to suffer Klink as a guest?"

LeBeau grinned. "The Hotel DeGaulle, mon Colonel. It is by far the classiest place in Paris."

"Not anymore, mate," Newkirk commented with a straight face as he took a sip of coffee.

"What are you saying?" asked LeBeau with narrowed eyes looking at the Englander. "What have you got against the Hotel DeGaulle anyway? You've never even been to Paris!"

Newkirk put a hand on the Frenchman's shoulder and squeezed. He smiled. "Take it easy, mate," he said gently. "I'm sure it's a very nice place. All I saying is that any place where Klink is a guest will never live it down is all."

* * *

Klink was in his office seated at his desk going over some papers, or at least trying to. He found himself unable to concentrate as his mind was on something else, or rather on _someone _else; and that someone was Colonel Hogan. He was still positive Hogan was up to something mainly because he had been looking so happy of late. And to Klink, whenever Hogan was happy that meant Klink was going to be unhappy. He massaged his chin. And that was something he just could not allow.

So lost in thought was he that he didn't hear the knock on the door at first. Then the knock on the door came again, more intense this time. Klink looked up as if from a dream. "Come in!" he ordered.

The door opened and Newkirk, followed by Carter, walked in; both men carried a mop, a bucket of water, a broom, and cleaning rags. They saluted Klink who returned the salute. "What is this?" Klink asked.

"Did you forget, Kommandant?" asked Carter with raised eyebrows. "Today is Thursday. We always clean your office on Thursday."

Klink looked at the two men curiously. With him being so preoccupied with what Hogan was up to he had completely forgotten today was the day two of Hogan's men usually cleaned his office. He waved his arm at them.

"Very well, carry on. Do the cleaning but do it quietly," Klink snapped. "I have work to do."

Carter leaned back and whispered so only Newkirk could hear. "I'll bet. The latest issue of Beautiful Frauleins probably hasn't arrived yet."

"What was that?" Klink shouted.

"Nothing, sir, nothing," Carter said.

"Then get to work!"

"Yes, sir," Newkirk replied as he placed the bucket of water and mop on the floor and began sweeping the floor while Carter began furiously dusting Klink's desk while the Kommandant was trying to do his paperwork.

When Carter started dusting under Klink's nose the Kommandant groaned and leaned back in his chair throwing up his arms at the same time.

"I'll be done in a jiffy, Kommandant," Carter promised.

"Well hurry up!" Klink snapped as he got to his feet and stormed to his office door and opening it, looked out. "Fraulein Hilda! Where is today's mail?"

Keeping his eyes on the Kommandant, Carter quickly pulled the envelope from inside his jacket and shoved it in the stack of mail sitting on the corner of the desk before finishing his dusting. Moments later Klink closed the door and returning to his desk spotted the stack of mail he had been told was waiting for him. Picking it up, he went through the envelopes and suddenly spotted the one Carter had slipped in. It was marked as being from The Lucky German Question Contest. Putting down the other envelopes Klink ripped open the envelope and, pulling out the single sheet of paper inside, quickly read the contents. His eyes suddenly bulged and his mouth formed a perfect 'O'.

"SCHUUUULTZ!" he shouted excitedly.

The door burst open and Sergeant Schultz entered. "Herr Kommandant? You shouted for me?"

"Schultz, I have just received wonderful news," Klink replied looking at his guard.

"Oh?"

"I just received a letter from the Lucky German Question Contest people telling me I won their first prize which is a 7-day all expense paid trip to Paris including a room at the Hotel DeGaulle, meals, and champagne. But I must be there by twelve pm tomorrow afternoon at the latest. Isn't that wonderful?"

Schultz was puzzled. "Herr Kommandant, what is the Lucky German Question Contest?"

Suddenly, Klink's broad smile turned into a frown as he studied the letter again. Neither he or Schultz noticed Newkirk and Carter eying each other as they waited.

"You mean you never heard of the Lucky German Question Contest, Kommandant?" asked Newkirk stopping what he was doing and approaching the desk. Klink shook his head. "They're just the biggest company in all of Germany. Second only to the Schotzie Toy Company of course," Newkirk explained with a wink at Schultz, aware that the guard was the owner of the Schotzie Toy Company.(1)

"It is?" asked a surprised Klink. He and Schultz looked at each other briefly.

"Yes, sir," Carter agreed. "Hey, I have an idea, Kommandant. You said they told you the reservation is at the Hotel DeGaulle?" Klink nodded. "Why don't you just call the hotel?"

"Yes sir, I was just going to suggest that," Newkirk agreed.

"That's an excellent idea," answered Klink picking up the receiver. "Fraulein Hilda, get me the Hotel DeGaulle in Paris."

* * *

The switchboard in the tunnel buzzed. LeBeau, seated at the switchboard with Kinch behind him plugged in.

"Bon jour, Hotel DeGaulle," LeBeau answered in a voice slightly different from his normal one.

"_This is Colonel Klink of Stalag 13. Who am I speaking with?"_

"This is Henri LeClaire, the directeur. How can I assist you Colonel?"

"_I have in my hand a letter stating that I have won a contest and the first prize is a 7-day all expense paid stay at your hotel. I just wanted to verify this information."_

"Congratulations Colonel. If you wish to hold I will check and see if we have a reservation for you. You said your last name is Klink? Can you spell that please?"

"_Klink. Wilhelm Klink. K-l-i-n-k. And yes I'll hold. Danke."_

LeBeau covered the speaker and looking at Kinch could only roll his eyes and grin in amusement as Kinch gave him the 'thumbs up' sign. LeBeau uncovered the speaker.

"Oui, Colonel. I have it right here. Colonel Wilhelm Klink. You have a 7-day reservation good from the eleventh through the seventeenth. Your reservation includes all meals and champagne is included with your meals. However, you must be here no later than twelve p.m. tomorrow or your reservation will be canceled, Colonel."

Klink's face brightened as his eyes widened like saucers.

"_Thank you very much, Mr. LeClaire. I will definitely be there tomorrow. Danke. Auf wiedersehen."_

"Au revoir, Colonel." LeBeau disconnected the call and letting out a deep breath, leaned back in the chair. Kinch clapped his arm happily. Grinning, the Frenchman got up and allowed Kinch to sit down knowing that the next phone call would be to Burkhalter.

* * *

Klink, after hanging up the receiver, looked excitedly at Schultz. "Schultz, it's true! I really do have a reservation at the Hotel DeGaulle."

"Congratulations Herr Kommandant," Schultz said sadly. "All I ask is that you send me a post card from Paris."

Klink sighed and shook his head. "Schultz, you Dummkopf! Who is going to drive me to Paris tomorrow after roll call?"

"Me, Herr Kommandant?" Schultz asked with a big smile.

"Of course you idiot! We'll leave tomorrow morning after roll call."

"We're going to Paris Herr Kommandant?"

"Paris, Schultz," Klink said seemingly lost in his own fantasy. "Just think. The city of love and romance, the beautiful women, wine, everything a soldier like me should have."

Carter and Newkirk looked at each other. Newkirk rolled his eyes. "Excuse me, Kommandant," he said.

"What do you want now? You two are suppose to be cleaning my office."

"Right sir. Well, sir, it's just, well, it seems to me if you're going to gay Paree, don't you think you'd best find someone to take your place before you leave?" asked Newkirk innocently.

"Schultz, he's right." Klink quickly picked up the receiver again. "Get me General Burkhalter in Berlin." Moments later the switchboard in the tunnel buzzed again. Kinch plugged in.

"General Burkhalter's office. Guten Morgen."

"_This is Colonel Klink of Stalag 13. I need to speak with General Burkhalter bitte."_

"I'm sorry Colonel but the General is away at Berchtesgaden for the next few days. This is General Kinchmeyer. I am acting for the General until he returns. Perhaps I can help you with something?"

"_Well, sir, I…that is, I need someone to fill in for me here at Stalag 13 from tomorrow until the seventeenth. I have an important meeting I must attend."_

"You mean _you_ won the Happy German Question Contest, Colonel?"

"_Yes, sir. But how did you know?"_

"Because I entered it also. I received a letter today informing me someone had won but I didn't know who. My congratulations Colonel." Kinch fought hard to contain himself while LeBeau had to cover his mouth to avoid laughing out loud.

"_Danke, General Kinchmeyer. Now, sir, about my request."_

"Yes. I will have somebody there today. You should expect him to arrive sometime this evening."

"_Danke, Herr General. Heil Hitler. Auf wiedersehen." _Hearing the disconnect tone on the other end Klink hung up. "That was General Kinchmeyer, Schultz. He is acting for General Burkhalter. He said he will have somebody here this evening. There is so much to do. I have to pack, I must inform Colonel Hogan…" he then noticed Newkirk and Carter still standing there. "OUT! Both of you! You can clean another time!"

"Yes, sir," Carter said as he and Newkirk gathered everything and hastened out of the office. The last thing they heard was Klink give Schultz the order for him to bring Colonel Hogan to his office right away. As they left the Kommandantur together, the two friends looked at each other, nodded, and smiled.

* * *

(1) The mention of Schultz owning the Schotzie Toy Company is from War Takes a Holiday, Season 3.


	14. Chapter 14Arrangements and A Final Di

**Chapter 14-Arrangements and A Final Distraction**

Newkirk and Carter, after leaving the Kommandantur, soon joined Kinch and LeBeau in the tunnel where the radio was.

"You two were bloody marvelous," Newkirk admitted with admiration.

"Merci," said a grinning LeBeau.

Newkirk and Carter noticed Kinch had out his notepad and had crossed off Klink and Schultz.

"Where's the Colonel?" Kinch asked.

"He just left the barracks with Schultz and headed to Klink's office," Carter explained.

"Y'know, Kinch, perhaps you should call Tiger and have her come here for her final fitting at the same time that underground agent comes as Klink's replacement."

"What are you talking about?" LeBeau asked. "Tiger just had her first fitting yesterday."

"I know that, mate. But see, after lights out last night I worked some more on the dress and it's ready for a final fitting. With any luck, I could have the dress finished tomorrow instead of the twelfth." He saw Kinch and LeBeau both look at him with raised eyebrows.

"Y'know, that might not be a bad idea," Carter explained eagerly. "I mean, with that underground agent coming this evening, if we can schedule Tiger's visit for the same time, we can have the underground agent delay Colonel Hogan's return to the barracks until after Tiger leaves." The others all looked at each other mulling over what the young Sergeant had said.

"You might have something there," Kinch agreed. "But we'd have to time it exactly. After the last time if Colonel Hogan suspects anything this time all our hard work will be revealed before time." The radioman scratched his chin lost in thought. A smile suddenly appeared.

"You have an idea, mon ami?"

"Yep. But first I have to contact the underground and schedule our new Kommandant's arrival."

* * *

"Come in," Klink said cheerily. Since he was leaving tomorrow after roll call for one week in Paris, he no longer cared what Hogan might be up to; it would be someone else's problem. And if something did happen while someone else was in charge there would be no way he could be blamed which only added to his giddiness.

The door opened and Schultz walked in with Hogan behind him and saluted. "Herr Kommandant, Colonel Hogan is here as ordered."

After returning the salute, Klink grinned at his guard with an almost cunning smile. "That will be all, Schultz. Dissss-missssed."

"Jawohl." Schultz left the two men alone and closed the door.

"You wanted to see me, Kommandant?" Hogan asked innocently.

"Yes I did, Hogan. Please, have a seat."

Sitting down, the American tossed his crush cap onto the point of the pickelhaube; Klink promptly removed it and tossed it back at Hogan who caught it and sat it on his knee after crossing his legs. "What's up?" He could see Klink was acting as if he knew something Hogan didn't.

"What's up, Hogan…" Klink began as he got up and slowly walked around to the front of the desk and sat on the edge crossing his arms so he could look the American directly in the face. "…is that after roll call tomorrow morning I won't be here."

Hogan's eyebrows shot upward as a look of shock crossed his face. "You going somewhere, Kommandant?"

"Yes I am, Hogan. And the news couldn't have come at a better time, believe me."

Hogan smiled suddenly as he grabbed his cap and stood up. "Let me guess, sir. You finally got promoted to General, haven't you? Congratulations, sir. That's wonderful!"

"Thank you, Hogan…no I haven't. What made you think I was promoted to General?"

"Well, I know how long you've been waiting for that stripe, sir, so I just assumed…"

Klink got to his feet and turned away walking back to his chair. "No I haven't been promoted Hogan. In fact, here…" he picked up the letter and handed it to Hogan who took it and began to read. "I have won first prize in the Lucky German Question Contest and the prize is an all expenses paid 7-day stay at a four-star hotel including meals and champagne."

Hogan feigned amazement and fought hard to control himself from laughing out loud again as he finished the letter before handing it back to Klink. "Congratulations, sir. That's wonderful news. I noticed it said by twelve noon tomorrow. When are you leaving?"

"Right after roll call tomorrow."

Hogan was thoughtful. "That's funny, Kommandant."

"What is Hogan?" asked Klink with a smirk.

"Well for one, I never heard of the Lucky German Question Contest."

Klink rolled his eyes with exasperation. "Hogan, you don't very much about German business, do you?"

"Not really, sir. Should I?"

"Because if you did, Hogan, you would know that the Lucky German Question Contest Company is the biggest company in Germany, next to the Schotzie Toy Company of course."

Hogan nodded. "Of course. Well, have a good time, Kommandant. I'll give you my souvenir list before you leave tomorrow. Am I dismissed now, sir?"

"Yes, Hogan. You're dismissed." He saluted Hogan who gave a lazy salute in return and started out the door. "Oh Hogan." The American paused and looked around with his hand on the doorknob.

"Yes sir?"

Klink, leaning forward with both hands face down on his desk, stared hard at the American. "Hogan, I have suspected for several days you are up to something. However, as much as I would enjoy finding out what that something is, I am very willing to let you be someone else's problem beginning tomorrow. So I suggest, if you're smart, you'll forget whatever you've got planned because I will be advising the acting Kommandant to keep a close eye on you. I trust I have made myself clear?"

"Absolutely, Kommandant," Hogan replied with a smirk. "I'll make sure the guys know to forget about your present for winning the contest." Then before Klink could respond, Hogan closed the door behind him leaving Klink balling his fists in frustration.

* * *

Kinch removed his headset and picked up his clipboard. He had a smile. "Okay, I spoke with our contact in the underground and told them we need our new Kommandant here around 1900 hours this evening. This way, Klink will have to call a special roll call just to impress the guy who afterward will insist on speaking with the Colonel alone; sort of underground agent to Papa Bear congratulating him on his marriage. When I contacted Tiger I told her to be here at 1915 hours for a final fitting. She promised she will be at the rendezvous location. LeBeau, you'll go out and bring her back. Now we won't have a lot of time so no delaying. Get her here, have the final fitting, and then get her out."

"Oui. Understood."

"Also," Kinch continued. "I suggest this time after Tiger leaves, we all be upstairs in the barracks when the Colonel comes back. This way he shouldn't have to come below and possibly smell Tiger's perfume like last time. Everybody understand?"

The others nodded their agreement.

"Who's the underground sending?" asked Carter curious.

Kinch looked at the clipboard. "Let's see. They're sending Felix again; he'll be Major Hans Zellner." (1)

"Felix?" asked Newkirk suddenly perking up. "Is he gonna bring Fraulein Schmidt with 'im as well I hope?"

Kinch grinned at the Englander as he recalled the beautiful blond underground operative who accompanied Felix to Stalag 13 before when Felix pretended to be Major Weber to fool Jack Williams, a prisoner, who was about to expose Hogan's entire operation.

"Sorry, Newkirk; not this time. Maria's on her honeymoon."

"She got married?" Newkirk asked with wide eyes. "When?"

"About a week ago."

Newkirk hung his head and shook it. "Bloody hell," he muttered. Suddenly his eyes narrowed and he looked up at the radioman. "Wait a ruddy moment. Kinch, how do you know about Felix and Maria Schmidt? You weren't even here that day. You were gone for a week on that assignment from the Colonel. We had one of the other chaps from another barracks stand in for you during that time."(2)

"I told him about it," said Hogan as he walked into the radio room. "So Maria got married, eh? Good for her. Remember to send her my congratulations."

"Already done, Colonel," said Kinch as he and the others looked around at their commanding officer.

Hogan, hooking his thumbs in his jacket pockets, looked at Kinch. "So Felix is coming as Major Zellner?"

"Yes, sir." Kinch then repeated the information regarding the underground agent.

"Good. I seriously doubt Klink will even remember him as Major Weber. He spent more time looking at Maria." Hogan chuckled and shook his head before looking at his men.

"Aren't any of you even going to ask me how things went with Klink?"

"How'd it go, mon Colonel?" asked LeBeau with a grin.

"The Lucky German Question Company? I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing out loud when Klink showed me the letter and then went on to explain how it was the second biggest company in Germany." He focused on the Englander. "Newkirk, that story has your signature written all over it."

Newkirk rubbed the back of his neck and smiled proudly. "Yes, sir. I admit it was one of me better tales. Ole Klink was startin' to doubt the letter so I had to come up with something fast."

Hogan grinned a lopsided grin. "Well, I'd better say it now before I forget to. Whatever else happens, you guys have really impressed me with your ingenuity with these arrangements. I really mean it. And I thank you."

The four men all looked at their commander and Hogan could see they were deeply touched by his words. He then put an arm around LeBeau's shoulders. "LeBeau, what's for lunch? I'm starved."

* * *

The remainder of the day went quickly and uneventfully. Finally, at 1855 hours per Carter's watch, He raised the faucets of the sink in the barracks which were connected to a periscope in a water barrel outside barracks two and looked through the faucets. He spotted the big, black, shiny German staff car pulling up in front of the Kommandantur. He watched as Schultz quickly walked up to the rear passenger-side door and stood at attention saluting as a tall man with light brown hair stepped out and returned Schultz's salute. He looked around and noticed the Kommandant practically ran down the steps and saluted the Luftwaffe Major who saluted as he walked past Klink, up the steps and inside the office with Klink hurrying to catch up. Carter lowered the faucets and put them back in their normal position.

"Felix just arrived," he said turning and looking at his commander and friends who were seated at the table drinking hot coffee.

"Gentlemen, shall we listen in?" Hogan calmly remarked as he got up and led them into his quarters and plugged in the coffee pot.

* * *

Felix sat in the chair under the picture of Hitler he knew contained the hidden microphone. "Now Colonel Klink, General Kinchmeyer informed me I will be taking over tomorrow morning after roll call."

"That is correct, Major."

Felix checked his watch aware of the time. He got up as did Klink. "Colonel, have you had roll call yet this evening?"

"Not yet, Major. I usually have it between eight and nine p.m. But I can call a special roll call if you'd like?"

"Excellent. Shall we Kommandant?"

"Schuuuuuuultz!" The door opened and Schultz walked in, came to attention and saluted.

"Herr Kommandant, Major."

"Schultz, call a special roll call. Major Zellner wants to see the prisoners."

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant."

* * *

Unplugging the coffee pot, Hogan and his men walked back into the common room and sat down to wait. After a few minutes, the door opened and Schultz barged in.

"Raus, raus! Everybody outside for roll call! Schnell! All prisoners outside!"

Hogan looked at his watch. "Schultz, haven't you learned how to tell time yet? You're an hour early. Roll call's at 2000 hours; it's only 1900 hours."

"The Kommandant has ordered a special roll call, so everybody raus!"

Hogan led the way out the door with the others following. Soon everybody was standing in formation. Schultz counted each prisoner before turning to Klink and Felix.

"Herr Kommandant, Major, all prisoners present and accounted for."

"Kommandant?" asked Hogan sweetly.

"What is it, Hogan?" Klink asked nervously wondering what the Senior POW officer would do now to embarrass him.

"Why didn't you have Schultz tell us we had company? I would've worn my best suit instead of this old thing," he said fingering his bomber jacket. "You never tell us anything."

Laughing nervously Klink looked at Major Zellner. "It's a joke, Major. Colonel Hogan is quite the comedian."

Felix didn't smile as his face darkened and his eyes hardened. "Do you allow this sort of levity in your camp, Klink?"

"No sir," Klink replied nervously.

Felix walked directly up to Hogan until he stood face-to-face with him. "Colonel, in case you're not aware, I am taking over effective tomorrow morning after roll call for seven days for Colonel Klink. And while he may tolerate your kind of behavior, I will not. While I am in charge, any of what I consider disrespectful behavior on your part and you will find just how uncomfortable I can make things for you."

Hogan grinned. "No sense of humor, huh?"

Felix sharply turned away and rejoined Klink. He glanced back. "Colonel Hogan, as the Kommandant has to show me around and familiarize me with the camp, I insist you join us as I will want to talk with you afterward. Klink, dismiss your prisoners except for Colonel Hogan."

Klink stared at Hogan, annoyed. "Except for Colonel Hogan, all prisoners dismissed." The prisoners dispersed but Hogan remained standing in place with hands clasped behind him, a grin on his face.

* * *

By the time the men returned to the barracks, Kinch looked at his watch. It was about 1920 hours. He sought out the Frenchman and Englander. "Okay LeBeau, get going. Newkirk, go below and wait for LeBeau to return with Tiger. We have no idea how much time we have before the Colonel gets back."

Newkirk and LeBeau hurried down into the tunnels with Carter keeping watch at the door to let Kinch know when Hogan was coming. He secretly hoped they could distract the Colonel one last time with no problem. But he also knew that Felix would give them as much time as he could without making Hogan suspicious. He also hoped LeBeau didn't run into any trouble meeting Tiger or getting back to camp with her nor escorting her out of camp when he and Newkirk were done.

* * *

(1) Underground operative Felix and Fraulein Schmidt can be seen in the episode One In Every Crowd, Season 3.

(2) Ivan Dixon did not appear in the above episode.


	15. Chapter 15Finishing Touches

**Chapter 15-Finishing Touches**

Klink and Felix toured the camp with Hogan accompanying them. Even though he knew Felix very well and they had been friends for almost as long as Hogan had been at Stalag 13, he had to wonder why he was asked to accompany him and Klink on this tour of the camp. It gnawed at him that his men might be needing to distract him again. Hogan knew he had warned them what he would do if they tried trickery again to distract him; and he was torn between going through with what he had threatened and letting it slide. He knew whatever his men were up to it was important to them that he be distracted for a short time, and that was what made him pause.

If they were tricking him again, could he really go through with exposing everything below they had gone through to make his big day special just because they went against his last orders? He knew to do what he threatened would hurt his men because they were working so hard to make his and Tiger's big day as special as possible and to spoil all their hard work would disappoint them and Tiger and him as well. He would have to think more about what his reaction would be some more.

"Major, why am I on this tour of the camp?" asked Hogan with his thumbs hooked in the side pockets of his jacket looking at Felix. "You don't need me here."

Felix didn't look at Hogan. "You're here because I want you here, Colonel. By having you on this tour of the camp, I can observe you and hopefully find out what makes you tick."

Hogan smirked. "You make me sound like an alarm clock."

Felix crossed in front of Hogan and blocked his path; the two men looked at each other directly in the eye. "An alarm clock I will wind so tight the spring will break," he murmured. Then, when he was sure Klink wasn't paying attention, Felix winked at Hogan who momentarily grinned. "Tell me, Colonel, have you ever been married?"

"Never found the right woman."

"A pity. A friend of mine is getting married in three days, and only today did I get a chance to wish him well and to congratulate him. I hope he'll have a long and plentiful marriage."

Hogan shrugged noncommittally. "I'm sure he will. Although with the unpredictability of the war, marriages during wartime are risky business."

"True," Felix admitted. "But I still wished him well and hopefully he and his wife will both survive the war as well as their marriage. Both of them are dear friends. I hope they will."

Hogan smiled his patented lopsided smile. "I'm sure they'll give it their best shot, Major." Hogan looked at his watch and sighed.

"Am I keeping you past your bedtime, Colonel?"

"Not really. I'm more of a night person anyway."

With a sarcastic grin, Felix stepped aside and the three men continued their tour.

* * *

When Hogan finally entered the barracks about one hour after he had gone to Klink's office, he found his men all seated at the table drinking coffee and playing gin rummy.

"Who's winning?" Hogan asked as he grabbed his coffee cup and poured some cold, left-over coffee. Taking a drink, he made a face.

"Who do you think, Colonel?" asked LeBeau with a nod of his head towards Newkirk. He threw his cards in disgust on the table; Kinch and Carter followed suit while a grinning Newkirk gathered them all up.

"You know the chances. Fifty-fifty that you win or lose," said Newkirk.

"Do those odds still hold if you cheat?" asked Carter a bit dejected.

"Now Andrew, you hurt me feelings accusing me of a thing like that. You're just a lousy gin player than the rest of us is all," Newkirk said with an amused grin as he reshuffled the cards. "Care to sit in, Gov'nor?" he asked with a look up at Hogan.

Coming closer, Hogan rested a foot on the bench and leaned forward, arms on the thigh of his bent leg. "No thanks, Newkirk. I'm not a sadist."

"So how was the tour with Klink and Felix, Colonel?" asked LeBeau.

Hogan shrugged as he took another drink of coffee before making another face. "In code, Felix wished me and Tiger well and hoped we have a long marriage."

"That was nice of him, Colonel," said Kinch as he picked up the cards Newkirk had finished dealing out. He noticed the thoughtful look on his commander's face. "Something wrong, Colonel?"

Hogan looked into the cold dark brew in his coffee cup as he swirled it around by whirling the cup. He was still torn between confronting his men about having Felix distract him for the same reason they had Bluebird, Wilson, and Schnitzer distract him. To him, the only reason Felix had been obviously keeping him occupied meant, to Hogan, only one thing; Tiger had come to camp again. He was positive of that.

The men all exchanged confused looks. "Colonel?" asked LeBeau. "Kinch asked you if there was something wrong? You did not answer him."

Hogan sighed and smirked. "Sorry, guys. I'm just more tired than I thought. It's been a long day, although an interesting one I must admit." He finished his coffee before sitting the empty cup on the table. "I'm gonna turn in. Goodnight, fellas."

There was a collective set of 'good night' to the Colonel's receding back as he walked toward his small room, opened the door and entered, closing the door behind him.

"Do you think he suspects?" asked Carter nervously.

"He just might," Kinch replied. "It wouldn't surprise me if he did."

"But we tried to make this hopefully last distraction as natural as possible," added LeBeau.

"Yeah, but you know Colonel Hogan," Kinch pointed out. "His mind's always working."

"True, chaps," said Newkirk with a grin. "But I have only one thing to say."

"What's that?" asked Carter.

Newkirk laid down his cards and let a wide grin appear. "Gin."

* * *

The prisoners were awakened on July eleventh at 5:45am by Sergeant Schultz who proceeded to bang on the sides of bunks when prisoners didn't stir immediately.

"Up, up! Everybody up for roll call! Roll caaaaaallll! Raus, raus! Roll caaaaaaaaaaaaall!"

"Blimey, Schultzie," Newkirk grumbled as he leaned on his elbow and rubbed his eyes with one hand. "We're rausin'."

"Pierre's right, Schultzie. Just hold onto your swastika and wait outside while we get ready."

Carter suddenly sat up on his bunk with his feet on the floor. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Hey, Schultz. You and the Kommandant really leaving for Paris after roll call this morning?"

"Jawohl," the guard replied as he adjusted the white gloves he was wearing and smiled.

"Hey, check out the white gloves," said Carter. "What are you wearing those for?"

Smiling, the Frenchman walked over to where Schultz stood near Newkirk's and Carter's bunks and poked the guard's large stomach and looked at Carter with a grin. "Don't you know, Andre? When Schultzie and Klink arrive in Paris, Schultz is going to try out for a job as a portier." He noticed his friend's puzzled expression. "A doorman."

"Humph. Jolly jokers," Schultz replied. "_Everybody_ outside for roll call! Mach schnell! I wait outside." Schultz exited the barracks. A minute later the door to Hogan's quarters opened and the Colonel emerged, crush cap on his head and zipping up his jacket.

"Did I just hear a moose call?" asked Hogan with s crooked grin.

"Yes, sir" said Newkirk. "That was ole Schultzie bellowin'."

"Well, let's go, men. Don't want to miss Colonel Klink's farewell speech," Hogan reminded them as he opened the barracks door and headed out.

* * *

After roll call, the men watched Klink step into the back passenger seat of his staff car and Schultz get in the driver's seat, the luggage piled on the car roof. After the men were dismissed, Felix approached Colonel Hogan before he returned to the barracks.

"Colonel, I apologize for the way I had to treat you yesterday evening."

Hogan smirked. "No need to apologize. Your performance was the highlight of my day in fact."

Felix chuckled. "You must _really_ be nervous to enjoy that, Colonel. But now that Klink is gone, let me say what I truly wanted to say to you yesterday. I wish you and Tiger all the best and to have a long, long marriage. My wish for you both is to survive this war so you can begin your new lives together without fear or barbed wire separating you, or the fear of death before your time."

Hogan was deeply touched by his friend's words. "You said it very nicely last night, Felix, but this topped even that. Thank you." Then he grinned. "I'd shake your hand but people might think we're collaborating." He saw Felix chuckle. Then the underground agent's face became serious. "Colonel, one more thing. How much does the underground know about your pending nuptials?"

"I know where you're going with this, but not to worry. Neither Tiger or I have told anybody other than those who are invited to the wedding. Which reminds me, Felix, I'd like to invite you to join us. The wedding is on the thirteenth, right after evening roll call in the tunnel."

Thank you, Colonel, but I have a previous engagement on that day which I cannot get out of. But thank you. Also, I am glad you and Tiger are keeping knowledge of the wedding limited to a select few. That way there's less chance of the Germans finding out should one of them be captured and tortured."

"I know. That's why we limited the number of guests. As I am so found of saying, the less you know the less you can talk if you're captured."

"Precisely." Felix checked his watch. "Well, I guess I'd better begin my Kommandant duties." He smiled at his friend. "Colonel, if there's anything you or your men need, just let me know."

"I will. Thanks." Hogan watched Felix turn and walk away before he himself entered the barracks to find LeBeau at work preparing breakfast. Felix's last offer brought something to Hogan's mind that he hadn't really thought of because of being caught up in the wedding preparations and everything else. But with the big day so close, he could no longer avoid it. _What about our wedding night?_ _Certainly the tunnel_ _would be the best option, of course, but would…_ Shaking his head, poured himself a cup of hot coffee and put a foot on the bench with one arm resting on his thigh. Kinch, Carter and Newkirk were seated at the table drinking coffee. "So, what do you guys have on the agenda today?"

Kinch shrugged. "Just a few finishing touches on a few things, sir. Sir, what's wrong? You've looked down since last night. Something troubling you?"

"Oui, mon Colonel. We'd like to help if you let us," said LeBeau without turning around.

Hogan took a drink of his coffee, his eyes downcast staring into the dark liquid. "Felix and I were talking outside and he said something that I hadn't thought about until just now."

"What's that, sir?" asked Newkirk.

Hogan shrugged, keeping his eyes down, unable to look his men in the face. He had decided not to question the men about another possible diversion having happened. Instead, he had something more important on his mind. "Well, I never gave any thought to where Tiger and I will spend our wedding night. I mean, my quarters are out of the question; too risky. And somehow, the tunnel doesn't seem right or very romantic, but it's probably the only option available." He suddenly noticed the smirks on the faces of each of his men, even LeBeau. "What's so funny?"

LeBeau gently gripped Hogan's arm and smiled. "Do not worry, mon Colonel. _We_ did not forget. Trust us, you and Tiger will be pleasantly surprised by the arrangements we have come up with."

Hogan chuckled before finishing his coffee. After the men had finished breakfast and LeBeau had washed and put away the dishes, Hogan checked his watch. "Well, I have to be going to visit our new Kommandant." He got to his feet. "After-all, I have a reputation to protect." He immediately left the barracks. A few seconds after he left, Kinch went into Hogan's quarters and shortly returned with Hogan's dress uniform draped over his arm.

Carter retrieved the gifts made by the workshop from LeBeau's footlocker. They soon joined Kinch and Newkirk below in the tunnels where Newkirk was busy with the wedding gown and Kinch would help Carter wrap the gifts in the reception area.

"Hold it," Carter said as he took an 8x10 picture frame and put it aside.

"What's wrong, Andrew?" asked Kinch. "I thought all those frames were for the Colonel and Tiger?"

"They are except for this one. See, since I'm suppose to be taking pictures at the wedding and reception, I thought I'd make sure to get one of the Colonel and Tiger alone right after they're married, and after I develop the pictures, put that one of them in a picture frame and present it to the Colonel when we have our private celebration in his quarters. This way Tiger will be with him even when she's not."

Kinch smiled at his young friend. "Andrew, that's a beautiful thought. There's just one thing that could ruin that beautiful thought."

"What's that?" Carter asked as he began wrapping the candles in tissue paper.

"That you forget to put film in the bloody camera and not have an extra roll in your pocket."

"Ha ha," Carter replied sarcastically.

In the sewing room, LeBeau was busy cleaning Hogan's dress uniform while Newkirk was continuing his work on the wedding gown. They didn't stop what they were doing until Olsen, Baker, Garlotti and Saunders interrupted them.

"We finally finished the two tunnel areas," Baker sighed wearily as he wiped his forehead with the back of one hand. "We thought you guys would like to see them."

"We'd love to," LeBeau replied as he and Newkirk both got up and went further down the corridor, first inspecting the tunnel to be used for the reception, and then the other for the wedding.

"Blimey, you chaps did a bloody marvelous job," he said admiringly. "Bloody marvelous indeed." He glanced at the Frenchman who was smiling as he took everything in.

"It is magnifique," he said sincerely.

"Thanks," replied Olsen for the group.

"All we have to do for both tunnels is add the floral arrangements and it will be complete. But that can done tomorrow before I have to start baking the wedding cake."

"How's the wedding gown coming?" asked Baker.

"I figured another couple of hours and it'll be finished as long as me ruddy fingers hold up. I'm not as young as I use to be, y'know." Newkirk said this last sentence with an amused grin on his face.

LeBeau and the others chuckled with their friend. Newkirk stuffed his hands in his pants pockets. "Olsen, tonight you, me, Baker and Carter will sneak into Klink's quarters and borrow some of his silverware, china, wine glasses, napkins, warming trays, a white linen tablecloth, and his ice bucket. We'll store all of it in the reception area as that's where it's gonna be to begin with. We also need to get hold of the white jackets we use when we're serving as waiters. The ones for me, Kinch, LeBeau and Carter."

"Sure," Olsen agreed readily. "What time do we go?"

"Right after Felix turns in for the night. This way if something happens which I don't expect it will, Felix won't get caught up in it."

"Makes sense, mon ami," LeBeau said with approval.

"I'm so glad you approve, monsieur LeBeau," Newkirk said with a smirk as he rested a hand on the Frenchman's shoulder. "Because while we're doing that, it'll be your job to get one of the wash tubs and clean it out. We'll need it for the ice in order to chill the champagne for the reception."

"I just thought of something, Newkirk," Baker commented, curious. "If we're using one of the wash tubs for the champagne, what do we need Klink's ice bucket for?"

"Oh that's for the bridal suite," Kinch said as he and Carter suddenly appeared in time to hear the end of the conversation. Carter was carrying the picture frame.

"How come you're carrying a picture frame, Carter?" LeBeau asked. "I thought you were wrapping them for a wedding gift?"

"The others already are," Carter said sheepishly. "Kinch and I finished wrapping the gifts and put them and the wedding cards on the table in the tunnel being used for the reception I just sorta needed this one for something."

Kinch then repeated what Carter had told him he wanted to do. The others all smiled and voiced their approval of Carter's idea. Newkirk gripped the back of Carter's neck and gave it a playful squeeze.

"That's real nice of you, Andrew," he said with a smile. "I'm sure the Gov'nor will love it."

Carter shrugged, somewhat embarrassed by the attention. "I just thought it might be kinda nice for Colonel Hogan to be able to have Tiger with him even if she couldn't physically be here herself. I know it must sound kinda stupid."

"Not at all, Carter," Olsen assured him. "I think Colonel Hogan would like it very much. I think it's a great idea."

* * *

Hogan, upon returning to the barracks, looked around and didn't see any of his team, and assumed they were all below in the tunnels and decided to let them alone. Seeing there was a fresh pot of hot coffee on the stove, he poured himself a cup, walked into his quarters and closed the door. He sat down at his desk and picked up the paperback book he had been reading.

Sitting the cup down on his desk which was nothing more than a small table, Hogan flipped through the pages turning to the page he had dog-eared. He had only gotten as far as the middle of the first sentence before closing the book and laying it down on his desk, picking up his cup and taking a drink of coffee. He went over in his mind what he and Felix had discussed in the Kommandant's office. After-all, Hogan had to maintain the appearance of barging into the Kommandant's office even with a 'pretend' Kommandant to avoid suspicion and that was what Hogan wanted to go over with Felix. That whatever he did with Klink he would continue to do to maintain appearances. Felix had no problem with it.

Taking another drink of coffee, Hogan thought about how his days of bachelorhood were rapidly dwindling down to a precious few hours; less than seventy-two right now. After the thirteenth he would have to change how he dealt with Hilda as she wouldn't know about Tiger or his marriage. Of course, Tiger was already aware that he romanced Hilda strictly to gain information and secure her help on occasion. But that was before. He would have to see how she felt about it after they were married. But Hilda was only part of the problem. Every woman who came into camp whether they be Allied, underground, or even German, threw themselves at him and he always found it amusing; and not that he minded whatsoever. But again, that was before. _Ah the sacrifices one makes for love, _he told himself with a smile. _But for Tiger, there's nothing I wouldn't do._

* * *

LeBeau, Olsen and Baker climbed back up into the barracks and looked questioningly at one of the prisoners who motioned with his head towards the closed door of the Colonel's door and LeBeau knew it meant Hogan was in his office. Tying an apron around his waist, the Frenchman set about preparing lunch. He found himself humming quietly. Not because he was in a good mood even though he was, but because everything they had to do was just about complete. LeBeau thought tomorrow he would bake the wedding cake, and prepare the food the day of the wedding. Those and a few minor details and everything would be ready. He smiled as he thought about the stunned looks of surprise on the faces of the Colonel and Tiger when they saw the bridal suite. That, to the Frenchman, would mark the glorious culmination of all their hard work over a two-week period. His humming became just a little bit louder.


	16. Chapter 16Down To The Wire

**Chapter 16-Down To The Wire**

Hogan's men remained down in the tunnels throughout the day until it was time for LeBeau to return up to the barracks to prepare dinner. By that time, Newkirk had completed the wedding gown which, with the veil, was carefully stored away where it would not only not get wrinkled, but would remain clean, and Hogan's dress uniform was cleaned and pressed and hanging back in his closet in his quarters. The tunnels reserved for the wedding and the reception areas were cordoned off with hanging sheets so nobody could see into them unless they peeked behind the sheets. And Hogan's team weren't concerned about the Colonel sneaking a look and spoiling all their hard work when he was below.

After the dinner dishes had been washed and put away, Felix invited Hogan to the Kommandant's office for a game of chess to which the Colonel gladly went, eager to have something to relieve his tension of the big day only two days away. Once he was there, Hogan informed Felix that four of his men were going to 'borrow' a few of Klink's belongings for the wedding but that they would be put back in plenty of time before the Kommandant returned from Paris. Felix only chuckled as he set up the chess board and then poured a glass of brandy for each of them.

While the chess game was in process, Newkirk, carrying a cardboard box and followed by Olsen, moved the pot belly stove away from the wall in Klink's living room and climbed up into the room; Carter waited on the ladder leading into the room while Baker waited below. They quickly collected china plates, bowls, saucers, cups, wine glasses, regular glasses, silverware, napkins and the white linen tablecloth and carefully placed them in the cardboard box. Newkirk then carried the box back to the tunnel opening and handed it to Baker who carefully handed the box to Carter while the Englander waited and Olsen continued gathering the other things they needed. Carter then handed another empty cardboard box to Baker who handed it to Newkirk. Into that box was placed three sterling silver warming trays with lids and Klink's champagne bucket. As Olsen carried that box to a waiting Baker, Newkirk went through the closets until he found the white jackets and black pants. He carefully removed them from the closet, hangers and all and followed Olsen down into the tunnel moving the stove back to its normal position.

Picking up the box with the dishes, Carter followed Baker who had the other box; Newkirk followed with the jackets with Olsen beside him. Finally reaching the tunnel area for the reception, Olsen held aside the sheet and allowed Carter and Baker inside where they put the boxes gently on the floor in a corner where they would be out of the way. Once that was done everybody exited while Newkirk took the jackets to the changing room where he found LeBeau waiting.

"Certainly took you long enough," the Frenchman complained reaching for the jackets and pants.

"I got here as fast as I could. I wasn't exactly on bloody roller skates, y'know."

"Never mind," LeBeau said with a smirk. "I will have these cleaned and pressed in no time at all. Did you get the things we need from Klink's quarters?"

"They're in boxes in the tunnel being used for the reception."

Just then Kinch walked in and collapsed on the nearest bench and let out a deep breath. "I'm beat," he said reaching into his jacket and removing the notepad and pen.

"I think we're all tuckered out, mate," Newkirk added rubbing the back of his neck.

Kinch crossed his legs. "Okay, LeBeau, what have we got left?"

"The plates and things are in a box in the reception room along with the warming trays," Newkirk said.

"The Colonel's dress uniform is cleaned and pressed and before the night is over so will our white jackets," LeBeau added. "Tomorrow we will make the floral arrangements and the bridal bouquet and later in the day I will bake the cake. Then on the wedding day we will set everything up in the reception tunnel and then I will prepare the food and we will be done until it is time for the ceremony."

Kinch crossed several things off his list and then looked at the remaining items. "You know, two weeks ago I would have laughed if someone had told me we could have everything done except the flowers, the cake and the food, I would have had them locked up as being cuckoo."

"You and me both, mate," Newkirk admitted.

LeBeau smiled like a Cheshire cat knowing he had a mouse cornered with no way out. "And neither of you thought we could do it."

"Yeah, well, tomorrow comes the real job," Newkirk said. "Tomorrow we ravage Klink's garden. There probably won't be one bloody flower left in his entire garden by the time we're through."

"Oui, but they'll all be sacrificed for a worthy cause," LeBeau replied with a grin. "Now if you gentlemen will excuse me, I have four jackets to clean and press before the night's over."

Kinch, sticking his notepad and pen in his jacket, dragged himself to his feet and started out the changing room. As he was about to follow Kinch out, Newkirk paused and looked back. "Before I forget, LeBeau, did you get the washtub like I reminded you?"

"Non. By the time I finished cooking dinner and washing the dishes there wasn't time. I will get it tomorrow sometime," LeBeau promised.

"Well don't forget it. We need it to chill the ruddy champagne bottles for the reception." As he and Kinch walked away leaving the Frenchman to his task, the Englander suddenly put a hand on the radioman's arm. "Kinch, I just thought of something. About the bridal suite. What about Felix? We have to let him know what we want to do."

Kinch smiled a lazy smile. "No problem, Newkirk. I'll find a way to talk with Felix tomorrow. All I'm going to need from you and Carter is to make sure to get the Colonel in the barracks after morning roll call and keep him here. I'll head down into the tunnel. Tell the Colonel I'm checking my equipment in case we need to contact any of the wedding guests and to make a final check of the arrangements. I'll come up through the Kommandant's quarters and go to his office from there. I'll come back into the barracks the same way."

"How do you expect me to keep the Colonel in the bloody barracks if he doesn't want to be kept inside?" asked Newkirk. "If I try and tackle 'im he's liable to court-martial me before the ruddy wedding. If I'm gonna lose me bleedin' stripes I'd rather it not be for tacklin' me commanding officer before his nuptials."

Kinch put a hand on the Englander's shoulder and smiled. "Newkirk, I'll leave it up to your devious and cunning mind." He walked on ahead towards the ladder leading up to the barracks. Newkirk stared at his receding back.

"You think me mind's devious and cunning?" he asked as he hurried to catch up with the radioman.

* * *

Corporal Langenscheidt pushed open the door of barracks two on July twelfth and was surprised to find the men of barracks two up and getting dressed. He suspected the prisoners were up to something if they were up and getting dressed without being told, but like his friend, Sergeant Schultz, he closed his eyes to whatever it was they might be up to and chalked it up to there being a new Kommandant in camp and wanting to get on his good side.

"Everybody outside for roll call!" he said. "Schnell! The new Kommandant is coming!"

"If you don't get out of the way, Langenscheidt," Hogan said zipping up his jacket, "You're gonna be run over by the stampede."

"Stampede, Colonel Hogan?"

"Sure. Can't you see how eager the men are to race outside and stand in formation for the new Kommandant? Don't want to make a bad impression." He put an arm around the Corporal's shoulders and guided him out the door. "Now be a good soldier and tell Major Zellner to hang on to his swastika and we'll be right there."

"But Colonel Hogan…."

"Raus, raus!" Hogan ordered as he eased Langenscheidt out the door and closed it; he smirked as he stood with his hand gripping the doorknob. He looked around the barracks at the men as he opened the door. "Let's go fellow inmates," he said with a grin. He walked out the door with the other prisoners following him. He didn't notice Newkirk and Carter nod at each other in a pre-arranged signal but Kinch did.

The prisoners lined up in two rows and Langenscheidt began to count each prisoner while Felix, accompanied by two guards from outside the Kommandantur, walked down the steps of the building and approached the formation. Langenscheidt turned and saluted when he spotted him.

"Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for."

"Excellent, Corporal." Felix looked at Hogan. "Colonel Hogan, I request you to come to my office in one hour. There is something I need to discuss with you."

"I have to check my appointment book, Kommandant," Hogan replied with a smirk. "I'm completely booked through the entire day. But I think I might be able to fit you in tomorrow morning." There was laughter from the men including Hogan.

His face turning dark and eyes blazing, Felix walked directly up to Hogan and stood toe-to-toe with him. "So, you enjoy being a comedian, eh, Colonel?" he sneered.

"Well…" Hogan began innocently.

"Perhaps a week in the cooler might cure you of your wisecracks?"

The prisoners quieted down and watched, each knowing that Felix was putting on a show for the guards only. They also noticed the smirk disappear from their commanding officer's face.

"I meant no disrespect, Major," Hogan said.

"I'll let it go this time. But the next time you decide to make wisecracks during roll call, you will be escorted to the cooler for a week. Colonel Klink might put up with your antics but I will not! Have I made myself clear?"

"Crystal, Major."

"Gut! My office! One hour! Corporal?" He looked at Langenscheidt who was still recovering at what he had just witnessed. He swallowed nervously.

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant?"

"Dismiss your men!" He saluted, abruptly turned and walked away, not waiting for a reply.

Langenscheidt looked at the prisoners. "Prisoners dismissed!"

As the prisoners dispersed, Newkirk suddenly turned and shoved Carter. "I heard your natterin' back there, Carter. I warned you."

Carter shoved him back. "Don't you shove me. You know I'm right and you're wrong!" He staggered backward when Newkirk roughly shoved him again.

"Hold it!" Hogan ordered squeezing his way between them just as Carter shoved Newkirk again, only this time the Englander fell into the Colonel and both of them fell backward with Hogan landing on his back with Newkirk on top of him. Carter stood, wide-eyed with mouth open.

"Look what you made me do!" he accused Newkirk as he watched the Englander get up while Kinch helped the Colonel to his feet; Newkirk handed him his cap after dusting it off.

"Sorry, Gov'nor," he said sheepishly; knocking the Colonel off his feet hadn't been part of the plan.

With eyes blazing, Hogan snatched his crush cap from the Englander and put it on. "Okay, you and you…" he pointed at Carter and Newkirk. "In my quarters _**now**_!" The prisoners who were still present entered the barracks with Carter and Newkirk trailing behind them with Hogan and Kinch bringing up the rear. As Hogan started toward his quarters Kinch grabbed his arm gently.

"What?" Hogan snapped looking around. His face immediately softened. "I'm sorry, Kinch. What is it?"

"Two things, Colonel. Just keep in mind Newkirk and Carter have been working extra hard and long for your big day tomorrow, and two, I'll be in the radio room checking my equipment if you need me for anything."

"Fine. Go."

* * *

The minute Kinch was in the tunnels, he ran as fast as he could to the ladder leading up to the tunnel entrance covered by the pot belly stove in the Kommandant's quarters. Once he was inside the living room, he sneaked out and made his way to the Kommandantur knowing he had possibly less than one hour depending on how long Newkirk and Carter could keep Hogan occupied before he had to report to the Kommandant. Seeing the guards were not paying him any attention, Kinch entered and knocked on the inside door.

"Come in," he heard from the other side; he opened the door.

"Sergeant Kinchloe, I wasn't expecting to see you," Felix said looking up from the desk in surprise. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong. But I have to make this quick because Carter and Newkirk are stalling Colonel Hogan."

Felix chuckled. "I caught a glance of what happened and assumed something was up and that one of the Colonel's men needed to see me about something. Now, what can I do for you?"

Kinch quickly outlined the idea he and the others had for the bridal suite until the day Klink returned. Felix grinned amused as he heard the plan.

"Sergeant, you and the men are certainly going all out for this wedding. Thank you for informing me about the garden, and I would be delighted to make the sacrifice regarding the other thing. And I agree we should use the tunnel for the switch. I'll handle the guards so there will be no interruptions."

"Thanks, Felix. We appreciate it. We heard you can't make it to the wedding, but do you think you could make it to the reception at least?"

"Unfortunately I cannot. But thank you for the offer. Now, I suggest you leave before Colonel Hogan shows up."

* * *

Hogan stared at Newkirk and Carter a minute after he closed the door to his quarters. He wrapped his arms around himself. "All right, let's have it. What's going on between you two?"

"It's nothing for you to worry about, Colonel, honest," Carter said nervously, his hands stuck in his jacket pockets.

Hogan's eyes widened in disbelief. "You call what happened outside nothing to worry about?"

"Honest, Colonel," said Newkirk. "Everything's fine now."

"Uh huh," Hogan replied with a twinkle in his eyes suddenly. "And uh, just how long am I suppose to be distracted this time?" He noticed both men stare at him in stunned disbelief.

"How'd you know?" asked a wide-eyed Carter.

"Carter!" Newkirk snapped. "You and your ruddy big mouth!" He sighed and looked sheepishly at the Colonel. "How _did _you know, sir?"

Hogan chuckled. "It wasn't difficult. Plus I noticed you two as we left the barracks for roll call nodding at each other so I figured something was up. Didn't I tell all of you what I would do if this happened again?"

"Please, sir. We didn't mean to," Newkirk pleaded.

"I suppose Kinch is not below checking his equipment either is he?" Their silence gave Hogan his answer. "What's going on this time? Why was it necessary for me to be distracted again? And I want an answer."

"We have something planned for the wedding, Colonel," Carter explained. "But it's a surprise."

"I figured that much," said Hogan. "But what kind of surprise?"

Newkirk and Carter looked nervously at their commander but didn't respond. Hogan nodded and checked his watch. "I have to meet with Felix," he said. "When I get back we are going to resume this conversation and I expect Kinch to be here as well."

"Yes, sir," both men said quietly as they then watched Hogan turn and leave his quarters.

The duo waited five minutes before leaving the small room before returning to the common room where they were greeted by LeBeau and Olsen.

"What happened?" asked the Frenchman anxiously. "You were in there with the Colonel for a long time."

"He saw right through our act outside," Newkirk explained rubbing the back of his neck. "When he comes back from seeing Felix he wants to talk to us again and Kinch. He wants to know what we were distracting him for this time."

"But how did he find out?" asked Olsen.

"He noticed me and Carter here nod to each other when we were leaving for roll call. Then when he called us on it, Andrew here had to ask how did he know we were distracting him again."

"I'm sorry," Carter said remorsefully. "It just came out."

"Big mouth," LeBeau said.

"I said I was sorry."

"Its okay, Andrew," Newkirk said quietly. "The Colonel had us dead to right anyway." The men turned and looked when the sound of a bunk rattling upward was heard and Kinch climbed out and into the barracks. He immediately noticed the grim faces of his friends.

"What happened?" he asked. "Where's the Colonel?"

Newkirk sighed wearily. "He knows Carter and I were pretending to have a disagreement."

"How'd that happen?" Kinch asked.

"Colonel saw us nod to each other when we thought he wasn't looking," Newkirk said. "He went to see Felix. Said when he returns he wants to speak with me, Carter and you. He doesn't believe you were checking the radio either."

"Oh boy," Kinch muttered half to himself.

"What did Felix say?" asked LeBeau.

"He has no problem with the change for a few days after the wedding, and I told him about the garden. He had no problem with that either. Says it'll be his contribution."

There was little time to enjoy the news when the barracks door opened and Hogan walked in. He looked at the men. "Just who I was looking for; Carter, Newkirk, LeBeau and Kinch." The men looked sheepishly at their commanding officer.

Hogan hooked his thumbs in his jacket pockets. "I know about Carter and Newkirk. I assume, Kinch, that you weren't checking your radio equipment, were you?"

"No, sir," Kinch replied.

"I don't know what LeBeau's part was in this and I don't want to know. But I warned all of you last time what I would do if you tried distracting me again with tricks when I said all you had to do was ask me."

"Yes, sir," LeBeau said looking nervous; Newkirk looked sad; Kinch's face was unreadable, and Carter looked plain scared. Hogan turned, walked over to the double bunk and slapped the hidden mechanism. As the lower bunk rattled upward and the ladder dropped, the Colonel took another look at the faces of his men.

"I told you I would go below and check out all these arrangements you were making." He then turned and slapped the hidden mechanism again and faced his men as the ladder rose and the bunk dropped over the opening. "But I'll check them out tomorrow at the wedding instead." He smiled and his eyes twinkled.

The men hesitated for a moment not sure if their Colonel was torturing them or not; but when they saw him smile after he closed the tunnel opening they relaxed.

"Of course if you want to tell me what this surprise is that I had to be distracted for by a fake fight…" Hogan began with an impish grin.

Kinch smiled. "Sorry, Colonel. But you'll find out tomorrow. And we promise there will be no more distractions."

"What did Felix want to talk to you about, mon Colonel?"

"He just wanted to let me know that since he has to leave camp tomorrow at the same time as the wedding, he will order all prisoners confined to barracks so there will be no chance of the guards walking into the barracks unexpectedly."

"Well, Colonel, we first have something to do outside and then down in the tunnels. And once that is complete I will bake the wedding cake," said LeBeau as he headed for the barracks door with the others following behind him. As they were leaving Hogan's eyes shifted to Olsen who stood grinning in amusement.

"Do I want to know what they're up to this time?" asked Hogan.

Olsen smiled. "Sir, if I were you I wouldn't ask."

* * *

An hour before dinner time, the final touches to the reception and wedding areas had been completed. LeBeau alone had made the bridal bouquet wrapped with left over lace and tied with three satin bows whose ends would hang to Tiger's waist while he waited for the three layers of cake to cool before he put on the icing. Also, one of the prisoner wash tubs had been cleaned as well as possible and sat in the reception area. A bottle of champagne was resting in the empty ice bucket with two wine glasses and sitting on a tray and was hidden in the changing room out of sight. Also sitting nearby was the bottle of wine and the picture frame Carter had taken which was wrapped in a paper bag so it wouldn't get dirty. LeBeau then put the icing and decorations on the three-tier wedding cake and stored it before going back to the barracks and preparing a special dinner for the Colonel on what the Frenchman labeled his final day of being a bachelor.


	17. Chapter 17Here Comes The Bride

**_***Here it is folks! The big day for Hogan and Tiger!***_**

**Chapter 17-Here Comes the Bride**

The big day had finally arrived; it was July thirteenth and the weather couldn't have been better. The sky was blue with bright sunshine and was warm. The men in barracks two were excited from the moment they woke up for morning roll call except for Hogan who although was excited himself, couldn't stop the beads of perspiration from breaking out on his forehead. He was nervous already.

LeBeau, Kinch, Carter and Newkirk were practically giddy. They couldn't believe they had accomplished everything they had set out to accomplish two weeks ago along with a few extra surprises with the exception of two, and one was the food which LeBeau would prepare later in the afternoon. The other would be set up by LeBeau and Newkirk during the last few minutes of the reception.

Morning roll call had come and gone with little fanfare except for the Kommandant announcing that evening roll call would take place an hour earlier because he had to leave camp for an important meeting this evening and all prisoners would be confined to their barracks. Corporal Langenscheidt immediately promised it would be done.

After lunch, Hogan sat on the bench outside the barracks with his legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles with his arms folded. LeBeau sat on his right with Carter and Newkirk on his left; Newkirk was puffing on a cigarette. Kinch leaned against the barracks on the opposite side of the Frenchman with his hands stuffed in his pockets and one leg bent with his foot up against the wall. They were all watching the activities taking place in the compound.

"So how are you doing, Colonel?" asked LeBeau looking at Hogan with an amused grin. He sensed the Colonel was nervous as his hours of womanizing was dwindling down slowly.

Hogan feigned being calm. "Just fine, LeBeau. Couldn't be better," he said keeping his eyes on the activities. He heard LeBeau chuckle.

Newkirk looked at his watch. "Let's see. It's now 1330 hours, Gov'nor. You still have several hours of freedom, sir."

"Yeah," Kinch agreed. "Must be kind of difficult knowing after this evening you'll have to fight off the women and resist Hilda," he joked.

Hogan slowly turned toward the radioman with a smirk. "I'm getting married, not receiving the last rites."

"Actually, sir, in a way you are," Carter chimed in.

"Andrew, what are you natterin' about?" asked Newkirk as he and the others looked at the young Sergeant, puzzled.

"Well, the Colonel's days of bachelorhood are gonna be dead and buried after this evening. So in a way, his bachelor days will be getting the last rites."

Newkirk rolled his eyes. "Carter, what kind of bleedin' codswallop is that?"

"What's a codswallop?" asked Carter.

"Not what's _**a**_ codswallop, Andrew. Just codswallop. It means what kind of nonsense is that?" Newkirk explained impatiently.

"Sounds more like some kind of a fish to me," LeBeau wisecracked. The Englander turned sharply to the Frenchman.

"What do you mean some kind of fish?" asked Newkirk. Less than a minute later the two were bickering.

"Okay, you guys, pipe down," Hogan ordered. "I'd like my last few hours as a free man to be peaceful and stress free."

* * *

The rest of the day was uneventful, and true to the Kommandant's word, evening roll call had been held an hour earlier than usual with a 'warning' to Hogan he would be held accountable if anything happened during his absence. After being confined to their barracks, the Kommandant got in his staff car and was driven through the front gates.

As soon as they were back inside, Carter and Newkirk went below to change into their white jackets and black pants so they could greet the guests who were going to be arriving any minute while LeBeau transferred the cooked food which consisted of sausages, potatoes and dinner rolls to the warming trays. Olsen and Baker set out the platters with the cheese and fruit appetizers and Baker then set out the salad bowl. The 3-tier wedding cake which was a yellow cake with a butter-crème filling and white icing with different colored roses for decorations sat in the center of the table. Everything else had been set up on the table on both ends. The wash tub sat in a corner filled with ice and several bottles of champagne and two bottles of grape juice were already chilling. Newkirk and LeBeau then quickly left the tunnel with a bottle of champagne and two wine glasses on a tray. They also had two red roses, and went about doing what had to be done making sure they got back before the wedding as they knew the Colonel would notice them missing. They would add the finishing touch during the last fifteen minutes of the reception. That left Kinch and Hogan in the Colonel's quarters with Kinch helping the Colonel get ready.

Hogan was fumbling with his tie as his hands shook. He couldn't believe this was happening. He glared at Kinch who was chuckling. "And what is so funny, Sergeant?" he asked a bit harsher than he had planned.

"Nothing, Colonel," said Kinch. It's just weird seeing you so nervous."

"I am not nervous. I'm just having trouble with my tie is all." Hogan continued fumbling with it after knocking away Kinch's hands when he reached up to try and knot the Colonel's tie. After a few more minutes, Hogan sighed with frustration and allowed Kinch to knot his tie for him. It took the Sergeant no time at all to knot Hogan's tie. Hogan gave him a look warning him not to say a thing further about it as Kinch held up Hogan's dress uniform jacket for him to slip into. Kinch was still grinning with amusement as Hogan slipped into his jacket. He knew the Colonel would never admit to being a nervous wreck now that the moment was at hand. Finally, Hogan let out a deep breath he didn't realize he was holding and looked at his close friend. "Kinch, thanks for being the best friend and best man I could ever have. I couldn't ask for anyone better."

"My pleasure, sir. Now, shall we get below and get you married?"

The Colonel smiled. "It's now or never I guess." Together, they left the Colonel's quarters.

* * *

Lilli Fuchs, her light brown hair in a bun with diamond earrings and matching necklace and wearing a pale blue dress, was busy helping Tiger get ready. She was absolutely stunned when she saw the wedding dress after Tiger put it on, and was even more impressed with the workmanship that Hogan's men had taken in making it.

"Marie, since your wedding gown is something new, and your grandparents rings are the something old, you need something borrowed and something blue. She removed a rectangular box from her purse and handed it to Tiger and urged her to open it. Tiger's hand went to her heart when she saw the pearl choker with matching teardrop earrings inside. She looked up at Lilli, not comprehending.

"This is the something borrowed. Fritz gave these to me on our wedding day as a gift. I'm lending them to you on your wedding day."

Tiger, fighting tears, hugged Lilli. "Merci. I will take very good care of them," was all she could get out. Lilli then helped her by fastening the choker around her slender throat while Tiger put on the earrings. It was then they both noticed LeBeau and Newkirk standing in the doorway of the changing room with big grins on their faces; LeBeau had his hands behind his back. Tiger indicated the gift Lilli had lent her.

"What a beautiful bride," LeBeau stated. "Pierre, you did manifique work. And Lilli, your gift only adds to the bride's beauty and Pierre's work as a seamstress."

"Thanks mate. But to quote you, the dress is nothing without a beautiful bride to wear it."

"Merci, Louis, Pierre," said Tiger, her voice choking. "It is beautiful. I can never thank you enough."

"You two did a wonderful job," Lilli agreed. "It's simply beautiful."

"Thank you," said a proud Newkirk with a grinning LeBeau beside him.

Lilli picked up the tiara and looked at it marveling at the workmanship, the fake diamonds reflecting the light in the tunnel in rainbow colors. Tiger's reddish-blond hair was parted in front, curled back and pinned to the top of her head with a single ringlet on each side of her head in front of her ears. Lilli set the tiara in front of the bun and using bobby pins to hold it in place. The lace in the back hung to her waist while in front it was just a bit shorter.

"All you need now is something blue," Lilli said.

"I think Newkirk and I can handle that," LeBeau added as he brought his hands out from behind his back, and was holding a bridal bouquet consisting of forget-me-nots in bright blue. "We found these in Klink's garden. Consider it his contribution. He just doesn't know it yet."

Just then Captain Fritz Fuchs of the Gestapo, looking, especially to Lilli, even more handsome in his dark suit which highlighted his blond hair and blue eyes, walked in. He was holding the hand of his four year-old son David who, like his father, was dressed in a dark suit. In his other hand he held a regular size box. Fuchs kissed Lilli's cheek and then smiled warmly at Tiger. "Tiger, you make a lovely bride. Robert will be speechless."

"Merci," said Tiger blushing as she lowered her eyes, a tinge of red appearing on her cheeks. Fuchs then handed the box to LeBeau.

"This is from Oskar and Greta Schnitzer. They said you'll know what to do with it."

"What is it?" asked Newkirk curiously. He leaned forward as Fuchs whispered something in his ear. The Englander grinned. "It'll go perfectly."

"What will go perfectly?" asked LeBeau looking up at Newkirk. The Englander bent over and whispered to the Frenchman who grinned as he listed. "Parfait!" he responded.

Fuchs let out a deep breath. "Well Tiger, are you ready to get married?"

"Oui, I am more than ready. My Robert is waiting."

Newkirk took one of the white napkins and instructed David hold out his hands palms upward and placed the two wedding rings in the center. Fuchs reminded his son not to drop either the napkin or the rings. He then held out his arm in a gentlemanly fashion and Tiger took it after covering her face with the veil. Lilli stood a few paces in front of them while LeBeau, after putting the box on the floor safely out of the way, started to leave the tunnel when he suddenly put a hand on Newkirk's arm.

"Is everything ready?" asked Fuchs looking at Newkirk and LeBeau for an indication.

"Pierre, I just remembered something," LeBeau said nervously.

"What's that, mate?" Newkirk asked getting suddenly nervous himself.

"Did Andre remember to put film in the camera?"

Newkirk heaved a sigh of relief. "I put it in meself and made sure he has an extra roll in his jacket pocket. No problem."

LeBeau smiled. "_Now_ everything is ready."

* * *

Hogan stood on the red carpet beside Kinch with Sergeant Wilkerson behind him. Hogan was still amazed at what his men had done for the tunnel being used for the wedding. He noticed all the floral arrangements and knew that Klink would be screaming about his garden. But right now Hogan didn't really care. Looking up he saw the red, white and blue balloons with lace and satin ribbons hanging from the ends in each corner of the tunnel with a long streamer of satin hanging over the tunnel opening like a border. He saw Newkirk and LeBeau hurrying in and joining Carter and the other guests. LeBeau nodded to Kinch and Hogan before he started with his "Da dat da da. Da dat da da."

Lilli entered first and stood in front of Sergeant Wilkerson but on the opposite side from Hogan and Kinch. Hogan's mouth fell open and his eyes widened as he stared at Tiger as she entered holding onto the arm of Bluebird. Even behind the veil Hogan could see she was smiling shyly. He couldn't believe how beautiful she looked in her wedding dress. She actually took his breath away. As they got closer, she and Hogan looked at each other as if there was nobody else in the tunnel but them. As they got closer, Tiger only saw Hogan.

"It's a gown by Yvette," she said demurely. Hogan's head turned toward LeBeau and Newkirk who were sitting with wide smiles on their faces, and giving Hogan the 'thumbs up' sign. All he could do is shake his head in amazement as it dawned on him the truth behind all the distractions by Wilson, Bluebird, Schnitzer and the fake fight. He looked sideways at Kinch who could only grin and shrug his shoulders. Finally, Fuchs placed Tiger's hand in Hogan's and went to sit down beside Schnitzer while David stood close to Tiger holding the napkin with the rings and looking nervously at his father. As Hogan lifted Tiger's veil and lifted it backward over her head, he could only stare into her moist eyes.

"You're so beautiful, you steal my breath away," he said softly. Hogan continued to marvel at the workmanship and care Newkirk and LeBeau put into the gown. It was a creamy white rayon material with a sensual drape to it. The neckline was cutaway with padded shoulders and a shirred draped bodice. The sleeves were long and narrow with what was called a gauntlet peak at the wrists. The midriff was fitted with a basque waist. The skirt part was gathered and fell in fluid-like folds to the floor.(1) He and Tiger faced each other and held each other's hands. Kinch nodded to Sergeant Wilkerson.

Wilkerson looked out at the small group and then down at his open bible. "Dearly beloved: We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man, Robert Edward Hogan, and the woman, Marie Louise Monet, in Holy Matrimony." As he continued reading Hogan and Tiger continued gazing into each other's eyes while trying to pay attention to what Wilkerson was saying.

Wilkerson smiled warmly at both of them. "Robert and Marie have each decided to forgo the traditional marriage vows and have decided instead to recite their own vows. Robert…"

Hogan, feeling his shirt sticking to him under his jacket knew he hadn't felt this nervous on his first bombing mission. He exhaled deeply and held one of Tiger's hands over his heart as he looked into her face.

"Marie, I stand here today, in front of our family and friends, to give myself to you. Before you, life had no meaning. I was a drifter in search of a home. Now I've found it and I can't wait to spend the rest of my days with you. On this day, I pledge to you my love and happiness." He couldn't believe he had gotten through it without messing it up.

"Marie…" said Wilkerson.

Tiger held one of Hogan's hands over her heart and like him, gazed steadily into his brown eyes. "I used to be afraid of falling in love, of giving my heart away. How could I trust a man to love me, to give me all that I wanted to give to him. Robert, when I met you, I realized how much we could share together. You have renewed my life: Today I join that life with yours."

Wilkerson then continued. "Robert and Marie, you have determined that you would seal your vows today by the exchanging of rings. The rings you give and receive this day are marvelous symbols of endless love. The rings are made of gold, a symbol of purity. May your thoughts towards each other be pure. The ring is an unbroken circle, having no end, so it is emblematic of the enduring and unending love you have for each other. Robert…"

Hogan turned slightly and David who, by now, was tired and bored as only a four-year-old could be, took a few steps closer. Hogan picked up one of the rings and held it up in front of Tiger. "Marie, I give you this ring as a symbol of our vows, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, with this ring, I thee wed." He then slipped the ring on her finger above the engagement ring.

"Marie…"

Picking up her grandfather's ring, Tiger held it up in front of the Colonel and repeated the words he had just spoken to her. She then slipped it on his ring finger. They both held each other's hands. Wilkerson read his script carefully placed inside his bible again.

"In as much as you have each pledged to the other your lifelong commitment, love and devotion, I now pronounce you husband and wife, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder. Robert, You may kiss your bride!"

Tiger, with tears rolling down her cheeks and Hogan with his patented lopsided grin, then kissed passionately as the guests applauded and cheered. Keeping with tradition, Tiger then threw her bouquet; but since all the women there were already married, she made sure it landed in Newkirk's lap. The Englander nervously picked it up and quickly handed it to Carter who didn't seem to mind since he had a girl waiting for him back home. Hogan turned to his best man and gave Kinch a hug and pat on the back.

"Congratulations, Colonel," Kinch said returning the hug and pat on the back. The radioman and Tiger then kissed each other on the cheek. "Be happy, Tiger."

The guests gathered around the newlyweds. Tiger was bursting with happiness as she and LeBeau, Carter and Newkirk kissed each other's cheeks. It was followed by her exchanging kisses with each of the guests. The men then individually congratulated the Colonel. Lastly, she kissed David on the cheek and the little boy promptly wiped his face with the napkin. Finally, Hogan and Tiger thanked Sergeant Wilkerson who kissed the bride on her cheek and firmly gripped Hogan's hand.

"Colonel, it was an honor for me to marry you and Tiger. I hope both of you will have a long and happy marriage and life."

Hogan sighed. "Thank you Sergeant. Couldn't have gotten through it without you."

Newkirk nudged Carter with an elbow; the Sergeant reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the camera. "Uh, Colonel…"

Hogan turned and faced his young Sergeant. "Carter?"

"Sir, if you have a moment, I'd like to take one or two pictures of you and Tiger together. Just the two of you."

"No problem. Tiger?"

She turned and looked at Hogan who explained to her what Carter wanted to do and she stood very close to her new husband with their arms around each other's waists. Carter snapped the picture followed by a picture of Tiger and the Colonel separately. He then took pictures of all the guests and the decorations.

While Tiger was speaking with Lilli, Hogan gathered his team around him.

"You guys did a wonderful job with the decorations. Newkirk and LeBeau, the wedding gown was stunning. I've never seen anything like it and I know Tiger hasn't."

Mon Colonel, the wedding gown can also be worn as an evening gown," LeBeau told him with a big smile.

"Really?" Hogan said with raised eyebrows. "Tiger will love that I know. But you guys outdid yourselves."

"You ain't seen nothing yet, boy, I mean sir," said Carter.

"He's right, Gov'nor," added Newkirk. "You and the missus still have a reception to go to."

Hogan grinned as he wondered what other surprises his men had in store for him.

* * *

(1) The description of the wedding gown was a design found on the website Tangerine Boutique and is an evening gown that can double as a wedding gown.


	18. Chapter 18The Perfect End to a Perfec

**Chapter 18-The Perfect End to a Perfect Day**

Hogan and Tiger were stunned the moment they stood in the entrance of the tunnel room set up for the reception. There were more red, white and blue balloons and satin streamers, along with more floral arrangements. Above the entrance hung a banner on which, in block letters, was printed: 'CONGRATULATIONS COLONEL AND MRS. HOGAN!' Hogan's smile told his team when he looked at them that he was overcome with emotion at what they had done. But in his mind, Hogan suspected by the amount of flowers he had seen that Klink's garden, by now, must resemble a desert. Inwardly he had to laugh at the image. But right now he had to blink several times to keep the tears in his eyes from falling. It was then his eyes fell on the table on which sat the china, wine glasses, regular glasses, silverware, linen napkins all of which he knew were from Klink's quarters as was the white linen tablecloth. There were one floral arrangement sitting on each corner of the table; as were a small pile of wrapped gifts, along with three of Klink's warming trays, salad and the most beautiful 3-tier wedding cake Hogan and Tiger had ever seen. On the floor sat one of the wash tubs filled with ice and several bottles of champagne and two bottles of grape juice. On two wooden crates sat the record player and a small stack of records. Carter quickly took pictures of the decorations and the table with everything on it, and finally, the wedding cake on which LeBeau had written 'Happy Wedding Day, C.H. and T.' amidst dozens of colored roses which symbolized love and passion.

While Carter took photos, LeBeau, Kinch and Newkirk poured champagne for everyone and grape juice in a wine glass for David which made the little boy feel like a grown up. After a few short minutes and a few drinks of champagne, Kinch tapped on his wine glass with his pen. When he saw that he had everybody's attention, he let out a deep breath to hopefully calm his nerves; it didn't work…much.

Holding his wine glass at waist level, he gazed around at the gathering. "Good evening. For those of you who don't know me…" there were chuckles from the guests which relaxed Kinch a bit. "…I am the Colonel's second-in-command and my name is Sergeant James Kinchloe but everybody calls me Kinch. I would first like to express my heartfelt thanks to the Colonel and Marie for the privilege of being the best man on their special day. I originally had a speech written, but at the last minute it didn't say everything I wanted to, so I thought it best to just 'wing it' as the Colonel tells us sometimes and speak from my heart. On a serious note, a soldier couldn't have an honor more special than being the best man at his commanding officer's wedding." He then turned his gaze onto the Colonel and Tiger exclusively. "I am very happy for Colonel Hogan. And Marie looks absolutely stunning today, but this pales in comparison to the beauty of her soul. Her caring nature, loyalty and heart of gold are a wonderful addition not only to the Colonel's life, but to our little family here as well. We are truly blessed to now be able to call Marie our sister. But before I offer a toast to the Colonel and Tiger, I'd like to leave you with one thought: You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry someone you can't live without. In this case, these two really have married the right person. May God bless you both." Kinch raised his glass. "To the bride and groom."(1)

As everybody toasted the couple, Fuchs and Lilli gazed into each other's eyes as they clinked glasses as did Oskar and Greta Schnitzer all knowing how Hogan and Tiger felt and how Kinch's words expressed how they felt about their respective spouses. Kinch joined Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk each of whom patted him on the back congratulating him on his speech.

"Your words were bel et sincere, mon ami," said LeBeau with tears in his eyes.(2)

"You did good, mate," Newkirk added quietly.

"Boy," chimed in Carter lastly. "I wish I could speak as eloquently as you."

Kinch let out a deep breath. "Thanks guys, I'm surprised I made it all the way through it as it wasn't what I wrote." He turned when he felt a hand on his shoulder; it was Hogan.

"Kinch, I have no idea what you wrote, but I'm sure it couldn't match what you just said. Thank you; from both Tiger and I." Hogan then sighed and looked at the little Frenchman. "LeBeau, I have no idea what smells so delicious, but I'm starving."

* * *

After everybody had had their fill of the appetizers which consisted of the fruit and cheese platter, followed by a salad and a main course of sausages, potatoes and dinner rolls, more champagne and juice for David, Hogan's men felt it was time for the newlyweds to have their first dance. LeBeau walked to the record player and picked up the top record, one by Glen Miller which he knew was one of the Colonel's favorites called Moonlight Serenade.(3) As he turned on the record player he glanced around.

"May I please have everybody's attention?" he asked. Seeing the gathering looking at him he smiled. "We think it is time for the Colonel and his lovely wife to have their first dance. I will now put on one of Colonel Hogan's favorites." He put the record on and it began to play. He smiled widely as he watched Hogan take Tiger in his arms and dance. He then nodded to Kinch, Newkirk and Carter to join him. When they did, he whispered to them collectively and when they separated, Kinch stood beside the record player while Carter continued taking pictures. Newkirk approached the table and grabbed one of the packages which Fuchs had told him about while LeBeau went into the changing room to get the package from the Schnitzers, the lone bottle of champagne and Klink's ice bucket. He waited for Newkirk to join him just outside the reception area and then the two of them disappeared knowing they had to be back within fifteen minutes or less.

As Moonlight Serenade continued to play, Schnitzer and his wife along with Fuchs and Lilli joined them on the dance floor while Kinch was not only watching them, but making sure Hogan didn't notice two of his men were missing. If he did it could ruin the final surprise of the night. But he needn't have worried; for Newkirk and LeBeau returned as the song was ending. Kinch put on another record for everybody, but this time Hogan, Fuchs and Schnitzer let Baker, Olsen and Wilson have a turn on the dance floor. Hogan went to stand with his team with arms folded, his eyes watching Tiger as she danced with Wilson. He smiled a smile of utter contentment and it was evident to his men.

"This evening and what you guys have done is better than any sabotage mission we could have pulled off," he said. He then noticed David standing in a corner alone watching his mother. The Colonel approached the blond-haired, blue-eyed youngster and crouched down in front of him. "David, you okay?" he asked. "You look a little tired."

The youngster shook his head. He then pointed to one of Hogan's insignia's on his shoulder. "Bird," he said. Hogan looked down at his insignia, then smiled at the boy.

"That's right. It's called an eagle. Do you know what rank that is?" He saw the boy shake his head. "That makes me a Colonel." Then suddenly, David attempted to give Hogan his best salute which wasn't much of one at his age. Hogan grinned as he returned the salute. He then picked up the youngster and held him in his arms. He looked around hearing footsteps and saw Fuchs approaching. He had seen Hogan interact with his son and smiled at his friend.

"You're going to make a wonderful father one day, Robert," he said.

Hogan let out a deep breath as he kissed the youngster's cheek. "Hopefully one day won't be long in coming and Tiger and I can start a family. I'd love to have a son like this little one of yours. You're a lucky man, Fritz."

Fuchs put a hand on Hogan's shoulder. "The war cannot go on forever, Robert. Trust me when I say there will be plenty of time for you and Marie. Papa Bear will then have a new den of cubs to look after. Of that I'm positive."

"Papa Bear!" David suddenly uttered causing both Fuchs and Hogan to share a laugh. Hogan then handed the boy to his father before looking at the guests and noticed that LeBeau and Tiger were taking a spin on the dance floor, Sergeant Wilkerson was dancing with Lilli and Carter was partnered with Mrs. Schnitzer. Newkirk was busy snapping pictures right now. It seemed to Hogan the only two of his men who hadn't had a dance yet were Kinch and Newkirk and he would make sure they did.

"After this I think there should be one more dance and then cut the cake and open the gifts," Hogan explained. "I think this young man is getting sleepy."

"I think you're right," Fuchs replied hugging his son who yawned and leaned his head on his father's shoulder.

As the song being played was ending Hogan glanced over his shoulder. "Excuse me." He walked over to Kinch. "Kinch, put on one more record. You and Newkirk haven't had a chance out there on the dance floor yet."

"That's okay, Colonel," Newkirk replied. "This is yours and Tiger's reception."

"Well I'm pulling rank, Corporal," Hogan said with a smile. "You and Kinch out on the dance floor and that's an order." Hogan then changed the record himself as LeBeau and Carter returned to his side; Carter took the camera from his best friend as Newkirk partnered with Lilli Fuchs and Kinch with Tiger Before the Colonel spun Greta Schnitzer around the dance floor, he whispered to LeBeau that Fuchs son was getting tired and it might be wise to cut the cake and open the gifts soon; LeBeau promised. Now watching everything from his position beside the record player, the Frenchman grinned. Everything had come off perfectly so far. Only one last surprise left and it would be the perfect end to a perfect day for the Colonel and Tiger.

After the last dance had ended, LeBeau turned off the record player and announced that the happy couple would now open their gifts which would be followed by the cutting of the cake. Everybody gathered around the Colonel and Tiger as they stood beside the area of the table where there were a small pile of wrapped gifts and several envelopes. Hogan handed a manila envelope to Tiger and suggested she open it which she did. When she removed the contents she squealed with delight seeing the French marriage certificate with a brief note from Fuchs. Tiger stood on tip toes and kissed Fuchs on the cheek and thanked him. Fuchs first handed David to Lilli and removed his pen from inside his jacket then waved to Sergeant Wilkerson to join him. Handing the pen to the Sergeant, Wilkerson signed the certificate and then Fuchs signed as the witness to the ceremony.

Newkirk picked up a stack of envelopes from barracks two and handed them to their commanding officer. "These are from all of us in the barracks, Gov'nor," he said proudly. Hogan, looking through the stack, picked out seven of them and put the others in his jacket pocket for later when he and Tiger were alone. He opened the first one which was from LeBeau, and read it aloud:

"There are three things that last: faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love. Wishing you a life filled with everlasting bliss." Hogan looked at the little Frenchman and smiled. LeBeau saluted his commander. The second card Hogan handed to Tiger; it was from Newkirk.

"Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction." Hogan and Tiger both smiled at the Englander who looked a bit embarrassed that he showed himself a bit of a romantic.

Tiger opened another one from Wilson this time while handing Hogan one from Carter. "Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end." She blew a kiss to the medic who seemed a bit embarrassed. She then opened the one from Kinch. "True love stories never have endings." She smiled at the radioman who grinned back at her. "Merci, Sergeant," she said. Hogan then opened Carter's.

"Marriage is all about driving each other crazy; old people just prefer to drive slower." Hogan fought to control himself to keep from laughing as his eyes sought out the young Sergeant. Finding him he grinned at him while Carter shrugged his shoulders. "Now I know what the file cards were for," Hogan added with a smirk.

Newkirk simply shook his head. "That's so bloody romantic, Carter," he said disbelievingly.

There were two left. Hogan opened the one from Baker. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." Looking up, Hogan nodded and smiled at the young man who grinned at his commanding officer. He then opened the last one which was from Olsen.

"Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one." Hogan looked at the Sergeant and smiled. Olsen returned his commander's smile. The Colonel patted his pocket as he looked around. "The others Tiger and I will read later. We promise."

"Whatever you say, sir," Newkirk said slyly while Kinch and Carter grinned; only LeBeau rolled his eyes and shook his head. The Englander maintained his smirk even when Hogan gave him a look. Tiger smiled and lowered her eyes; a tinge of red coloring her cheeks.

Hogan was curious about the other gifts. He opened one of them and saw the lovely candle holders shaped like lilies or 'tiger lilies'. He opened a slightly longer package which he suspected contained candles for the holders. "How appropriate the holders are shaped liked tiger lilies," he said. He then picked up the final gift and opened it. His breath caught in his throat as he studied the picture frames. "They're beautiful," he said admiringly. "Thank you, all of you."

Tiger smiled. "Oui," she said in agreement. "Merci from both of us for everything you all have done for us to make this day so special."

Kinch picked up the cake knife and handed it to Hogan. "Colonel, I think it's time for the honors."

Taking the knife in his hand, Hogan handed it to Tiger and placing his hand over hers, guided her hand as she cut the first slice of the cake. Once that was done, Hogan took a fork and fed Tiger a forkful of cake. She repeated the process with her husband. Hogan's eyebrows arched as he looked at LeBeau.

"Ummmm. Butter crème filling. One of my favorites," Hogan said before noticing Tiger had a tiny bit of icing on her upper lip. He kissed her and licked it off at the same time although nobody noticed exactly how the icing was removed exactly. After that, more of the cake was cut and served to the guests.

* * *

It was near midnight by the time the last of the guests had left, leaving Hogan and Tiger, and Hogan's team alone in the reception area. Newkirk and LeBeau had childish grins on their faces.

Hogan and Tiger glanced at each other as they put their arms around each other's waists; Hogan turned to face his men. "Uh, fellas, I think it's time for Tiger and I to be alone. So, if you could just point us in the direction of the bridal suite it would be most appreciated?"

"That, Gov'nor, is the last surprise of the evening," said Newkirk rubbing his hands together like a child in eager anticipation. LeBeau, with folded arms, just chuckled in amusement. "We promise," Newkirk added.

Hogan glanced at Tiger. "I don't know if I should be eager with anticipation or afraid to ask," he said. Tiger reached upward and kissed her new husband's lips and smiled.

Looking at Newkirk, LeBeau rolled his eyes. "Okay you two, if you will just follow us." He and the Englander led the way out of the reception area. After awhile, Hogan realized exactly where they were heading.

"Uh, fellas, in case you're not aware of where we're going, we're heading in the direction of Klink's quarters," Hogan reminded them.

"We know that, sir," Newkirk replied still walking with LeBeau ahead of the newlyweds. "It's just that it's a…I believe you Yanks call it a pit stop, before you reach your destination."

Hogan glanced at Tiger and shrugged as he continued walking. "I'm game if you are."

She smiled sweetly as if she knew something he didn't. "Oui, I am game," she replied.

Reaching the ladder, LeBeau climbed up first and moved the pot belly stove aside and stepped inside the living room with Newkirk only a few steps behind him. Both men then helped Tiger into the living room with Hogan a second or two behind her. Hogan folded his arms and looked at his two men.

"Okay, before either Tiger or I take another step, why are we here? What is this so called pit-stop we're making?"

LeBeau looked at Newkirk before both men faced their commander. "Mon Colonel, everything will become clear in a few minutes." He gave Hogan his best puppy-dog expression which he knew didn't match Carter's by a long shot.

Hogan raised his eyes towards the ceiling with a smirk on his face as he threw up his arms. "Fine."

"Merci, Colonel. But before we take another step, you and Tiger must close your eyes and promise not to open them until we tell you to." The two men waited as Hogan and Tiger both shut their eyes; then, Newkirk took Hogan's arm while LeBeau took Tiger's, and led them to their destination. After nearly a minute they both let go and Newkirk turned on the light.

"You can both open your eyes now," he announced.

When the newlyweds opened their eyes they were speechless at the sight before them. They were in Klink's bedroom. The blanket had been turned down, and on each pillow lay a red rose. Beside the bed sat a small table on which was a silver tray with two wine glasses along with a filled ice bucket with a bottle of champagne in it, chilling. And finally, beside the tray sat a bowl of caviar nestled on a saucer with ice on it, and a plate with crackers on it. Tiger clasped her hands in front of her face, her eyes glistening and a big smile on her face. When Hogan finally found his voice again, he looked first at Newkirk and then LeBeau, both of whom were grinning like little children. "I don't believe you did this," Hogan said, a tremble in his voice. "When did you find the time to do this?"

"We made the time, sir," Newkirk explained. "We, that is Louie and I, both figured since you couldn't exactly go to a hotel in town for your wedding night, you still deserved to have a real bridal suite; or as close to one as you could."

"Oui. It was the main reason we got Klink out of town. We needed his quarters for the bridal suite."

"But, but, I thought getting Klink and Schultz out of the way was because of preparing the food? At least that was what I kept telling myself. But I never imagined…"

"That's what we wanted you to think, Gov'nor. And by the way, sir, Klink won't be back until the seventeenth, so you use of this room for at least three days not including tonight."

"But, what about Felix?" asked a still dazed Hogan.

"No problem, sir. That was the reason behind the fake argument by me and Carter. Kinch had to talk to Felix about using the Kommandant's quarters. He'll remain in your quarters at night during the time you and the missus are here."

"And during the daytime, you'll both change living quarters using the tunnel entrance in the living room."

Tiger promptly approached Newkirk and giving him a tight hug, kissed him on the cheeks and then repeated everything with LeBeau. "Merci for everything. Robert and I are very grateful."

Newkirk had a slight tinge of red on his cheeks as he motioned with his head for LeBeau to follow him as it was time for them to leave. As they reached the doorway, Newkirk looked back. "Three things before we leave. First, there is a gift for you from Lilli Fuchs in the bathroom, Tiger. The instructions were for you to open it without the Gov'nor present. She said to tell you when you saw what it was you'd understand why. Second, we'll bring up the overnight bag you brought with you when you came and leave it on the sofa along with the Gov'nor's pajamas, robe and slippers. And third, after roll call in the mornin' LeBeau will bring you both breakfast. Bye, bye, luv. Gov'nor." Newkirk pulled the door closed behind them finally leaving Hogan and Tiger alone.

"Why don't you pour us some champagne, mon amour?" Tiger asked as she began nibbling on her husband's ear. In response, Hogan cleared his throat and, taking her hand, led her to her feet and in the direction of the bedroom door.

"First things first," he said opening the door and escorting her into the living room. Once there, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her over the threshold and back into the bedroom where he placed her on the bed. "I didn't want to forget carrying you over the threshold." Smiling as she sat up, Tiger looked around at the decorations again.

"Your men did a wonderful job," she said. "I never expected anything so magnifique."

Massaging his forehead, Hogan sat down on the foot of the bed. "I still can't believe they did this. This is been amazing." Tiger sat down in his lap and wrapped her arms around her new husband's neck and he wrapped his around her waist. They kissed passionately.

"They had a good teacher, non?" Tiger purred when they broke apart, breathless.

Hogan chuckled. "I'd better keep a few things to myself then," he said. "If I teach them everything, they won't need me anymore. I'll be out-of-a-job here."

"You will always be needed by them and by me, mon amour," as Tiger again leaned forward and pressed her lips against Hogan's.

When they again broke apart, Hogan exhaled deeply and cleared his throat. "I think you'd better see what that gift is Lilli left for you that I'm not suppose to see when you open it," he said. "I'll open the champagne and have everything ready, Mrs. Hogan."

Getting to her feet, Tiger ran her hand down one of Hogan's cheeks and across his chin. "I'll be right back," she purred. Going into the bathroom, she closed the door leaving Hogan running a hand over his dark hair and letting out another deep breath as he slowly got to his feet.

* * *

When Tiger finally emerged from the bathroom, Hogan had shed his uniform jacket and was pouring two glasses of champagne. Hearing the bathroom door open, he picked up the glasses and turned around, only to freeze at the sight that greeted him.

Tiger stood in the bathroom doorway with one hand on her hip and the other behind her head, her hair now loose and hanging about her shoulders. But instead of the wedding dress she was clad in a pale peach-colored silk Charmeuse teddy with a French lace bodice and lace decorating the leg portions with a tiny silk flower over the left breast and spaghetti straps.(4)

"Wow!" was all Hogan could utter as he slowly sat down on the bed, staring.

"You like?" she purred as she stepped into the room and did a slow spin. "It's from Lilli. It has a matching robe but I left it hanging in the bathroom."

"I must remember to thank her," Hogan barely managed to get out of his mouth as he handed her a glass of champagne when she sat down beside him on the bed.

"Here's to us, Mrs. Hogan. Man, I like the sound of that."

Tiger nuzzled his neck which she knew would have the desired effect. After-all, it had been a _long_ two weeks of cold showers for both of them. And according to Newkirk, they had a lot of time to make up for in three days. She gently blew her hot breath in his ear. Her actions intensified things even more between them.

"Oui, I like the sound of Mrs. Hogan as well, mon amour." Clinking their glasses, they both took a drink of champagne, their eyes burning with lust and pent-up unbridled passion just waiting to be unleashed. Hogan took her glass and sat them both on the table. He then gently gripped Tiger's shoulders and eased her back on the bed, sliding the straps off her shoulders as he did so. Looking down, he noticed the teddy also had a 2-button flap piece. "You really like the teddy?" she asked him as she unbuttoned his shirt and began running her hands over his bare chest.

Hogan brought his face close to hers and began nuzzling her neck. "Oh I like it very much," he murmured as he ran his lips down her neck and across her collarbones to the other side of her throat and up to her other ear. "But I'd _love_ to see you out of it even more," he added with a grin. Tiger pulled his shirt off his shoulders.

"Ooooh, Robert," she cooed just as their lips and then bodies met and became one.

* * *

(1) The best man's speech with a few things added to it, was from a sample Best Man speech from and from ..

(2) "Bel et sincere" means "Beautiful and sincere."

(3) Moonlight Serenade(my favorite Glen Miller song) was recorded 4/4/39 on the RCA Bluebird label and was a top ten hit on the US pop charts in 1939. In fact, it was number five on the 1939 Billboard. Glen Miller, on 12/15/44, boarded a transport plane to Paris and never was seen again. The accepted belief is that his plane crashed over the English Channel. In 1942, he broke up the orchestra in order to accept the rank of Captain in the US Army Air Corp. He was forty when he died. Information courtesy of Answers. Com.

(4) Originally marketed under the name envelope chemise or camiknickers; the ladder coined in the 1920s when they were introduced as a one piece garment and it was derived from camisole and knickers. It was a form of bodysuit-like lingerie, often worn in the boudoir. It gained popularity during WW2 when women who served in military related duties wore trousers instead of skirts. The teddy, for example was named after its inventor: Theodore Baer.


	19. Chapter 19Ring Around Stalag 13

**Chapter 19-Ring-Around-Stalag 13**

Felix arrived back at Stalag 13 with about an hour to spare before roll call was called. He was glad all was seemingly quiet. He ordered Corporal Langenscheidt to park the car and then prepare for morning roll call while he went to the Kommandant's quarters for a few minutes. Entering the living room, Felix noticed the bedroom door closed and everything quiet. He grinned as he glanced at the closed door hating to do what he was about to do, but appearances had to be maintained. He knocked on the bedroom door. "Roll call's in less than an hour, Colonel," he said.

"Go away and start without me," a somewhat muffled voice called back from the other side of the door. Felix chuckled and walked out of the Kommandant's quarters and headed to the Kommandantur to begin his day. But not before he noticed the garden.

* * *

Langenscheidt entered barracks two at exactly 0500 hours. "Raus, raus! All prisoners outside for roll call! Mach schnell! Let's go! Raus!"

"Go raus yourself," Newkirk moaned not opening his eyes and he pulled the thin blanket over his head. Langenscheidt slapped the side of his bunk, shocking the Englander awake. "Blimey, mate. Couldn't you have just knocked? You bloody well scared the livin' daylights out of me."

"Yeah," Carter replied sitting up on his bunk which was beneath Newkirk's. "Have a little sympathy, why don't you?"

"Sorry," Langenscheidt apologized sensing the prisoners were kidding with him. "But roll call is in five minutes."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," LeBeau groaned running his hands down his face. "We'll be right out." As he yawned he noticed the German Corporal leave the barracks and close the door. He then glanced at Hogan's closed door for a long moment.

"Does anybody know if the Colonel is in his quarters?" he asked.

"I'll check," Kinch told them as he walked toward Hogan's quarters; he knocked on the door. "Sir, are you in there? Colonel?" There was no answer. Kinch knocked again, louder this time. "Colonel Hogan?" Silence. Turning the doorknob Kinch cracked open the door and peeked inside. "Sir?" He then closed the door and chuckled as he looked at the others. "He's not in there." Kinch saw Newkirk chuckle and LeBeau grin while lifting his eyes toward the heavens. Only Carter seemed oblivious to their commanding officer not being in his quarters.

"Well, we can't do anything about it so I suggest we all go out for roll call before we're all in some kind of trouble," said Kinch as he headed to the door of the barracks and opened it.

* * *

Corporal Langenscheidt had completed his counting of the prisoners standing in formation when Felix approached. "Corporal, report," he said. He noticed Langenscheidt's nervous look when he turned to face him.

"Herr Kommandant, I, I beg to report there is a prisoner missing."

Felix appeared stunned and angry. "Who is missing, Corporal?" he asked intensely as his eyes turned toward the two lines of men at the same time Hogan was walking toward his place at the end of the front line beside Newkirk.

The Colonel pulled up the collar of his leather jacket before covering his mouth with the back of his hand trying to hide a yawn. _I'm getting too old to live on only twenty minutes of sleep._

Langenscheidt smiled_. _"Now all prisoners are present and accounted for, Herr Kommandant."

Felix, hands clasped behind him had a cold, dark expression on his face. "Are we keeping you awake, Colonel Hogan?" he asked sarcastically.

Hogan hooked his thumbs in his side pockets. "Sorry, Kommandant," he apologized. "I had trouble sleeping last night. Only caught about twenty minutes." Some of the men in line snickered or chuckled.

"SILENCE!" Felix roared looking at the men before turning his attention back to Hogan. "Regardless, it was so nice of you to join us this morning, Colonel."

"Better late than never is my motto, sir," said Hogan wearily. He watched as Felix approached him and stood face-to-face with him, his cold blue eyes staring into Hogan's tired brown ones.

"Still with the wisecracks, I see, Colonel. So, not only did you not learn anything from the last time I warned you about your wisecracks, but today you are late for roll call. I will have to teach you a lesson. But before I do, I'd like you to explain something to me, Colonel."

"If I can, sir."

"I returned to camp an hour this morning and when I walked in the direction of the Kommandant's quarters imagine my surprise when I saw the garden outside."

"Sir?"

"There is not a single flower in Kommandant Klink's garden outside his quarters. Not a single flower! Would you care to explain why that is?"

Hogan looked confused. "There are flowers outside the Kommandant's quarters, sir? I never knew that." He looked at the other prisoners. "Did any of you men know there were flowers outside the Kommandant's quarters?"

Everybody started talking at once making it impossible to understand anything anyone was saying.

"I DEMAND SILENCE!" Felix shouted so loudly at the men even Langenscheidt jumped before swallowing the lump in his throat as he could only watch.

"Sorry, sir," Hogan replied with a smirk. "Don't know anything about any flowers missing. Never knew there were any."

"Very well, Colonel Hogan. As I suspected, you and your men were up to some shenanigans while I was out of camp last night. As I cannot prove which man or men it was, you personally will be held responsible. As Colonel Klink will be returning on the seventeenth of this month, you alone will be restricted to the barracks until he returns. I will let him deal with you about it at that time."

Hogan feigned being upset. "Kommandant, that's not fair! I didn't…"

"The decision has been made, Colonel. You will appear for morning and evening roll call. Other than those two times, you will remain in the barracks alone while the rest of your men are out and about."

"Wait a bleedin' minute, Major…" Newkirk said raising his voice. "You can't do that to the Colonel. He didn't have anything to do with whatever happened to your ruddy garden."

"It doesn't matter, Corporal. Colonel Hogan is in command of the prisoners here and since nobody seems to know anything about the missing flowers, the Colonel will be the one punished. That takes care of two things: One, Colonel Hogan will be punished, and two, the rest of you men will know that it was your actions that resulted in the Colonel's punishment. That's all." He looked at Langenscheidt. "Corporal Langenscheidt?"

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant?"

"You may dismiss your men."

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. But may I first ask a question, sir?"

"Of course, Corporal. What is it?"

"After I dismiss the prisoners, do you want me to assign a work detail to replant the flowers missing from the garden?"

Felix's face began to darken again. "Absolutely not, Corporal. The garden will remain as it now is. I want Colonel Klink to see it when he returns. And there will be no need for you to explain things to him, Corporal. I will handle explaining everything to Colonel Klink when he returns and bring him up to date regarding Colonel Hogan's punishment. That's all." Felix saluted and walked away.

Langenscheidt looked apologetically at Hogan who appeared to have a scowl on his face. "All prisoners dismissed!"

The disgruntled prisoners re-entered the barracks and Hogan slammed the door. After a minute or two, he cracked it open and peeked out. Seeing Langenscheidt walking in the direction of the Kommandantur and nobody else around, he gave his men the 'okay' sign with his fingers and closed the door. It was only then did the men all share in the laughter, including Hogan as he sat down on the bench at the table and stifled another yawn. He saw LeBeau place a cup of hot coffee in front of him and accepted it gratefully.

"Blimey, Felix was so convincing out there I thought for a minute he wasn't on our side," said Newkirk with a shake of his head.

"Where were you, mon Colonel?" asked LeBeau. "We thought you'd be on time for roll call this morning." He tied an apron around his waist.

"We were surprised when I went to your quarters this morning and you weren't there, sir," Kinch explained.

Hogan took a drink of coffee and for a moment savored the taste. "Felix, being the sole of discretion he is, knocked on the bedroom door and reminded me there was less than one hour to roll call." He glanced at Newkirk. "At least you don't have to bring my uniform to Klink's quarters. I left my dress uniform in my quarters in the closet."

"Right, sir," the Englander replied with a nod.

Hogan yawned and shook his head again trying to wake up.

"Tired, sir?" asked his young demolitions Sergeant innocently.

"Carter!" shouted Newkirk turning around and looking at his friend. "You can't ask the Colonel a question like that."

Carter also noticed Kinch and LeBeau staring at him with shakes of their heads.

"Well," said Kinch with a grin. "At least Felix gave you a way to spend the next couple of days with Tiger without a lot of confusion. You just have to appear for roll calls and that's it."

"Yep," Hogan agreed. "And unless its an emergency, I don't want to be disturbed other than for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'm on my honeymoon after-all, gentlemen." Hogan put a hand on Newkirk's shoulder. "Before I forget. Thank you for bringing Tiger's overnight bag and my pajamas, slippers and robe and leaving them on the sofa in the living room."

"No problem, sir. I was quiet as a church mouse I was."

LeBeau approached the Colonel. "Mon Colonel, would you and your wife like anything special for breakfast, lunch and dinner today?"

Hogan finished his coffee before he looked at LeBeau. "I'll leave it to you, LeBeau. Surprise us."

"Anything for the newlywed couple," the Frenchman said with a smile. As he went about busying himself at the stove. He glanced over his shoulder when Hogan slowly got to his feet. The Colonel then made his way to the double bunk and slapped the hidden mechanism. As the lower bunk raised and the ladder dropped, the Colonel climbed onto the ladder and started down.

"Where you going, Colonel?" asked Carter.

Hogan paused and grinned at the young Sergeant. "Carter, I'm on my honeymoon for the next few days. You don't think I'm gonna spend it looking at you guys, do you?" That said, Hogan disappeared below.

Newkirk sighed. "Now there goes a man who's definitely in love."

* * *

Tiger was sitting curled up on the bed reading some of the other wedding cards Hogan had been carrying in the pocket of his dress pocket that they had put on the table for them to begin reading before 'other' things took over. She was wearing the teddy and matching robe with her legs drawn up against her body. Sensing somebody enter the bedroom Tiger looked up, and a wide smile lit up her entire face when she saw Hogan. As he came closer to the bed, Tiger put the cards on the small table beside the bed, got to her knees and wrapped her arms around her husband's neck as he engulfed her in his, and they kissed passionately. When they pulled apart, she looked up at him with a quizzical expression.

"Felix just restricted me alone to the barracks for the next three days because of the men devastating Klink's garden," he explained with an amused grin. "I'm only allowed outside for roll call in the morning and evening." He then kissed her forehead. "The rest of that time I'm all yours."

Tiger squealed with delight as she crushed Hogan to her and began trailing kisses down his neck while her slender fingers began slowly unbuttoning his shirt. "We should not waste time, non?" she purred in a husky voice.

Sighing with regret, Hogan grabbed both her hands stopping her. "Unfortunately LeBeau will be coming by soon with breakfast," he said with a touch of sadness in his voice. But it was soon replaced with a chuckle. "But all prisoners are allowed an exercise period each day," he reminded her wagging his eyebrows.

* * *

The day Hogan and Tiger dreaded had finally arrived. July sixteenth; the day before Klink was to return. It was to be the day Tiger was to leave Stalag 13. In other words, the honeymoon was over.

After roll call that morning, Hogan made contact with Schnitzer to inform the vet he needed his assistance in getting Tiger out of camp after evening roll call, and to thank him and his wife for the caviar and crackers. The vet stated he would come by at 2100 hours to pick her up. Hogan promised she would be ready. Then with a weary sigh, he handed the headset back to Kinch and leaned forward, both hands flat on the table staring at nothing in particular.

Kinch sensed a feeling of deep loss in Hogan and he understood. "You're going to miss her aren't you sir?" he asked quietly.

Hogan didn't look at the radioman. "More than you know, Kinch. I've gotten kind of use to having her here. It's going to take some getting use to not having her here again." He sighed. "Well, back to the cold showers," he quipped before his emotions got away from him. He looked at Kinch. "Make sure the guys put back everything they borrowed from Klink back in his quarters as it was and I'll make sure Tiger doesn't leave anything behind when she packs."

"Yes, sir," the radioman promised. "I'll take care of it, sir."

"Thanks." Hogan turned away and headed back in the direction of the Kommandant's quarters and climbed up the ladder. Kinch had watched his commanding officer disappear from the radio room and with a sigh of his own, clasped his hands together and rested his chin on them. _It's too bad Tiger can't stay here permanently with the Colonel. But it's just too damn risky for her and us. Regardless, it's just no damn way to begin a marriage._

* * *

Returning to Klink's quarters, Hogan found Tiger packing her overnight bag carefully. She had taken great care with the wedding dress and veil, and the teddy and robe. She was wearing a skirt with a fluffy sweater, and her long hair was pulled back away from her face in braid. She looked over her shoulder and smiled sadly when she saw Hogan. She picked up the bag and placed it on the floor out of the way. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, they came together, and she buried her face in his chest as they embraced and held each other tightly. "I don't want to leave you," she said, a tremble in her voice.

"And I don't want you to go. I've gotten accustomed to going to sleep and waking up with you beside me."

Raising her head, she looked up into his face. "Then let me stay. I will stay here and fight with Papa Bear's men from Stalag 13. Somebody else can take over for me in the Resistance."

With a slight smile, Hogan kissed her forehead. "I'd like that more than you know. But it isn't safe for any of us. The resistance needs you leading it just as my men need me leading them. We're both too important to what we do and to the people who depend on us. Besides…." he took her right hand in his and fingered her engagement and wedding rings. "… this will be an incentive for you to be careful and remember what took place on July thirteenth, the vows we exchanged, and that our future depends on both of us surviving this craziness."

Sniffling, she nodded although she cast her eyes downward. Then, she took his hand in hers and kissed his wedding ring. "You remember the same thing, mon amour. Our future depends on both of us being here in the end. If only one of us survives, there is no us and therefore no future." Before Hogan had a chance to reply, Tiger crushed him against her while pressing her lips against his with all the passion and force she could muster. When they broke apart, breathless, she looked down while resting both hands on Hogan's chest. "You know, mon amour, I am not leaving until later tonight. Perhaps as we still have some time to spare we might be able to find something to do perhaps, non?"

Hogan suddenly felt it was becoming extremely warm in the room. He could feel beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead. "No, I mean sure. Yes." They looked into each other's eyes. "What did you uh, have in mind?"

A sly smile slowly broke out on her face as she slowly unzipped Hogan's leather jacket and fingered the top buttons of his shirt. "Let me show you, my love," she purred as she slowly fell backward onto the bed pulling him down with her.

* * *

The moment had come too soon for Hogan and Tiger. After spending some quality time together, the duo did a final check of Klink's bedroom to make sure Tiger had left nothing behind. As they were doing that, Hogan's men were busy returning everything they had borrowed back where it had come from. Tiger's overnight bag and a carry bag were already in the tunnel. She would be taking the wedding gifts, the wedding cards and anything else connected to the wedding with her other than her gown and teddy as it would be far too dangerous to keep any of it at Stalag 13. Fresh linen had been put on Klink's bed and the bed was now nice and neat as it had been the day the Kommandant left for Paris.

Hogan, down in the tunnels with Tiger and his men, checked his watch. Schnitzer would be arriving in about fifteen minutes. Alone with Hogan beside the ladder leading up to the tunnel entrance beneath the doghouse in the dog pen, Tiger handed him a small box.

"Would you make certain this is returned to Lilli and tell her again I said merci for lending it to me."

Taking it from her, Hogan opened it and gazed at the pearl choker and matching earrings, remembering how they looked on Tiger. Closing the box he stuck it inside his leather jacket. "I'll see she gets it back. I promise."

With tears in her eyes, Tiger wrapped her arms around Hogan's neck as he wrapped his around her waist and crushed her against him wishing they had more time before she had to leave. The two pressed their lips together and remained that way until LeBeau and Kinch appeared. They hated to interrupt.

"Mon Colonel, Schnitzer is outside the dog pen. Tiger must leave now." He and Kinch grabbed her bags and proceeded up the ladder.

Breaking apart, Tiger put one hand on a rung of the ladder when Hogan grabbed her arm stopping her. Turning, she looked at him questioningly.

"You forgot something," he said sadly as he slowly removed the ring from his finger and dropped it in the open palm of her hand. "You need to hold onto this for me."

Looking at the ring in her palm, she knew Hogan could not keep it with him nor wear it. There was no way he could explain it if he was caught with it. Not wanting to lose it, she reached her hands behind her head and unclasped the gold chain she wore, looped it through the ring and then refastened it around her neck. Now her husband's wedding ring would hang close to her heart where she kept Hogan. Then with a sad smile, she climbed up the ladder and was soon gone from sight. Two minutes later, Newkirk and Kinch reappeared from above. They saw their commander leaning against one of the walls with his thumbs hooked in his pockets. They could sense his feelings.

Kinch patted Hogan on the shoulder before walking away; but LeBeau remained. The little Frenchman looked up into his commander pain-filled eyes.

"Schnitzer just left, Colonel," he said quietly.

"I know, LeBeau," Hogan replied not looking at him.

"Colonel, why didn't you go up with her and say goodbye. It would have given both of you a few more minutes together."

"It wouldn't have mattered, LeBeau. Down here or up above, the pain would hurt all the same. Now Tiger has gone as well." He pulled his right hand from his pocket letting the Frenchman see his ring finger was bare. "So's every trace that I am even married to her."

"Mon Colonel, you don't need a ring to prove you are married to her. In here and here…" he began pointing to Hogan's heart and head. "…you know you are married. That is all the proof you need."

Hogan allowed a small smile to show. "Thanks, LeBeau. I needed to hear that. It makes it hurt just a little bit less in my heart."


	20. Chapter 20Things To Tell You

**Chapter 20-Things To Tell You**

Things were almost back to normal after Klink and Schultz had returned from their trip to Paris. Hogan knew it was only a matter of time before Klink would want to see him about the ravaged garden. And he didn't have long to wait before the big moment arrived. It was right after breakfast that Schultz barged into the barracks telling Hogan that the Kommandant insisted that he bring him to his office immediately. With a roll of his eyes, Hogan got up from the table where he was sitting with his team drinking coffee.

"Probably can't wait to tell me all about his trip to Paris," Hogan announced in a low voice. "Klink loves to brag after-all."

"Right, sir," Newkirk replied with a disinterested reply.

Hogan followed the obese guard out the barracks door and in the direction of the Kommandantur. Now walking beside him, Hogan looked at the guard. "So why does the great man want to see me, Schultz?" he asked. "I mean, he only returned during roll call today. How much trouble could I possibly get into between then and now?" Hogan did his best to keep a concerned look on his face.

"I do not know, Colonel Hogan," Schultz replied not looking back at the American. "But it must be something important. The Kommandant is furious with you."

"Whatever he's angry about I didn't do it," Hogan pleaded. "What happened, Schultz? Didn't the Kommandant have a good time in Paris?"

Schultz paused and looked around making sure nobody was within hearing range. Satisfied, he glanced at the American. "To tell you the truth, Colonel Hogan, the big shot had a terrible time in Paris."

"Oh? What happened?"

Schultz leaned closer. "Nothing! I know noth-ing!"

Hogan's eyebrows shot upward. "No girls, right, Schultz?" A smirk appeared.

"Donnerwetter! How did you know that? That is not a nice thing to say about the Kommandant."

_Guess the women didn't receive enough combat pay to go out with Klink._ Hogan chuckled. _I got to speak to Newkirk about_ _increasing the combat pay we offer women to go out with Klink when we need them do. It's a dirty job but somebody has to do it._

"Maybe not, Schultz," Hogan agreed. "But there are some things even a lady won't do."

Chuckling, Schultz continued to the Kommandantur with the American prisoner beside him.

* * *

Colonel Klink was seated behind his desk pretending to go over some paperwork as he impatiently waited for Colonel Hogan and Schultz to arrive. He couldn't believe his eyes when Major Zellner showed him the ravaged garden outside his quarters. In fact, Klink's monocle fell into his open palm as he stared at the now decimated patch of earth. Then, to make matters worse, when Klink entered his quarters with Schultz who carried his luggage into his private quarters, Klink was greeted with a second shock which the guard had found in the bedroom when he accidentally stepped on it causing it to attach itself to one of his boots. He handed the item to Klink.

Klink's thoughts were interrupted when there was a knock on his door. "Come in," he shouted looking up. The door opened and Schultz walked in, came to attention, and saluted.

"Herr Kommandant, Sergeant Schultz reporting with Colonel Hogan as ordered."

Klink returned the salute. "Very good, Schultz. Have him come in and then you're dismissed."

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant." Schultz stood aside. "Come in Colonel Hogan, bitte." After Hogan entered, the obese guard walked out and closed the door leaving the two men alone. Giving the Kommandant a sloppy salute and not waiting for permission, Hogan sat down in the chair facing Klink's desk, tossing his cap onto the humidor.

"Have a good time in Paris, Kommandant?"

"Never mind Paris, Hogan. I ordered you here because I want to talk to you."

Hogan raised his eyebrows. "You mean Paris isn't all it's cracked up to be, sir?" he asked innocently. "I would've thought you'd be fighting off the women flocking to a handsome, single German officer like yourself."

Klink puffed out his chest with pride at the remark. A smile appeared momentarily causing Klink to forget why he had ordered Hogan to his office. "Well, I must admit I had to fight off the women who….Hogaaaaaaaaaaan! Stop changing the subject!"

Hogan pretended to appear cowed. "Sorry, sir. Now, what did you want to see me about?"

"Before he left Stalag 13, Major Zellner showed me the garden outside my quarters. Hogan, there is not one flower there. When I left there was an abundance of different flowers there, and now there's nothing. Not one single flower. Perhaps you can explain that to me? What happened to my garden?"

Hogan casually crossed his legs and didn't blink an eye. He simply maintained eye contact with Klink. "Gophers, sir."

Klink anger quickly dissipated and was just as quickly replaced with a puzzled look.

"Gophers? What gophers?"

"Gestapo gophers, sir."

Klink slowly got to his feet and walked around his desk. "How do you know they were Gestapo gophers, Hogan?"

"Well, for one thing, they were wearing little black trench coats with swastikas on the armbands. And second, one of them looked like Major Hochstetter."

For a long moment Klink, now seated on the edge of his desk with folded arms, could only stare in disbelief at his American counterpart. He slowly shook his head. "Hogan, I think you've been a prisoner for too long."

A smile appeared on Hogan's face. "Really sir? Does that mean I can go home then?"

"No! You'll stay right here! _**That**_ is the most ridiculous story I have ever heard! There is no such thing as a Gestapo gopher."

Hogan appeared hurt. "Then perhaps you have another explanation as to why he called Major Zellner and knew you were in Paris without coming here?"

"He did?" Klink muttered nervously. "I never told the Gestapo anything." He started to panic. "How did they know?"

Hogan shrugged. "Blame the gophers, sir. They reported to Hochstetter after-all. I mean, they _were_ his gophers."

Klink got to his feet. "All right, all right, all right. Let's forget the garden for now."

Hogan sighed and started to get to his feet. "Then am I dismissed, sir?"

"Just one moment, Hogan. I'm not finished with you yet." Klink noticed the American wearily sit back down.

"Perhaps you can explain this to me then." Walking back around his desk, Klink opened one of the desk drawers. "Schultz found these in my sleeping quarters. Perhaps you can tell me how they got there?" he said watching Hogan's face for a reaction, but the American's face remained unreadable. He held up a pair of woman's nylons. "Look familiar, Hogan?"

Getting to his feet, Hogan gave Klink a smirk as he reached for the nylons in his hand. "Where did you find them in your quarters?"

"Strangely enough, they were found under my bed."

"So _that's_ where they disappeared to. I thought I had lost them." Hogan took the nylons from Klink and looked at them.

"They're _yours?_" asked a flabbergasted Kommandant.

"Yeah. Who did you think they belonged to, Kommandant?"

"Hogan, I know its been a while, but in case you've forgotten, these nylons belong to a woman. So you expect me to believe they belong to you?"

"Well, when I said they're mine, sir, I didn't really mean they _were_ mine. They're actually my mom's. She sent them to me."

Klink felt like he was suffering from the effects of some kind of Gestapo trick. "And why would your mother send you a pair of nylons, hmmm?"

"Well, I wrote her and told her I was running out of socks so she sent me a pair of her nylons to tide me over. Nice of her wasn't it, Kommandant?" Hogan stuffed the nylons in his jacket pocket.

"And how did they get under my bed, Hogan?"

I had the men clean your quarters for your return, Kommandant. You hadn't been in your quarters in a week. It needed cleaning and airing out. That must have been when I dropped them. Am I dismissed, Kommandant?"

Klink could only stare at Hogan with a stunned expression. "Hogan, you are getting stranger and stranger every time I speak with you. Dissss-missssed!" he said with a salute.

Hogan grabbed his cap and put it back on his head before giving Klink a lazy salute and leaving the office. He glanced at Hilda sitting at her desk staring at him oddly and suspected she had overheard the conversation.

"Colonel Hogan, is there anything you want to tell me?" she asked.

Hogan smirked. "We all have our secrets," he said with a chuckle before leaving the building.

* * *

After evening roll call Hogan walked back into the barracks from the tunnel looking somewhat dejected. Seeing Tiger's nylons in Klink's hands earlier depressed him. He missed her terribly and having something of hers with her scent wasn't helping except to depress him even more. Even his men had seen it when he returned to the barracks after leaving Klink's office. So, while the Colonel was below in the tunnel, Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk went to work in his quarters. They were back in the common room long before their commander climbed back up into the barracks from the tunnel. Seeing them sitting at the table watching him he immediately suspected they had been up to something.

"Gov'nor, we need you to come with us, sir," said Newkirk.

"What's up?" Hogan asked wondering if there was a problem. "Something wrong?"

The men slowly got to their feet. "Colonel, we know you miss Tiger more than you're letting on, and Klink showing you her nylons didn't help any. So, we have something we think might help. At least we hope it will," Kinch explained quietly.

"Please, sir?" asked Carter.

Hogan let out a deep breath. "Fine." He followed his men into his quarters and paused in the doorway when he saw a bucket of ice with a bottle of white wine sitting in it chilling. There were also five cups on the table along with a wrapped package nearby. "What's all this?" he asked as he entered the small room, closing the door behind him.

Nobody spoke. So LeBeau nudged Carter in the ribs with his elbow.

"Well sir…" the young Sergeant began nervously. "…we wanted to congratulate you privately, Colonel. Just us and you. And we have something that might have you miss Tiger a little less." Carter picked up the package and handed it to his commanding officer while Newkirk opened the wine bottle and poured some in each cup. Each man picked up a cup except Hogan who, after unwrapping the package, stared at the framed photo of himself and Tiger holding each other just after their wedding. Hogan looked at Carter, his emotions evident on his face.

"Carter, this is a lovely gift. Thank you."

Carter shrugged innocently. "We just thought this way Tiger could be with you even when she isn't and you wouldn't miss her so much."

Hogan sat the framed photo on his desk so it faced him and picked up his drink. He let out a deep breath. "I'd like to make a toast first," he said. "I want to thank you fellas for what you did for Tiger and I. We were both overwhelmed by everything. I can never nor will I ever be able to thank you enough for everything. You four are, without a doubt, the best friends I could ever have. Thank you for everything."

Kinch raised his cup. "Now its our turn. Colonel, we want to wish you and Tiger nothing but the best and hope you both have a long and happy marriage. We also want you to know there is nothing we wouldn't have done for the two of you to make sure you had the kind of wedding you both wanted and deserved. Congratulations to you both, sir." The men clinked their cups together and then took a drink of the wine.

Hogan stared at each of his men wondering what he had done in his life to deserve four of the best men and best friends ever. They had gone above and beyond what they had promised when they said they had wanted to make the arrangements for his wedding. _Someday, _he thought to himself_. Someday I must repay whoever sent me four of the best friends I could ever have or ask for. Not only have I been blessed with these men, but with a beautiful and loving wife as well._

Hogan picked up the photo and took another drink of wine as he stared at it. Without a doubt, he could not have asked for anything more than what he had been given. And right now, it was enough.

**THE END**


End file.
